


Love Addict

by Otomerson



Category: Amazingphil - Fandom, Danisnotonfire - Fandom, youtube - Fandom, youtuber
Genre: Amazingphil - Freeform, Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Cute, Dan is yandere, F/M, Fans, Fluff, Heavy Angst, Insanity, Jealousy, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Multi, Multiple Endings, Murder, Obsession, Obsessive Behavior, POV Multiple, Phil is also yandere, Possessive Behavior, Reader has a youtube channel, Reader-Insert, Separation Anxiety, Stalking, Violence, Watching, Yandere, YouTubers - Freeform, danisnotonfire - Freeform, envy - Freeform, fans are crazy, possessive, reader is female
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2018-08-27 13:54:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 45,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8404219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Otomerson/pseuds/Otomerson
Summary: Jealousy is wanting to keep what you already haveEnvy is wanting to get what you don't have
For Dan, these emotions are stronger than most.
Dan grew up with severe anxiety, where even touching somebody can trigger a panic attack. When he realizes that somebody besides Phil has the ability to touch him, the feelings of contact become an addiction.Dan develops a large dependence on the feeling, and Phil will do anything to keep Dan happy. Phil and Dan are best friends after all.The duo is loved on the internet for their bright personalities and dorky quirks.But their dark side has been hidden away for far to long.
And (y/n) is the one who finally brings it out.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE WATCH THE BOOK TRAILER:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tpR40s84VQ&feature=youtu.be
> 
> I MADE IT AND IT TOOK FOREVER SO WATCH IT

' _thoughts'_

**(author note)**

(y/n) – your name

(h/c) – hair color

(e/c) – eye color

etcetera...

 

 

**Your P.O.V**

As I grabbed the groceries from my trunk I mentally reminded myself next time to put the eggs in their own bag. I walked through the main door to the apartments and made my way to the elevator, smiling at the reception lady.

When I went to push the elevator button I awkwardly balanced all my bags and decided to use my hip to press it. Sighing, I stepped onto the opened elevator, taking in a deep breath to encourage myself to not have a panic attack.

I'm _very_ claustrophobic.

The suffocating cheery music bounced around the walls that were definitely _not_ closing in on me. Definitely not. Absolutely. They totally were!

When I heard the bing signaling I was at my floor I hastily exited the unpleasant box. ' _Why don't I just take the stairs?'_ I looked down at the bags in my hands. ' _Oh, yeah, I'm super lazy.'_

As I walked down the hallway to get to my room I noticed a figure on the floor, curled up with their head between their knees. Quietly I avoided them, unlocking my door, _113_ , and plopping the groceries inside. After doing so, I felt a nagging feeling at the back of my mind. ' _Maybe I should check on that person.'_

' _Hmm...better not._ '

I continued on, walking around my apartment. Honestly, after graduating college I didn't know what to do with myself, so it was a miracle when my Youtube channel hit twenty thousand subscribers. I didn't think I'd ever live off of speed paints. Also, this apartment was my dream apartment ( **so imagine it however you want to)** and I was so lucky to have it.

' _I wonder why that person was crouched in the hallway._ '

I groaned.

' _It's none of my business...but...'_

Sighing loudly, I unlocked my door and slipped my shoes back on. I adjusted my white sweater and blue jeans, brushing my fingers through my (h/l) (h/c) hair to make sure I was presentable. After stepping outside I sucked in a deep breath, realizing I would have to make human contact if I wanted to check on them.

' _What if they're rapist? Or a murder? Or a terrorist?'_

I shook my head.

' _I'm being paranoid again.'_

I was now standing in front of the crouching person, and concluded they were a male. Crouching down myself, I stared at him, waiting for him to look up.

"Are you okay?" I whispered shyly. When he didn't reply I raised an eyebrow, not sure what to do. "Look, if you're going to sleep somewhere here is definitely not a good place. Do you need some help getting up?"

I heard him mumble something but I couldn't quite make it out. As I focused in, I realized he was talking to himself. "...gonna be okay..." I made out.

"Hey," I placed my hand on his shoulder gently, and he completely tensed up, "Seriously, are you okay?"

"...no..." He whimpered. From his voice I deducted he was possibly around my age, but I couldn't quite see his face. I started rubbing his back in a soothing motion, slowly going up then down. This could very well be the aftermath of a panic attack, and I would know, I've had them many times before.

"Please look at me, curling up in a ball will just make you feel worse, even if you think it's better." My voice was soft, and I was surprised by my own caring tone. Usually by now I would have given up and walked away. Something about him just made me stay.

I watched as he reluctantly lifted his head, not meeting my eyes. I sharply inhaled, realizing this person was definitely male and my age. He was also _extremely_ attractive. I observed his dark brown hair and penny colored eyes. The way he side swept his hair covered his forehead perfectly.

"What's your name?" I smiled, surprised I didn't stutter.

"...Dan..."

"Hello, Dan. Do you feel better now?"

"Yeah." He whispered. I wanted to ask what happened, but decided not to. I didn't want to be nosy.

"Do you need help standing up?"

"No." I stood up and watched as he did the same. And _Jesus Christ_ was he tall. I had to look up to even see him. He looked at me in the eye with a calculating glance, confusion written across his features.

"Is something wrong?" I tilted my head.

"..." He had mumbled something but I couldn't hear it.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." It was like he had to make an effort to speak normally. I smiled brightly at him, before giving him a thumbs up.

"Well, if you're good I'll be making my way to my room. Do you live in these apartments?"

"Yeah, with my best friend."

"Cool! Then maybe I'll see you around."

"Yeah." I ignored the fact that he seemed clearly uninterested in the conversation, occupied by his own mind. I decided it wasn't worth pressing him.

"Alright, well, I'll see you!" I waved to him as I brushed past him, not noticing him shiver at the contact. Placing my hand on the door knob I looked up and noticed him staring at me blankly, and I felt unnerved at his even stare. Quickly turning back to the door I went inside and closed the door, letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Well that was an adventure." I murmured, before walking over to the digital piano located in the living room. But I tripped, and collapsed onto my face. ' _How did I even trip? There wasn't anything on the ground!'_ Cursing my clumsiness, I quickly gathered myself and went to my instrument, knowing I would play it to blow off steam.

What I didn't know was that the decision to help Dan would change my life forever.


	2. Chapter 2 ~ Hello

**Phil P.O.V**

"Dan?" I called, hearing the door to the flat open. Worried at the lack of reply I immediately stood up from my place, walking out of my room and into the living area. I looked up and made eye contact with my flatmate, brows furrowing in worry.

He just...stared at me. Suddenly, it clicked.

"Oh no, did you have a panic attack? I'm so sorry that I wasn't there, Dan. How did you manage to get yourself up?"

He sighed, "That's what I'm thinking about." I tilted my head in confusion. "There was a girl. She helped me."

"Oh!" My smile brightened, "What was her name?"

"Phil, that's not the point!"

"Well, I just wanted to know who she was so I could thank her!"

"Wait, just hear me out-"

"Maybe we should get her a gift basket, or a house plant!"

"Phil!" He yelled, and I snapped out of it. I pouted, not liking it when he raised his voice. He ran his hand through his hair aggressively, a thing he does only when he's stressed. "You don't understand! She touched me, Phil! And it didn't make me panic!"

I blinked. "What?"

"Yeah! After some lady got too close for comfort in the elevator, I had a panic attack and left the suffocating box. Then, I crouched in the hallway because I had no strength to keep standing. This random...girl just came up to me and asked me what's wrong, and of course I couldn't reply, so she touched me to get my attention!"

"This is amazing, Dan! We found somebody other than me who can make physical contact with you without making you anxious!"

"No!" He growled out, "I don't need anyone else, Phil. I only need my best friend." He stubbornly crossed his arms, pouting like a child. Despite his negativity, I continued smiling, excited at the prospect of the situation.

"So what's her name?" I pressed, failing to hide my excitement.

"I don't know."

"What?" I was distraught, my whole posture drooping into a state of complaint. "Does she know yours?"

"Yeah."

"Bloody hell Dan!" I groaned, smacking my head. "Look, I know you don't like other people very much," He snorted, "But this is your chance to expand your views! At least tell me what she looks like so I know who she is when I see her."

"She lives in 113."

"What the heck? How do you know that of all things?"  
  


"I watched her go into her room, of course."

"That's creepy, Dan!" He merely shrugged in reply. I sighed loudly again, running my hand through my fringe. But, that meant we could find her!

"I'm going to go meet her!"

"No way! That's more creepy then what I did!"  
  


"Awwww...." I pouted, crossing my arms and puffing out my cheeks. After a few moments, I could practically feel the exasperation flowing off of Dan, so I dejectedly turned away from him, lowering my head in sadness.

"What-Phil, come on, don't do this to me."

I turned even farther away from him, letting out a large sigh from my nose.

"Phil...!" He whined. A small, teasing smile lifted my lips. I turned around to face him, that same cheeky grin overtaking my face.

"Why aren't you excited, Dan?"

"I already told you! I only need one friend."

"What if I leave you? You won't have any friends then. You should make more friends."

I regretted it once the words left my mouth. Dan's eyes widened in shock, and I saw panicked tears swell in his eyes. "You're going to leave me?" He whispered, sniffing.

"No! Of course not, Dan! It was just a 'what if', it doesn't come true." He walked towards me slowly, brown eyes hardened.

"It better be." I only smiled at his dark words, walking up to him and ruffling his hair with my hand. Honestly, I've grown used to his possessive behavior. I was his only friend, after all, so it wasn't a surprise that he became attached. Plus, that's just how he is. A jealous person.

It's gotten even more prominent after TATINOF because it was a situation where he was completely out of his comfort zone. I was very proud of him, though, for doing what he did on stage.

"Do you want me to boil some noodles for dinner?"

"Yeah, that'd be nice." He smiled, sheepish.

**Your P.O.V**

After filming another drawing, I decided to take a food break. Smiling to myself at the thought of eating I made my way to the kitchen, prepared to cook something good. But, my resolve quickly diminished and I ended up making ramen again.

Eating the last of the noodles I threw the dish into the sink. Adjusting my sweater, I recalled what had happened earlier today, and found myself wondering who exactly this 'Dan' was. For some strange reason, he had looked very familiar.

Though, a lot of people can look familiar.

I slipped my shoes on and walked back out the door, closing it behind me. I decided today was a good day to take a walk. It was a rare sunny day outside. As I walked toward the elevator I felt myself tensing up again. Still, I was too lazy to go down the stairs, so I ended up going into the torturous elevator.

As the doors closed I noticed a tall, lanky figure with bright blue eyes running towards me. "Wait!" Realizing he wanted to get in, I stuck my arm out and stopped the elevator doors from closing. Huffing, he ran through the door, a sheepish smile decorating his features.

' _Two good looking guys in one day? Wow, how have I not seen them before...well I guess I do spend a lot of time in my room. I wonder if that's Dan's best friend? Ah, probably not. Just a coincidence.'_

"Sorry about that, hope I didn't disturb you."

"Oh, it's no issue." I smiled politely as the doors closed once again, making me breathe in sharply.

"Claustrophobic?" He guessed.

"Yup." He grinned, shaking his head. "What?" I questioned his expression.

"Nothing, you just remind me of someone I know. By the way, what's your name?"

"Oh, it's (y/n). I live on this floor."

"Me too! I'm in room 115." We smiled at each other, finding comfort in one another's presence. He had such a kind, easy-going aura about him that just made you want to be around him. "My name's Phil, by the way." I nodded, storing his name in my memory. Hopefully, I wouldn't forget it.

"Well, I guess we're neighbors."

  
"Huh?"  
  


"I'm in room 113."

"Oh, cool!" I stifled a laugh at his adorable awkwardness. Suddenly, a flash of recognition skid across his face, and his large eyes looked down to meet mine.

"Wait, did you say room 113?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Oh my gosh!" He exclaimed, "You're the one who helped my friend, Dan, aren't you?" An excited expression laced his features as his bright blue orbs lit up.

"Wait, the one guy who had a panic attack in the hallway? Are you his best friend?"

"Yeah! Oh my gosh, I definitely have to treat you somewhere as thanks. You see, Dan has panic attacks a lot so I'm usually with him, but he had to go somewhere alone so...that happened. Thank you so much for helping him!" He clasped his hands together, practically jumping up and down.

"Oh, it's no problem." I smiled widely, giving him my best joyful expression. Honestly, he seemed too innocent and adorable. He paused for a moment, and I noticed his face flush red as he stared at me.

"Are you okay?" I pressed, worried by his sudden change in demeanor.

"Y-yeah, just excited to meet a new friend!"

We just met, and he already considers me a friend?

"Here's my number, make sure to text me yours!" The elevator finally reached the bottom floor, and Phil let me type in his number into my phone before leaving. "I'll see you later, (y/n)!" He waved enthusiastically, and I waved back with an amused grin.

Today was a good day.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3 - Coffee with Phil

****Chapter 3** **

****(yt/n) – Youtube name** **

****Phils P.O.V** **

“Oh my gosh! I’m late!” I screeched, tugging at my fringe when I stared at my phones clock.

“What could you possibly be late for, Phil?” I heard Dan’s groggy voice call back, “It’s like, ten in the morning?” It was more a question than a statement.

“I promised to meet (y/n) at the coffee shop near us!”

“Who the hell is (y/n)?” I ignored his narrowed eyes.

“She’s the girl who saved you, Dan!” I beamed, “I met her in the elevator yesterday, and gave her my number to hang out. I wanted to treat her for helping you.”

“Why would you want to do that?” He scoffed, “It’s not like she’s this amazing girl, I bet she’s selfish, bitchy and annoying. Just stay here for the morning.” He gestured to the room.

“Dan!” I whined, “That’s very rude of you to say without meeting her. I’m going and that’s final, I’ll see you later!” I waved and smiled, before hastily escaping the door before I could hear his loud protests.

****Your P.O.V** **

I looked at my watch, sighing sadly, before standing up straight with regained posture. ‘ _No way am I going to be sad over this if he doesn’t come then it’s not my fault.’_ I smiled, adjusting my blue sweater and silver necklace. I loved this necklace and wore it all the time.

“…(y/n)…!” I spun around, turning back and forth. Had someone just called my name? I tilted my head as a running, tall lanky man came into view. Relief washed over me when the blue eyes I met yesterday stared into mine.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to come late!” He looked extremely sheepish and almost panicky. “Oh! I’m never late! I hate being out of control!” He whined like a child, rubbing his head as I looked up at him.

“Don’t worry about it! It’s fine.” I smiled widely, just happy that he came. It was great meeting new people, especially since I haven’t made any friends here.

He stared at me for a few moments, before sharply looking away, cheeks red. I assumed it was because of the cold. It was fall, after all. “Want to go inside?” He awkwardly asked, rocking back and forth.

“Of course!” I grinned, opening the door for him. He looked at me a second, before pouting once again.

“How am I supposed to be a gentleman if you hold the door open?” He complained, and I felt a small smile tipping the edge of my lip. He was cute, to say the least.

“Just go inside!” I ushered him in, letting the door press shut behind me as wafts of coffee rushed into my nose.

After we both ordered hot chocolate–despite going out to coffee–we sat down in a small booth in the corner of the café. I studied his chiseled features, wondering why he looked _so_ familiar, but again, brushed it off.

  
“So,” He smiled brightly enough to rival the sun, “What are your hobbies…?” By the end of the sentence, his face flushed a deep scarlet, embarrassment clouding his flustered features. I giggled at his cute attempt to make conversation.

“I have a Youtube channel that I do art for. It’s recently become my job actually!” After I said it proudly he was silent for a moment, and I was worried he was judging me for being a Youtuber, if he would think I slack off for a living. “I-I mean, I’m not like a big channel or anything, just twenty thousand, but selling my art has made me a living.”

There was still silence.

Ahhh….

Hm….

Okay….

Now he’s just staring.

“Are you okay?” I questioned earnestly.

“A-Ah! Sorry, I zoned out for a second. I was debating on whether telling you I was a Youtuber as well!” He beamed.

“Really?” I grinned excitedly. “What do you do? How long have you been doing it? Do you make a living? Does your best friend have a channel too–“  
  


“I’m a vlogger and I record video games with Dan, who is also a vlogger. Yes, we live off of it, and we’ve been doing it for years.”

“Oh my gosh! You have to show me!” He looked skeptical. I wonder why?

****Phils P.O.V** **

I wasn’t sure whether I should show her our channels. If I show her how many subscribers we have it might scare her away or make her envious or something like that. It’s all happened before. But something inside of me told me she was different.

Come on Phil, you can do it.

“Only if you show me yours!” I bargained, and she giggled with delight, murmuring an ‘I’m so excited’ and pulling out her phone. She opened the Youtube app and typed in something, before showing me her channel.

Her Youtube name was (yt/n), and her whole page had a nice aesthetic to it. I clicked on her most recent speed paint and watched in awe as she worked digitally and traditionally. She explained with pleasing music what materials she used and the computer software. After I finished watching I looked up to see a shuffling (y/n) rocking back and forth nervously.

“So...” She paused, “What do you think?”

  
“Amazing! I’m definitely subscribing!” She looked startled by my encouraging reply, and a large grin plastered across her flushed cheeks when she looked downwards.

“Aw…you don’t have to do that. But what you said means a lot to me.” Her smile was breathtaking as she stared into my eyes, and I couldn’t help but feel myself wanting to get to know her more, especially since there must be a reason she can touch Dan. “Now show me yours!”

“Me and Dan both have our separate channels, and then we share a gaming channel.” I typed in my channel name nervously, feeling my fingers slip over the keys. For some reason, I really didn’t want this bubbly, nice person to change after finding out who I and Dan really are and what we do. I just need a sincere person in my life.

Here goes nothing.

I handed her back the phone and expected an outburst, but instead got a silent giggle, which turned into laughter. “Oh my god!” She laughed, before taking a sip of hot cocoa. “You’re amazing! Let me watch one of these. Man, I wondered why you were so familiar. I must have seen you before.”

The whole time she watched the screen my jaw was dropped.

Is this really happening?

Did she really just accept it just like that?

As I pondered it with confusion I eventually heard her calling my name, and I snapped out of whatever trance I was in.

“Phil? You okay?”

“Yup! Feel great actually.” I smiled, honest.

“You know, you have an adorable personality. I’m glad we have a chance to become friends!” She beamed. I felt my face heat up at her compliment, even though having heard it before it sounded differently coming from her mouth.

“T-thank you, (y/n). You’re very talented at art as well.”

“Aw, no need for the polite re-complement.” She waved her hand, scoffing sarcastically as she finished her hot cocoa, and I did as well.

I walked her to the door, this time able to open it for her. She rolled her eyes playfully, before turning around. “I had a lot of fun today. I hope I get to see you again soon!”

“Yeah! Make sure to text me!”

“Of course”

“See ya!”

“Bye bye!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, a lot of things happened for me and I was really busy :L. I should be back to regular updating!
> 
> Hope you forgive me with this new chapter!
> 
> Also if you just came here for the Danxreader just wait! I have it planned out so please be patient for it (and the yandere) and keep reading lol.


	4. Chapter 4 - Meeting Him

**Chapter 4**

**Phils P.O.V**

It's been about two weeks.

And today's the day I'm finally going to force Dan to make friends with (y/n). Of course, I haven't told him that I kind of...maybe...liked her? I don't know...she's just so perfect and everything and it seems like nothing's wrong with her. I don't even feel worthy of her, especially when she called me her best friend.

It's just her beautiful (h/l) (h/c) hair that makes me want to run my fingers through it. I just want her to be impressed with me, to think I'm cool...or something like that. I just want her to be happy.

Dan would hate it if I told him that. He would hate (y/n) even more.

I can't let him hate (y/n).

He wouldn't let me be with her.

I blinked.

Why did I feel so angry just then? That's unlike me.

I brushed off the feeling and continued my way to Dan's room, who right now was cocooned in a blanket wrap and watching a random show on Netflix. "Phil?" He turned to me, face popping out through a small hole in the blanket. "What's up?"

"Dan, I have decided you are going to be friends with (y/n)."

"Um. No?"

"Why not?" I whined, pouting as my whole body sulked.

"Cus' I don't like her. You've been paying a lot of attention to her lately...almost like you...like her..." His eyes narrowed as he ended his sentence, and I saw anger seep beneath his gaze. "Please tell me I'm wrong."

"I'm not saying anything until you meet her!"

"Why do you want me to fucking meet her so badly?"

"Because she can touch you! Haven't you wanted to know what it feels like to touch someone other than me? Especially a girl?"

He looked at me for a second, eyes trailing to the side. Yes, I got him now. "I only need you..." He stammers, and I saw uncertainty under his normally stubborn appearance.

"Nope. You need backup in case I die. You're meeting her."

"Noooooooooo...." He wailed, covering himself with the checkered blanket as he sunk into the mattress. I smiled at his childishness, already knowing that I've won.

"Great! She's coming over today at four so be ready! She always is on time!"

"Wait!" He sat up quickly, "Did you already invite her before asking me?"

"Better make yourself presentable!" I rushed out of the room, a small smile on my face.

I have made up my mind.

(Y/n) must be in our lives, it's fate. She's going to be with either me or Dan. If she can cure his anxiety like me, then there's no point for her to be with anyone else.

If I can't play the boyfriend, I'll be the matchmaker.

And nothing can change my mind once I've made it.

**Your P.O.V**

I looked at the clock on my wall, sighing. Why do I get ready so early? Now I'm just an anxious mess trying not to sweat my makeup off.

I really hope Dan likes me. I really do.

It would be great to have another friend, especially if he's like Phil. Though, I doubt that. Nobody's as much of a ray of sunshine as Phil.

I'm surprised I don't have a crush on him. I just think being friends is the best. Plus, he'd never like me anyway so what's the point...he's just not my type I guess.

"What is my type?" I question out loud before a smirk settles on my face. But I quickly shake my head and it disappears. I definitely know _my_ type.

After another hour of being lazy and lounging around, I almost gave into my food cravings before I realized it was five minutes before I was supposed to be there.

Quickly, I put on my slip on shoes. Since they lived so close there was no point to wearing anything fancy. At the moment I was just wearing casual jeans and a cardigan with a tank top. Plus, the necklace I always wear. Hopefully, I chose the right outfit. Phil told me Dan was hard to please and wasn't the most open to meeting new people.

Phil also explained his condition that restricted him from making physical contact with other people. It was sad, really, that anxiety can overwhelm a person to that extent. Sad, but definitely not impossible. Phil also told me that since I touched Dan and he didn't get overwhelmed, that I was just like him.

Maybe it's fate that we met that day, Dan and I.

I knocked on their door at four on the spot. I heard shuffling and a groan of annoyance from behind the door. When it opened I saw Phil's glowing smile. "Hey! You look really pretty!" He complimented.

"Pffft, nah, you look better." I waved him off, stepping inside when he moved the door out of the way. When I walked in I marveled at their flat. It looked just like their videos...that I may or may not have been binge-watching since Phil showed me the channels. Slipping my shoes off I turned my head and was startled when I was met with two intense brown eyes.

"Hi." I smiled, waving. "You're name was Dan, right?"

"Yeah." He sighed, uninterested. I felt slightly discouraged but didn't let it get to me. If he's going to act like a jerk then let him. I'll just keep being me.

"Cool! Phil talked a lot about you. I'm happy to finally meet you again." I grinned, and Dan raised his eyebrow as he looked to Phil, before shaking his head.

"What did he say?"

"Well, he complimented you a lot and told me how close you two were!" I thought for a moment I maybe saw a tiny smile on his face, "He also...uh...I hope you're okay with me knowing about your uh...Phil told me about it."

"What?"

"Your anxiety?" It came out more as a question as nerves tightened my chest. He immediately looked to the side sharply at Phil, glaring disapprovingly.

"Well, I guess since you already know then there's no point keeping it a–agh!"

"Sorry!" I blurted, removing my hand from his arm. "Ahhh...I'm so sorry I just wanted to see if what Phil said was true about touching you and I didn't mean to scare you or anything...oh my god, I messed up sorry I'll just leave if you don't want me here–"

I heard a loud, exasperated sigh. "No, no it's fine. Come on in." He gestured to the couches by the T.V, where Phil was sitting with his mouth in an O shape. I nodded, embarrassed, and shuffled over and sat on the left of Phil. Dan sat across from both of us.

After about five minutes of complete silence, I heard Phil cough loudly. I giggled. "Does your throat hurt?" I pretend to be concerned.

"No...just had to break this obnoxious silence." Phil smiled down at me, before looking to Dan who had a displeased, but slightly curious expression. "Hey! I want to try something. A little test to see how much Dan can handle you touching him."

"Um, Phil, we kinda just met. It's little awkward don't you think?"

"Nah! Come on, (y/n), you don't think it's awkward do you."

"I have to agree with Dan, Phil, that is awkward."

"Whelp, you're both doing it! So suck it up." I continued to stay seated, not wanting to encourage him. After a few moment he groaned loudly, and to my surprise, completely lifted me off the couch and put me on my feet. I didn't sit back down from the pure shock of it. The wide eyes of Dan met mine when Phil also forced him to sit up as well.

We stared at each other, his brown eyes meeting my (e/c) ones. After another few minutes of staring, Phil came up to us. "If you're not going to do anything then I will!" He yelled playfully, before shoving me. _Hard_.

"Ack!" I yelped as I lost my balance, bracing for a fall. Before I could hit the ground two long arms wrapped around me.

**Dan P.O.V**

I've had enough of her. She's nice. I just don't like Phil being so friendly to someone else.

Right now we're in some strange staring contest, and I took the time to carefully study her features, before coming to the conclusion that yes, she was pretty.

Damn it. I want her to be ugly so Phil won't like her. Though, he's not that shallow so even that wouldn't have worked.

"If you're not going to do anything then I will!" I barely heard Phil's voice as I was very focused on my thoughts to make Phil hate (y/n). Suddenly, I noticed her falling forwards, and before she hit the ground I automatically caught her in my arms.

I blinked.

She was...warm...and smelled nice. She was also...soft? I further wrapped my arms around her, curious of what it would feel like. It was very comforting not feeling anxiety. It feels like all my worries are being sucked away as I touched her.

"...dan..."

My arms tightened around her as my mind reeled, my heartbeat in my head. This felt really...nice. I feel happy.

"...Dan."

My head landed on top of her head, resting my chin on her hair. She was much shorter than me, but I didn't mind.

"DAN!"

"WHAT!" I yelped, jumping back from her and running into the bookshelf behind me. My eyes were wide and my breaths shallow and fast. What the hell just happened? Am I okay? What did I just feel?

And why did I like it?

"Watch out!" I heard a screech, and I felt myself being pushed to the side before a loud crash echoed through the room.

My mind was spinning and I couldn't focus on the voice yelling my name, trying to snap me out of it. I was too focused on the sensations that _I_ jumped away from. I need to feel it again. I need to know why she makes me feel like that. It's different from when I touch Phil.

"Dan! Get the first aid kit!"

"...what?" I blinked, still lost in my thoughts.

"The bookshelf you bumped into..." Phil panted, "(Y/n) pushed you out of the way when it fell!"

"So?"

"IT FELL ON HER YOU IDIOT!"

My mouth opened, then closed.

"Well, maybe this is better!" I spat, "That way you'll stop paying so much attention to her!"

"Dan, I don't think you understand..." He sighs, "If we don't help her she'll not want to be around us!"

"Yeah! That's how it should be!"

"Then you won't be able to make contact with her _._ "

I froze.

I'm not so shallow that I would keep her around just because she makes me feel something...right?

...

"Let me get the kit."


	5. Chapter 5 - Video Games

**Dan's P.O.V**

I chewed my nails nervously as I rocked back and forth curled into a fetal position.

It's been three days since that bookshelf fell on (y/n). The corner of it hit her head and made a gash. We had to bring her to the hospital.

A nurse flirted with me. And I fucking hated it. I hated it so much. Especially since (y/n) was really hurt, conscious, but bleeding and _hurt_. Throughout the whole time, (y/n) kept telling us she was okay. Phil was so scared...and the nurse had the _audacity_ to flirt with me while my best friend and (y/n) were both not doing well.

The worst part was...she _brushed against my arm_. Her _disgusting_ hand went up and down my arm. I almost threw up. My vision hazed as my body collapsed onto the ground. I remember sitting completely still as everything around me swirled.

And then, it all had stopped when I felt a soft hand rest on my hair. I lifted my head slowly and was met with two kind (e/c) eyes. Despite barely knowing me, and me being the cause of her head injury, she hugged me and comforted me.

Right now, three days later, I was still relishing in that moment when I hugged her. It just felt so...so...unreal. I needed to see her again. She wasn't a bitch like I thought she was. She was kind enough to take care of me when she was in pain.

And, Phil recently told me that (y/n) had a small art channel, and didn't ask us to give her a shout out or react in any way besides positive.

Without even knowing my mind was already seeing her in a positive light. Almost like I didn't care that she was Phil's life.

Almost like...I wouldn't care if she was in mine.

Perhaps, it was fate that she could bring me these new emotions.

I need to see her again to know for sure.

**Your P.O.V**

While I was recording another speed paint I felt my table buzz. I turned and looked at my phone, completely surprised to see a text from _Dan_.

"He texted me?" I questioned out loud. After the hospital check, I got a bandage on my head. Not the most attractive thing ever but it serves its purpose. It doesn't hurt very much but whenever I see Phil he always becomes like a mother and tries to coddle me. I also have been thinking about why Dan kept hugging me when Phil pushed me onto him. Or why Phil let me comfort him.

Maybe Dan really wants to give me a chance...?

At that thought, I opened my phone excitedly.

_Dan:_

_hey wanna hang out_

_(Y/n):_

_Sure! What do you want to do?_

_Dan:_

_idk do u wanna come over_

_(Y/n):_

_Sounds fun, when do you want me too?_

_Dan:_

_whenever u could come now idk_

_(Y/n):_

_Okay! I'll be over in ten!_

_Dan:_

_k_

I smiled happily. He invited me to come over, I can't believe it! I'm so excited. Wait, I have to stay calm. I don't want to weird him out. Was I too eager? I just really want to be his friend for some reason.

Well, hopefully, this goes well.

**Dan's P.O.V**

"Hnnngggg." I looked at the clock, bored. I haven't moved a step since I texted (y/n), too lazy to move. Moving is so hard. Life is so hard.

What's the point of life?

"No Dan, not today. No existential crisis for you." I stated sternly before my mind wandered to what we would do. Hopefully, she likes video games or anime. Cus' if not then we can't be friends.

Without realizing I began playing out the conversations we could possibly have.

"Hey Dan, how are you."

"Oh, I'm fine, thank you. How about you?"

"Good, good. Thanks for asking. So, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know, maybe play video games or watch anime? Wait, that's not going to work Dan, think of a better way of saying it...like...Oh! I don't know, maybe we can watch something? We have videos games, we could do that? Or if you don't like either we can go somewhere? No wait, don't give that option Dan, you don't want to go outside."

"Sure! I'd love to watch anime and play video games with you!...no way is she going to say that. Ugh, she's so unpredictable already. Wait, maybe we could go shopping or something? Do girls like that?"

"Ugh no Dan I don't want to go anywhere I just want to stay inside and watch TV all day and shield from the outside world."

"Oh really? That's what I was thinking..."

I paused. Was I talking to myself again? Damn it. I need to break this bad habit. Phil already caught me once and almost called a professional.

_Knock Knock._

I blinked. Before jumping to my feet and falling over as I did so. "Shit." I groaned, before standing up and running to the door. "Okay Dan, this is it. Don't fail on me brain." I whispered to myself, before opening the door.

"Hey, Dan! How are you?" She smiled.

"Goodbye. Wait, no, fuck, I meant hello!" My eyes widened at my mistake. Fucking brain, I wanted to slam my head into a table. Instead of the skepticism I was expecting I heard a cute giggle.

"Guess you're just as nervous as I am?" She grinned, and I felt myself _almost_ smiling back.

"Of course not. Why would I be nervous? Haha..." I trailed off before she raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, okay...so what do you want to do?"

"I don't know...we could uh...wait first come inside. Also, how's your head?" I opened the door for her as she stepped inside, and I stopped myself from reaching out and hugging her again, just to feel those sensations I felt last time.

"Oh, it's perfectly fine. Phil's been fretting like a mother. I bet he does that when you're sick or hurt too, huh?"

"Yup." I nodded, popping the 'p'. It was strange, I wasn't even jealous that Phil was treating her that way.

"Do you have video games?"

"Yeah." I smiled without realizing before I quickly hid it with wide eyes. (Y/n) stared at me for a moment, and I thought for maybe a second I saw red cheeks. I brushed it off, walking over to the TV before turning on the Wii U we had. "Do you know what Smash is?"

"Super smash brothers? Of course, I do! Do you have it? Can we play it?" I almost chuckled at her childish excitement. _Almost._

"Sure." I acted uninterested, but on the inside, I was happy that she wasn't some prissy gossip girl that lived off of shopping, makeup, and sass. I popped the game into the console before grabbing us both controllers. I was the best at this game, and couldn't wait to show off my skills.

After it loaded up, I clicked on the mode I wanted. After being faced with the roster I immediately went for Ness, who I was a pro at. (Y/n) made me snicker when she chose Villager. Ha, this is going to be an easy win.

**_~A few minutes later~_ **

"WHAT! NO WAY! GET OUT!" I shouted, before dropping my head in despair. "YOU STILL HAD TWO LIVES! YOU MUST HAVE CHEATED!"

"Nope!" She grinned at me. "I'm just really good." She pointed a thumb to herself. I wailed in disbelief, tossing my game controller onto the ground.

"Oh no! It's the end of the world!" I mocked, "Dan has lost therefore the world is ending! BOOM. CRASH. Everyone dies. The end." I threw my arms into the air but felt my head snap in her direction when I heard her laugh.

It was joyful and honest, and very loud. Like, really loud. I should do my best to make her laugh more often.

"Wanna play another round?" She snickered, "Though, you probably won't beat me."

"Bring it on, peasant."

**_~A few hours later~_ **

"I had a lot of fun, Dan"

"Me too. We should hang out again."

"Of course, just text me whenever."

"See ya."

"Bye!"

And the door shut.

My arm reached forward, gently resting on the door frame.

I didn't touch her.

_I didn't touch her._

"Fuck. I should of like, given her a high five or _something._ Damn it. Damn it damn it damn it. Now I have to wait again. Agh," I ruffled my hair, before walking to the couch and plopping down. I rested my head in my hands, knowing Phil won't be back for a while. He had gone out to film a vlog and still hasn't come back.

"I need to see her again."

And for the next few times I saw her...

I continued to say that exact phrase.

Every time she left.


	6. Chapter 6 - Love

**Chapter 6**

**Phils P.O.V**

I was so excited because today was the day...

I was finally going to ask (y/n) out!

At first, I wasn't going to because it seemed like Dan has taken a liking to her, after all, It's been a month since we went to the hospital for (y/n), and he's still inviting her over to hang out all the time. And I don't even need to mention how touchy he is with her.

Of course, I feel kind of bad, so that's why I'm going to tell him I'm asking her out. I'm crossing my fingers that he'll be okay with it and not interfere.

I befriended her first.

I introduced them to each other.

She _has_ to like me.

She _will_ like me–

Whoa, why am I getting so worked up? I shrugged it off, before smiling joyfully, thinking about all the things we could do in a relationship. I could introduce her to my channel, and we could make videos together! I could finally announce her Youtube channel because for some reason she wouldn't let me give her a shout out. Something about earning her own subscribers.

So, I had high hopes when I walked into the living room to Dan browsing Tumblr. Without skipping a beat I immediately asked him. "Hey Dan, so today I'm going to ask (y/n) out, is that okay?"

"No."

"Okay! Thanks, I'm going–wait, what?"

"You heard me. No."

"W-what do you mean?"

"I don't want you to date her."

"Dan, are you getting jealous that it won't be just you and me anymore? Because if that's so it's kind of selfish–"

"Yeah, I'd be jealous."

"Come on, I'm already your best friend what more could you–"

"I'd be jealous of you."

I froze.

"W-what?" I stammered.

"I'd be jealous of you."

"I-I don't get it."

"You're not going to date her."

"Dan, are you okay–" I was cut off when he abruptly stood up, resting his computer on the table. He turned to my direction and stalked towards me, and for once those narrowed eyes were directed at me.

"You will not date her. _I_ was waiting to ask her out at the right moment, but I'm guessing I'm going to have to do that sooner than later."

"Um," I was so shocked I couldn't think of a reply. Was he really going to do that? "But I liked her first."  
"So? Phil, I live with this thing, that only lets me touch so far...two people? And she's one of them, right? So wouldn't it make sense for us to be together? I mean, when we make contact it's different from when you and I do it, Phil. It feels like all my worries disappear. Plus, she's a good person. She's kind and caring. She doesn't go out often, which is perfect for me. I wouldn't want anyone else getting their germs on her, now would I?"

"Dan...are you trying to manipulate me?"

"Maybe, maybe not. But wouldn't it make you the bigger person if you let me have her? I mean, I probably won't meet another girl like her again, that's amazing _and_ can cure my anxiety."

"I don't like this side of you."

"Oh, come on, you've seen it before. You know what I'm really like, don't you?" he stepped closer and closer, before meeting me face to face. He was taller than me by only a little bit, but I still felt intimidated. "I guess you don't know the extent I'm willing to go too to get what I want this time."

"Dan, please, I really like her–"

I felt my words get stuck in my throat.

For the first time in my life, I was afraid of Dan.

"Are you getting in my way?" He lowered his eyes to meet mine. The soft chocolatey brown they used to be were darkened, his voice deeper. He chuckled darkly, shaking his head, before leaning into my ear. "You're my best friend, Phil..." He whispered softly, "But I just can't give her to you." He once again met my eyes.

"D-Dan please, I think I love her–"

"WHAT?" He bellowed, and I stepped backward in shock. This wasn't the Dan that I knew. Who was this? I knew his jealousy was bad...but I didn't know...I didn't know about _this._ I was _shaking_ in fear now.

"I-I-I mean, don't you?"

I closed my eyes and braced for another yell, but got none. Instead, I saw Dan pondering, before a large smile spread across his face. "Yeah, I guess I do." With that same smile on his face, he turned to me. "This is why I'm acting like this right?" His eyes widened, and I noticed his chest heaving. "Phil...why do I feel like hurting you? Phil, I'm scared, I'm scared, Imscaredimscaredimscaredimscared–"

I rushed forward, recognizing his oncoming panic attack. I quickly hugged him, petting his head as he fell to the ground and curled into a ball, sobbing. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry..." He kept repeating over and over, crying louder and louder. "I didn't mean too...I didn't want to...I–"

"It's okay Dan," I felt tears brimming in my own eyes, "It's okay. I know. You'll be okay. I'm here, you're not alone."

"I'm sorry..." He sobbed once last time, and he continued whispering those words until I felt him go limp in my arms. With a big sigh, I sat there, unable to pick him up. I continued hugging him, gently petting his head.

Was that...really him?

Or, what that the Dan that's been hiding away for so long, waiting for someone to bring them out?

Whatever that was, I know now that he needs a break from (y/n). I'll have to text her that we'll be busy for a while and won't be able to hang out, even if it hurts me too.

I may just have to give her up for Dan...or not. Ornotornotornotornotornot–

I took a deep breath. I've been feeling strange as well. I need to direct these controlling feelings at something else.

What can I do?

Maybe I could make it my goal to get them two together?

He is my best friend after all, isn't that kind of my job? But, I still love her, right? I think she likes Dan anyways.

_I mean, I could date her anyways. Even if she doesn't like me._

But that's not how it works? I think. Could I really bring myself to do something like that? I would never forgive myself. That's just not who I am.

Come on Phil, direct those weird feelings towards getting (y/n) and Dan together.

Okay. Phil, it is going to be your duty to get them together.

_No matter what._


	7. Chapter 7 - Walking Behind

**Chapter 7** **  
**

**Dans P.O.V**

It's been three weeks. I'm losing my mind. I haven't seen her a single day. Haven't texted her a single time. She keeps _texting_ me. _Asking_ if I'm okay. I need to tell her that I like her. I need to tell her right now.

I don't care if Phil thinks I might have that unhealthy jealousy like last time. I don't even think Phil will try to get in my way again.

At that thought I went to my room and got ready, putting on my favorite outfit and adjusting my hair.

I stared in the mirror. Come on Dan, she'll definitely say yes. Doesn't she like you too? I mean, why else would she keep texting you. But, the thoughts of rejection still kept me still, not letting me move another step.

One way, or another, I'm going to be with her.

I smiled at that thought...for some strange reason. "You're a little messed up, but that's okay, everyone is, right? Right?" I encouraged myself, finally walking away from the mirror and walking to the front door.

"Dan? Where are you going?"

"To confess." Before he could protest I had left the flat, and I was walking down the hallway. Suddenly, I stopped, watching as her door opened and she walked out in a cute outfit and walked towards the elevator. My nerves got the best of me, and I couldn't confront her. So I did the only logical thing.

I followed her. She took the elevator so I took the stairs. As she left the building I continued to trail behind her, pulling my hoodie up and shoving my hands in my pockets. It was cold. I wonder if she was cold?

I walked along the very edge of the sidewalk, making sure to avoid everyone and not lose track of (y/n). I can't believe I walking outside like this without Phil right next to me. She's really pulling me out of my comfort zone, isn't she?

Everything was going fine. She went into a grocery store, and I stood outside so she wouldn't recognize me by my tall figure. She came back out, holding too many bags that were filled to the brim. I sighed, this couldn't go well.

She kept walking forward without getting distracted by anything. It was all perfect until somebody shoved into her, and she dropped everything. Rage boiled in my chest as the man who ran into her shouted 'Watch it!' rudely. My chest heaved as short breaths left my mouth, and my eyes were fixed on the man that did that to her.

I was able to control myself until I noticed she was _crying_. Either from the embarrassment or how scary the man was. All I wanted to do was run over and hug her. But, first, I needed to do something about this self-righteous man that would do that to an innocent girl like her.

**Phil's P.O.V**

I nervously paced around the house, wondering how the confession is going. I hope it goes well since now I can't be with her anymore. Dan's my best friend, I couldn't do that to him.

But, if she doesn't like him, that doesn't mean I'm going to let her date someone else. I'm supposed to help Dan, right? That's why I'm going to make their relationship perfect, even if she rejects him.

My thoughts were interrupted when the door opened, and I heard footsteps walking into the room. "Dan? Did the confession go well–" I froze. "D-Dan...what happened?"

"Nothing, Phil, just some bastard." I continued to stare at his battered appearance, completely perplexed.

"Did you...fight someone?"

"It doesn't matter. I took care of it."

"What do you mean."

"Well, I was following (y/n) and this bastard ran into her and made her cry. So, I decided he should be punished for it."

"So you touched him?"

"Hah, no way. I lured him into an alleyway with insults and he hit me a few times. I felt so anxious, but I think the anxiety only fueled my adrenaline and anger. Then, I found a bat, and beat him with it." He stated casually, plopping onto the couch. I blinked, eyes widening. I began breathing fast, worry clouding my senses.

"Is he alive? Dan! Why would you do that!" I rushed into the bathroom and grabbed the first aid kit, still having supplies in it. When I rushed back out Dan had a happy grin on his face, clenching and unclenching his fists.

"It felt really good. He deserved it for hurting (y/n). And don't worry, I wouldn't kill somebody." He waved me off.

"That is _not_ the way to handle things."

"It was so weird, Phil!" He ignored me, "It was like I could channel my anxiety into my anger. I bet it's because I was doing it for (y/n). Damn, everything revolving around her just makes my life better, doesn't it?"

"Dan, should I even ask why you were stalking her in the first place?" I asked, worry still thumping in my chest, preparing to clear the dirt from his face.

"What? I wasn't stalking her. I just followed her because she walked out of her flat right when I did. I got nervous and didn't want to confess, so I just kind trailed behind her. Is that so wrong? If I didn't, her crying wouldn't have been avenged."

"Dan, I worry about you." I sigh, plastering a bandage on his face. "I get that you like her...but this is becoming a bit creepy and...unnatural."

"Oh, come on. You call it stalking, I call it walking, just extremely close behind. I'm sure if I sat down and asked her, well, she really wouldn't mind."

"Dan," My eyes were wide in fear, had he lost his mind? "H-How about you just confess and stop...walking near her."

"Good idea!" He grinned triumphantly. "I was going to do that anyways, but I got really nervous. Though, I guess if I talk to her that would go away," He sighed happily, "She looked really pretty today...okay. I'm going to go do it!"

I didn't say anything else as he stood up, and left the flat.

"Fuck," I whispered, before becoming surprised at myself. I don't swear very often...but it just kind of came out. I was really creeped out at the moment. How could this confession go well? Hopefully, he won't tell her about the stalking, or he likes to call, 'walking'.

**Your P.O.V**

I heard a knock at my door. Already having a bad day after dropping all my groceries I sighed, before begrudgingly opening the door. To my joy, I was met face to face with Dan, who had a nervous smile on his face. "Dan!" I exclaimed excitedly, before running into him and hugging him tightly. "I missed you! How are you? How is Phil?"

"We're both great, (y/n)." he wrapped his arms around me, and it felt kind of strange for some reason. It was a bit suffocating, the way he hugged me. Maybe it's just because we haven't seen each other in a while? "Though, I have something important to ask you."

"What is it?"

"Well uh...I think you're really great and uh...pretty and really kind and everything...so..." My cheeks flushed scarlet. Is this going where I think it's going? "So," He cleared his throat, before turning to me with a reluctant expression, "Will you...maybe possibly...go out with me?" I stayed silent for a few moments.

I watched as his face went from hopeful to panic. His hands clenched and unclenched, and he pressed his lips together into a thin line.

"Of course I would! I think you're...pretty uh...great yourself?" I questioned, wondering if that came out weird before I felt myself being lifted from the ground and spun around.

"Yes! You said yes!" He yelled with joy, lifting me up by hugging me even higher, before picking me up completely by cradling me.

"Whoa! What are you doing! Put me down you turd!" I screeched with laughter before he began walking down the hall towards his flat. He opened the door, before shouting into the room loudly,

"Phil! She said yes! She said yes!" He yelled, and Phil came running into the room, surprise lacing his features.

"She did? I mean...she did! Wow! I'm so happy for you!" For some reason, his smile seemed...fake. Was he not happy we were going to be together? He must have seen my crestfallen expression, because he walked over, and ruffled my hair. I didn't see the glare Dan shot him as Phil did so.

He smiled down at me, and I smiled back as Dan slowly lowered me to the ground, like he was reluctant to do so. "So where are we going for our first date?" I asked, curious.

"Well, I've never really been in a relationship before so I don't know."

"Oh." I paused. "I've never really been in one either...I mean, I have, but when I was like in middle school so that doesn't really count." I pondered for a moment, before smiling happily. "Oh! We could go somewhere for lunch or something! Food is never bad! Well, sometimes it is, but you know what I mean."

"Sounds like a plan. Tomorrow around noon?"

"Sure!"

"Okay. I'll see you then I guess."

"Bye!"

And I closed the door behind me, smiling at the newfound relationship I was to be a part of. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

Right...?


	8. Chapter 8 - Fans

**Dan P.O.V**

It's been another week, and our relationship is going fantastic. We haven't fought–nothing to fight about–and have been getting closer and closer. I thought of a lot of questionnaire games, because I just want to know everything about her.

I think it's time to introduce her to my channel. I have to let everyone know she's in a relationship with me because I just love her so much.

Okay, so maybe it's a bit early to feel like this, but isn't that normal? It's normal to follow her around anytime I see her go outside. It's _completely_ normal to collect the things she leaves behind. It's not like I'm becoming obsessed or anything.

I'm not. Even if Phil has been worrying about me. It's not like (y/n) has left me so I must be doing something right. She must have _known_ what it would be like to be in a relationship with me. It's not like I'm stalking her; I'm just making sure she's safe.

I've already called her over to film, so I'm really excited. I hope the fans like her a lot, because I do. They just have to like her. I don't know what will happen if they don't. I mean, she's so likeable, but I know they 'ship me with Phil', despite us telling them we're just friends. They may be angry because I'm dating somebody.

I'll just hope they accept her.

I heard a knock on the door, and Phil shouted, "I'll get it!" Before opening the door, and letting (y/n) inside with a few needed 'hellos.

I bent down and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, inviting the sensations I felt whenever I made contact with her. I felt best when I was around her, it was meant to be. Phil looked at me with a calculating gaze, before shaking his head and grabbing the camera.

"I'm so nervous," (Y/n) jittered, "What if I say something stupid?"

"Don't worry, I'm basically the bad life advice giver." I grinned, and she grinned back appreciatively. Phil walked back into the room with his camera, and directed us towards my room where we would be filming. (Y/n) sat in the middle of both me and Phil, smiling nervously. "Alright, let's start..."

_3...2...1..._

**Your P.O.V**

"Hello, internet! So today I have somebody to introduce to you...meet...(y/n)!!!!" He did jazz hands as Phil did the same in my direction. I awkwardly waved with a joyful smile, feeling strange how they so naturally talked to a camera. "So, (y/n) is actually, my girlfriend! And I thought, well, my subscribers already know more than I do about my life, so why not tell them more?" He chuckled, "We've been dating for a while, and she might be in some of our gaming videos...well, if she agrees to it." I looked at him, amused.

"I'm being replaced!" Phil called out, and we both laughed at his antics.

"No Phil, you're still my bestest friend!" Dan cooed.

"(Y/n) also didn't want me to tell you guys, but she has a small art channel by the name of (yt/n)!" I playfully punched Phil as he changed the subject, slightly bitter that he's going to announce that. "So go check her out by clicking here!" He circled my face, and I giggled as he did so. I heard Dan cough, and his lips were in a thin line.

"Yeah...uh...so, this is a short video, but hopefully you guys will get to see more of her on our channels! Because she's pretty great!" We made eye contact, and I smiled gently.

After some more rambling Dan eventually did his outro and turned off the camera. I let out a big sigh and flopped backwards onto the bed. "Tired?" Dan grinned, before laying next to me, and Phil did as well.

"What if they don't like me?"

"Aw, come on, they have to!" Phil encouraged, lifting his arms into the air. "You're a good person, so It'd be their loss if they hated you!" I frowned at the word hate, knowing very well that they won't like me getting between their 'phan' ship. But, no matter what, I would do my best to make our relationship last.

I really like Dan. I really do. I don't think anything about him could scare me away.

"Alright, I'm going to edit this video and then upload it." Dan sat up, before grabbing his computer and connecting the camera with a cord. Phil turned to me, us still laying down, and smiled cheekily.

"Wanna go get ice cream?"

"Definitely!"

**_~after some ice cream and hanging...~_ **

It had been a few hours since we went out, and I was excited, and nervous, to see how the fans reacted to me. I know Dan uploaded the video because he texted me so. Phil was also worried about the reaction to the video.

"They'll like you, I know it." Phil comforted me, but I knew he was saying that to convince himself. After taking the elevator, we walked back to their flat, and slowly opened the door.

"Hello?" I called into the house, "Where'd he go?" I wondered aloud, before beginning to search the house for him. After looking around, I decided to go into his room. The door was closed shut, unlike it was before.

"Dan?" I called softly, opening the door slowly. Looking around his room, I saw nothing, until a flash of black disrupted my vision, and something pulled me into the room with strong force. I let out a yelp of surprise as I was dropped to the ground, but I landed on something. I felt two arms wrap tightly around me, and sniffles as a head buried into the crook of my neck. "Are you okay, Dan?"

"No." His voice was muffled, and I felt his lips move with his words on my neck. I blushed, wanting him to move so we weren't in this compromising position.

"What happened?"

"I'm so sorry."

"Dan?"  
He lifted his head, and moved one arm off of me to grab something, before pulling his phone in front of my face.

"Read."

It was the video he uploaded. First, I watched the video, admiring Dan and how he was so photogenic. After that, I scrolled down.

My heart stopped.

_'Who the fuck is this bitch?'_

_'omg shes so ugly'_

_'Comment chain for them to break up?'_

_'1 like = I dislike for her channel'_

_'unsubscribe from her'_

_'Dan, don't date her, she's just using you for subs!'_

I started crying as I continued to read comments that were worse, some talking about how I should get cancer, or kill myself. Sure, there were occasionally some ones supporting the relationship, but most of them were disheartening. Without thinking I quickly checked my channel.

And my tears started flowing even more.

All my videos had overwhelming amount of dislikes and comments filled with hate. Those twenty thousand subscribers that were my family had disbanded, and left me with none but a few. I continued sobbing as I kept looking, before eventually Dan took away my phone. He wasn't crying anymore.

The atmosphere in this room suddenly became...odd.

"I can't believe my fans did this." He hugged me tighter. "I'm...sad...but I'm so angry."

"Don't be angry," I sniffed. "If they don't like me then they don't like me. I'm sorry that your comments are filled with hate."

"No, no, no, no, no, no, it's not your fault. It's anything but." He turned my head with his hand, meeting his eyes with mine. "I'm angry because of the way their handling this. They basically killed your channel. They ruined your way of making a living. That's why I'm so angry." I felt his breaths become shallow and uneven. Worry held my gaze.

"Dan...it's okay, just calm down, we can handle this."

"No...no this isn't how it was supposed to be. They were supposed to accept you...we were supposed to have a happy relationship with no problems." He breathing quickened, and his arms tightened to the point where it hurt.

"Dan, stop, you're hurting me!"

"This wasn't supposed to happen. Fuck, I'm so sorry this happened." His eyes stared into mine, and I felt my stomach start doing flips at his gaze. "I'm really...really sorry." He breathed, before leaning closer into me.

"Dan you're acting strange."

He closed the close distance between us, and our lips met. My eyes widened in surprise as he began moving his lips on mine. After a few moments I broke out of my shock, and tried to pull away. I didn't want our first kiss to be like this, he wasn't in his right mind.

After a few moments he broke away, panting. I took deep breaths as well, trying to break free of his grip on me. "Are you going to leave me?" He whispered, hurt and tears filling his eyes.

"No! No I'm not. You're just not acting like yourself right now. Here," I hugged him, and began patting his head. "Just let out any emotions you're keeping in. I'll be right here supporting you, Dan." He sniffled, before sobs wracked his body.

"This was supposed to be perfect." He cried out.

"I know, I know, it's okay. We'll be okay." I nodded, continuing to pet his head.

"We'll be okay."


	9. Chapter 9 - Oh no...

 

****Your P.O.V** **

It’s been about two weeks since I was shown to the Youtube world. And honestly, I kind of wish I was never in that video. Since then Dan has been acting fairly depressed, and Phil’s usual bright smile has dimmed.

The hate is affecting everyone. Other Youtubers are making videos about this drama and using it to get views with cheesy clickbait talking about if I was ‘the end of Dan and Phil’, or talking about how ‘the phandom is taking it too far’.

Shaking my head, I wondered how I would find another job. Anywhere I went jobs were filled. If this continued I wouldn’t be able to afford the rent of this apartment. Not wanting to think about it, I made my way out the door, deciding to go shopping for groceries.

While I was walking, I suddenly got shivers up my spine. I spun my head around, only to find nobody there. Instead of continuing on like nothing happened, I felt fear thump in my chest as I began running. Groceries can wait. _Someone was running after me._

I twisted and turned down different roads, until the thumping feet behind me disappeared, and I couldn’t hear anyone behind me anymore. Sighing loudly, I kept walking, looking at the signs to figure out where I was. Should I tell Dan and Phil someone was following me? Maybe not, it’s not like I know who it is so they wouldn’t know either.

“Where the hell even am I?” I looked forward, and saw a large mall. I pulled out my phone to call someone, but my batteries…died. “Fuck.” I groaned, before walking towards the building. Perhaps there would be public phones in there?

I adjusted my sweater and walked in the building, feeling a waft of warm air wash over my body. It felt quite nice, as it was getting colder and colder outside. Surprisingly it hasn’t been raining, which was lucky. But, not like I go out much anyways. I prefer being inside.

And of course, the one time I go outside to get groceries, my battery dies and somebody tried to follow me. Maybe I’m just being paranoid. Yeah, that’s probably it. I was stupid to start running like that without knowing where I was going. But, it really did sound like someone was following me.

After walking around I began window shopping, looking at all the different things and almost splurging on a keychain. But, I had self-control, knowing it was money for groceries.

After looking around for a while I started hearing whispers, almost following me around. After awhile I got fed up with it, and whipped my head around, only to come face to face with casual shoppers.

“I swear to god I heard that. It couldn’t be the same person…could it? No, I lost them. This is new. There were multiple whispers. This was different people.” I mumbled to myself, nerves making my hands shake.

I need to get to that phone.

I fast walked around the mall, looking as fast as I could. Everything was okay, despite my paranoia, until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jumped, almost screaming. I turned around with wide eyes, only to be met with a girl that looked around my age. She had pretty long blonde hair and shiny brown eyes. A look of concern lined her face.

“Are you okay?”

“Y-Yeah…I’m just looking for a public phone…”

“Oh! I know where one is!”

“Really?” I asked, smiling hopefully.

“Yup! Follow me. Hey! Melissa, Victoria, come here!” She called her other two friends, and they walked over. Melissa had curly brown hair with green eyes, and Victoria also had blonde hair, but it was short, and cupper her features and blue eyes. “Where’d you say that public phone was, Melissa?”

“Oh, it’s this way.” For a second I thought I saw a smirk, but it was replaced with a kind smile. I almost raised my brow, but brushed it off. I’m just being paranoid.

They began leading me, two girls on either side of me and Melissa guiding us. I felt nervous for some reason. They were being awfully nice. Maybe they’re just good people? Yeah, maybe they could tell how shaken I am.

“Here we are!” She pointed to a dark little hallway between two stores, and I furrowed my eyebrows.

“Are you su–” I yelled in surprise as I was pushed forward into the small space, and soon after the three girls came in as well.

“I’m surprised we could find you here, especially alone.” The one whom I didn’t knows name came forward, and the other two girls block the exit. My breathing began to pick up. What was happening? Who are they?

“Who are you?” I questioned, confusion muddling my face.

She laughed, grinning as her hand went behind her back. “Oh, you could say I’m…a…number one fan?” She smirked, resting one hand on her hip. My eyes widened in realization.

“Y-You know me, don’t you?”

“Yup!” She popped the ‘p’, “And boy, do I hate you for taking my boyfriend. You can’t just do that, you know?” I backed up. This girl wasn’t in reality.

“Um, but have you met him?”

“Does it matter?” She spat, before taking large steps toward me quickly, “Look, if you love him so much, why aren’t you doing everything you can to be like them?”

“That’s not how it works!” I blurted, breaths becoming shallow. Were the walls closing in? This place is too narrow. She must have noticed me placing my hands on either side of the walls, because she chuckled once again.

“What, claustrophobic? How amazing!” She kept walking toward me, and eventually my back hit a wall. “Here, let me help you be a better girlfriend,” She cooed, before pulling out a sharpie from behind her back.

“What?”

“Stay still!” She said in a jolly voice, before reaching out toward my face. I began thrashing, knowing she was taller than me, but not letting her draw on my face. What was she going to draw? What is this crazy person doing to me? I don’t even know them! They don’t even know me!

Eventually her friends came over and held me still, and she first started on my nose and then my cheeks. I kept shaking my head, and she kept growling in frustration every time I did. “Done!” She exclaimed, before stepping back and examining me. “Perfect, now you have whiskers in a nose, except a lot uglier because it’s you. And because you kept messing me up, so now it’s just a bunch of random sharpie marks on your face.” She shook her head disapprovingly.

I struggled, “Why aren’t you letting me go yet?” I yelled, kicking my feet and trying to break free of the two girls holding me. “You already did what you wanted, right?”

“Hm…you just aren’t quite enough a number one fan…hm…oh! I know!” She sarcastically exclaimed, before my whole face paled and I stopped moving completely.

She was holding scissors.

“You have too much hair at the moment, your (h/l) just doesn’t ‘cut’ it. Get it? Haha!” She laughed, before walking towards me again and lunging at me with the scissors. I tried to fight back, but by doing so she lost control of the scissors and starting meeting them with my skin instead, creating slashes on my face as well as cutting off large, uneven portions of my hair. I sobbed, trying to fight through the pain and embarrassment.

After what felt like forever, they finally dropped me on the ground, where I sit with pieces of my hair scattered around me.

“Tata!”

And they were gone.

I curled into a ball.

I sobbed.

I hate this.

I can’t do this anymore.

****Dan P.O.V** **

I lost her. Shit, I lost her. How was I supposed to know she would run? I’m not the most athletic so how was I supposed to catch up?

Defeated, I walked home, where me and Phil spent the rest of the day watching TV and him editing a video.

At one point I’m pretty sure I heard a knock on the door, but I was too lazy, so instead Phil got up, “Who is it?” He called as he walked towards the door. I heard a muffled reply that sounded like (y/n), so I too stood up and walked toward the door, excited to see her.

“Hey (y/n)–”

…

What…

What the fuck?

“H-Hey guys…”

I began breathing heavily, eyes wide in shock. I backtracked so far I bumped into our kitchen counter, holding onto it for strength. I wanted to speak, to ask what the hell happened, but no words left my mouth.

“(Y/n).” I heard Phil’s voice, but it was so full of concealed anger that it didn’t even sound like him. “Who did this to you?”

And then she started sobbing, _hard_. Her whole body shook as she cried, before crippling to the ground. Her hair was cut in the most uneven way possible, cuts littered her face along with dried blood. Sharpie marks that looked to be…“Whiskers? WHISKERS? A FAN DID THIS?” I screeched, my hands now in my hair pulling as hard as I could.

I panted and I made strange grunting noises as I stumbled and paced about the room. I was so _angry._ I have never felt this much anger in my _life_. My fists clenched and unclenched. “Who was it. _Who the fuck was it_?” I growled, stalking towards her. She looked to distracted by her own crying to say anything. Phil, on the ground next to her, suddenly looked up at me, face blank.

“Grab the camera.”

“What? Right now? Phil, are you fucking crazy?”

“GET THE CAMERA RIGHT NOW!” He yelled, and I probably would have cried from the sheer force of his words if I wasn’t so caught in my own mind. I stomped away and grabbed the camera, before coming back with camera in hand. I had no idea what he was going to do with this.

He grabbed it from my hands, and I noticed that his were _shaking_. No, his whole body was shaking. He must be just as angry as me. I froze when I saw him open the camera, point it at (y/n), and hit record.

“Hey guys, back with another video.” Phil said with fake cheer, still aiming it at the crying (y/n). “I bet you’re wondering, ‘what happened to the girl all the fans hate?’ Well, let me tell you.” He pointed the camera at himself. “Somebody fucking attacked her. And guess who? One of our very fans!” He laughed, before the laughter became darker, and stopped altogether.

“Look, I know not all of you would do this, but you destroyed her way of making a living, surrounded her life with hate, and now,” He pointed the camera back to (y/n), “Somebody amongst you fucking assaulted her. Not just drawing on her face, but cutting her face, and hair, with scissors. You can get arrested for this shit, did you know that?”

All you could hear was (y/n) crying and labored breathing for a few moments, before Phil pointed the camera to the standing me. My fists were clenched and posture stiff. My lips were in a tight line, and eyes narrowed and sharp. I couldn’t even face the camera. I couldn’t even look when I know the people who did this to her are probably going to watch it.

“We’re upset.” I choked out. “Fucking…” I rubbed my face with my hands, sighing loudly. “You know what, goodbye. Phil, shut the camera.” And he did.

I looked to (y/n), unable to rush to her side from the anger building in my body. I’m afraid I would hurt her.

“Guys…” (Y/n)’s voice cracked as she spoke, and my head spun to meet hers. “I can’t do this anymore…”

“W-what do you mean?” I hope she didn’t mean what I thought she meant.

“Obviously the world is against us. Just look at me! I’m damaged mentally and physically, I can’t make a living, and I’m probably going to have to move anyways.”

No. Stop. Stop talking. Don’t say it.

“Dan,”

No, no, please.

“I’m breaking up with you. It’s for yours, and my own good.”

I collapsed to the ground on my knees, eyes wide in shock.

“Let me walk you home,” Phil offered, and the door closed as they both left me alone.

She left me.

She left me.

Sheleftmesheleftmesheleftmesheleftme.

“Haha…haha….hahaAHAHAHAHA!” I burst out into laughter. “We’re meant to be, there's nothing wrong with our relationship. They’re the problem. We need to be together. I need you. I know you love me, you just don’t know it yet.” I grabbed each side of my face, laughter still bubbling inside me.

“One day we’ll have a pretty wedding and I’ll be your everything. We’ll be together forever, we will never ever part. You don’t know it yet, but I’ve already got your heart.”

“What can I do to keep us together?...oh! I know!” I lunged for the camera, not sure he would actually let me upload it because how angry we both were. But they need to see it. Maybe then (y/n) will be back with me.

I giggled as I uploaded it unedited, letting it sync into Youtube and leave a thumbnail of (y/n) and a ‘…’ for the title.

She has to love me.

It’s fate.

I heard the door open as I was looking for my extra camera and walkie–talkie.

“Dan? Why did you upload that?”

I laughed.

Phil doesn’t have to know what I’m doing.

I have a plan.


	10. Chapter 10 - I'm Not Crazy

**Chapter 10**

**Your P.O.V**

I'm getting scared. It's been a week since I stopped seeing Dan and stopped hanging out with Phil, and around that same time I've been noticing strange things happening.

It was tolerable at first. Like occasionally I would hear footsteps in my house, and items disappearing. At night, I would hear clicking sounds and see a red light in my room, but in the morning I wouldn't be able to find where those sounds, or where the light was coming from. It was freaking me out, but now it's worse.

My clothing has been disappearing, and I know I'm not imagining it anymore, because the necklace I _always wear_ is _gone._ I never take it off. I _never_ do. How did it disappear? Where did it go? My brain was jumping to all different types of conclusions, like I'm being forgetful, or I'm losing stuff.

But yesterday, I saw a shadow outside of my window for a split second when I was in my room, and I almost screamed in shock. I know what I saw.

I'm not crazy. Someone is stalking me and breaking into my home.

I would go straight to Dan and Phil if it wasn't for the fact that I haven't talked to them since that day. I haven't even checked their channel to see if they're okay. I'm off of Youtube altogether.

I wonder if Dan misses me...

**Dan's P.O.V**

Phil is worried about me. He says I'm being creepy but I'm just showing my love. It's the only way I can right now because she's avoiding us.

She hasn't even left her house since. Poor her, she's probably terrified of people assaulting her. Because of that, she has scars on her face that are very visible because she must not have treated them well enough.

It's two in the morning and I'm sitting on my computer screen with my eyes wide, watching while curled up in a blanket cocoon. I also have my walkie-talkie next to me and my polaroid camera.

I'm fine.

The day she...uh...broke up with...hm...The day the fans tore us apart I invited myself into her home and installed a hidden camera and walkie-talkie, so I could keep her safe. It's completely normal for me to do this of course.

I also have like, a million polaroid's with dates from taking pictures whenever she looks adorable on the camera screen, or the rare times I would be able to get a more live picture from her window. I'm not a perv or anything, I don't watch her change, I just want to make sure nobody breaks into her home.

There was also some clothing that weren't good enough for her, so I decided to get rid of them for her. And that necklace she always wears...

I'm wearing it right now.

At that thought, I returned my worried gaze to the awake (y/n), who for some reason was awake at this time of night. I wanted to go over and comfort her, but Phil wouldn't let me. He even started sleeping in the living room so he could watch me and make sure I don't do anything rash.

I mean, what would I do? I'm not a threat to her. I'm protecting her.

"Dan, are you awake?"

"No." I groaned, knowing he was going to come inside no matter what I said, even if I stayed quiet. He opened the door, and before I could hide the polaroid's or close my computer screen he ran over, catching me off guard. He had turned the light on and was able to see exactly what I was doing.

"Dan."

"What?"

"What the hell are you doing."

"I'm not doing anything wrong!" I defended, scrambling to pick up my polaroid's so he wouldn't take them from me.

"You're crazy, Dan, this isn't you."

"This is me! And I'm not crazy!" I protested, "This is what people do when you're in love, right? What else would you do, just let people ruin your relationship? She loves me, Phil, I know it!"

"Bloody hell...Did she tell you that?"

"No! She just doesn't know it yet! We're meant to be together, Phil!"

"It's out of hand, Dan. You're obsessed with her!"

"I'm not! This is normal! This is completely normal! I'm just really in love, haven't you felt this way before?"

"W-well..." He scratched the back of his head, "I k-kind of like (y/n)...but I don't think to the point that you do!"

"You still like her?"

"I-I...I mean...yes?"

I stared at him. He...likes her?

"You're not allowed to. She was made for me, not you."

"D-Dan, you're being unreasonable."

"Of course I'm not. I know it! We're soulmates, two puzzle pieces connecting perfectly together. We will be together forever."

"Do soulmates do _THIS_?" He yelled as he stepped backwards, bumping into my closet. I stood up immediately, lunging for him. He can't open those doors. He just _can't._ I grabbed him and pushed him away from the doors, and pressed my back to it, breath labored, eyes wide and pupils constricted.

"Dan...what is in there?"

"NOTHING! GO AWAY!" I boomed, and I saw him flinch. Tears pricked the edges of my eyes as he walked forward. "You can't see! Go away! It's mine! It's all my stuff!" He didn't seem to buy it as he stomped forward and began prying me away from the door. I kicked and screeched like a wild animal, doing anything I could to keep him away from it.

To my dismay he eventually threw me to the ground, panting in exhaustion. I cursed myself for being so week and made a vow to fix that. When he swung the doors open I felt myself cry out in protest, not wanting him to see anything inside.

"DAN! YOU'RE INSANE!" He yelled.

"I don't see the problem!" I objected. Along the doors were the many polaroids with dates written in red pen, stuck on in an orderly fashion. Inside was folded female clothing and random items from coins to shoes on top.

"You don't see the problem? YOU DON'T SEE THE PROBLEM?"

"Stop yelling Phil! You're scaring me!"

"Scaring you? You're scaring me! Dan, I'm afraid now if I even leave you alone for a second you'll kidnap her or something! You're completely obsessed!"

"I'm not! This is normal! I'm completely normal. You just can't see the extent of our bond."

"Your one sided bond?"

My eye twitched.

"No...she loves me. She loves me. She does!"

"Are you sure about that?"

I froze.

"Y-yeah."

"You don't sound like it. If she hasn't said it, then she doesn't."

"B-but I know she thought it!"

"What, are you a mind reader?"

"Y-you don't understand."

"No, I do perfectly. You're delusional, Dan. If she did why is she avoiding you?"

My breath picked up.

"S-she just...she...it's the fans fault! She didn't break up with me!"

"She did. She said it herself!"

My hands twitched, my whole body tense and shaking.

"Stop talking."

"Nope. Not until you get this into your head. She broke up with you. She didn't say she loves you. If she found out about this she would never be with you-"

"aaaAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" I screamed as loudly as I could, plugging my ears with my hands and shaking my head back and forth quickly.

But he didn't stop talking.

"She would be disgusted. She wouldn't ever want to be with you. _You must not be meant for each other._ "

I stopped.

"...." I whispered.

"What did you say?"

"...you..."

"What? What is it now?"

"...you're trying to break us apart...aren't you?"

"Huh?"

"People are manipulating you...yeah..." I connected the pieces together, "Of course, why else would you say these things that you don't mean?"

"Dan! I do mean these things! Please listen to me!"

"It's okay, Phil, I can help you if you just tell me who's manipulating you!"

" _Dan! She will **never love you!**_ "

...

...

...

"Haha...ha..."

...

...

...

"Phil is being unreasonable...Dan needs to wake Phil up...yeah...I need to wake him up..."

"Dan, I'm going to call somebody, this is out of hand. I'm beyond worried."

"No, you're not going to do anything."

I rushed forward, hands outstretched.

I felt my fingers tighten around his esophagus. I felt him struggling. I felt him begging. I felt him thrashing. I felt him gasping. I felt him going limp.

Silence.

I smiled.

Then I frowned.

Then I bent down.

Then I checked his pulse.

Then I screamed.


	11. Chapter 11 - Stay

 

**Your P.O.V**

I need to tell Dan and Phil about this. I found a fucking _camera_ in my room. Somebody has been watching me.

I'm terrified. They're my only friends, they will know how to help me. I want to call the police but I don't know if I have enough proof.

I quickly left the flat and rushed to their room, hesitating for a moment before knocking on the door.

But nobody came.

I knocked and knocked, and eventually got impatient. "Dan, Phil, it's me! Please let me in! I'm really scared!" After I spoke I heard loud thumps, and the door opened in one big swing. I looked up and was face to face with Phil, who was breathing heavily and had strange purple marks around his neck.

"You have to leave. Now."

"B-But..." Tears sprung to my eyes, and I felt distraught and hurt.

"Dan isn't...he's not okay right now. I don't want him to see you."

"What? What's wrong? Can I help? You know, I still really like him...and I was thinking maybe me breaking up with him was too rash-"

"Oh god...why did you say that...?"

"(Y/n)? I knew you didn't really want to break up with me!" I saw Dan, who quickly pushed past Phil and wrapped his arms around my body. "I was so sad when the fans did that because I knew I'd never find someone like you again."

"D-Dan, Phil, I came here for a reason."

"What is it?"

"I have a stalker."

**Phil's P.O.V**

Oh god, why did she have to come here? Especially after what Dan did to me last night. I'm afraid if I do anything to get in his way he'll do it again. At the moment I'm not even worried about myself, because when I saw (y/n)'s scared expression I knew she was going to tell us about a 'stalker'.

How the hell do I explain that it's Dan?

"I have a stalker." Her lips trembled said, and I noticed Dan clenching onto her tightly.

"You...what?"

"I-I found a camera in my room, my stuff has been disappearing...I'm really scared." Dan slowly guided her to the couch, and for a split second, I only saw complete anger in his eyes.

Wait...does he know the stalker is him? Oh no. He's completely lost touch with reality. He thinks somebody else is stalking her, doesn't he?

"(Y/n), I care so much about you, and I want to do anything in my power to protect you. I don't think you should stay in your home if you found a _camera_." He seemed disgusted at the thought of someone watching her.

Yup. He's crazy. My flatmate is insane. I need to call somebody...but I just can't bring myself to do that to my best friend.

"I'm so scared...what if they plan on kidnapping me or something?"

"(Y/n)...I don't know if you'll agree...but I don't think you're safe enough to be alone in your own home. Would you like to stay here? We have a blow-up mattress you could use."

"Really? Would you really let me do that? Are you sure? I wouldn't want to intrude or anything."

"Phil? Do you have a problem with it?" Dan looked to me.

Bloody hell. He almost killed me before when I just _mentioned_ them not being meant for each other to wake him up, if I say no now me, and possibly (y/n) might be in danger. I guess I'll just have to play along.

"Of course not, I just want to make sure my close friends safe!" Crap, wait, will Dan get angry at me for implying that we're close? I made eye contact with him, and his eyes seemed to be questioning me.

"Oh my gosh, thank you both, so, so, much!" She sighed in relief, before hugging Dan tightly. When I looked at Dan's expression as she did so, I kind of wished I couldn't see. A large smile stretched across his face, and he slowly wrapped his arms back around her, delight shining in his eyes.

She makes him _way_ too happy.

**_~ hours later~_ **

It was in the middle of the night, and I just can't go to sleep. (Y/n) is sleeping in the living room, and I'm worried about her. I was about to fall asleep when I heard footsteps walking down the hall, and past my room. Without making a sound I rose to my feet and opened my door as quietly as I could.

Peeking down the hall, I made out a shadowy figure standing in the doorway of the living area. Blinking, I narrowed my eyes and saw that it was, in fact, Dan. After he stood there for a while I noticed a small object in his hand that looked to be...a camera? Is he-

I heard a snap, then reeling noises, the sounds a _polaroid_ camera would make. "Oh, Dan..." I whispered, shaking my head. After he took a few more photos I had finally had enough and made my way into the living area, watching his crouched body stiffen as I stood behind him. I snatched the camera out of his hand, the photo he just took still sticking out the bottom.

(Y/n) was sleeping peacefully, her hair sprawled out like a sunflower beneath her head. For a moment, I admired it, then reeled in shock when I did so. What the hell Phil? Snap out of it! There's an actual issue with your best friend.

"Dan," I sighed out.

"Phil, go away. You're going to wake her up. She's so peaceful like this...photos of the computer screen were never as good as this."

"If you keep doing this I'm going to call somebody."

"You wouldn't." I raised a brow at his words.

"Oh? Are you doubting me?"

"No," He shrugged, and I tilted my head in confusion. "We just have a lot of kitchen knives; you know? So I'm not that worried."

I almost threw up right then and there.

"I'm already pretty pissed off that someone has been stalking her, so you should be surprised that I haven't lashed out."

"Dan, are you actually an idiot?"

"So now you're insulting me?"

"No, don't you realize? You're the stalker! Nobody else installed a camera and a walkie talkie! Nobody else stole her clothes! And nobody else stole her necklace!"

His brown eyes almost glowed in the night as he stared at me, staying so still I thought he wasn't breathing. "Oh." He simply says. "Oh..." He repeats. "That would make sense...huh? Haha..." His voice sounded so broken, so sad and distraught. "I was kind of trying to ignore it...you know? I figured this whole time what I was doing wasn't normal, I just thought If I kept saying it was then...it would be."

I was to shocked to say a word. In front of me, in front of (y/n), he was becoming slowly aware of the gravity of what he has been doing. I watched as he looked down to his hand that was holding the images of her. He was shaking. "I...I didn't mean to...okay? It just got out of hand...please don't...please don't be scared of me..."

"Dan," I crouched down by his side, wanting to know the turmoil happening inside his mind so I could help him get out of it.

"Phil I didn't mean for it to get to this point...I just...I just felt happier than I ever did, and everything that has to do with her makes me happy. Is it so wrong just to want more of that? I-I can't just let t-t-that g-go, Phil..." By the end of his sentence, he was sobbing. He dropped all the photos onto the ground and collapsed on his side, hiccupping along with his tears.

"I love her...so...so much, Phil. I can't...I can't..."

"You can't?" I urged, rubbing his back. It hurt me to see him in so much pain.

"I can't let it go."

"I know Dan, I know. It's okay that you feel this way, everyone does when they're in love. You just feel it differently, a little more extreme, and you do some more...rash things. But it's okay, I'm here to listen."

"I just can't let go, Phil."

"I know, Danny, I know."

"I just..."

"I know."

"I can't..."

"It's okay."

"I _can't let you get in the way._ "

I froze, and slowly lifted my hand from his back.

" _I can't let anyone get in the way._ "

"Dan, stop, you're falling back into that scary loop, okay? Snap out of it."

" _I won't let go._ "

"Dan, stop it! Wake up! I'm here! (Y/n) is here! There is nothing keeping you apart!"

" _I...I...I........"_ He stopped talking. "I'm sorry." He repeated. "I'm so, so sorry."

"It's okay, you may be a little scary but that's not keeping me away from my best friend."

"Good." Suddenly, the crying stopped, and his head slowly turned to meet mine, eye to eye. "Because I wouldn't let you leave, either."

I blinked.

"Huh?"

 

 


	12. Chapter 12 - Bad Luck

**Chapter 12**

**Your P.O.V**

It's been two weeks since I've been living with Dan and Phil, and I still remember the day we checked the video Dan for some reason posted...probably in blind anger? I'm not sure. I think he regrets it?

Youtube had exploded in drama once it was posted, fans reaching out and apologizing and my channel once again growing, but mostly just because they felt bad for me. None of us have uploaded since, and I was still relatively scared of going outside, and so was Dan, and Phil. I never realized how protective Dan was.

If I was out of his sight for even a second, he would start calling my name in worry. I didn't mind, though. He's been through a lot too, and what happened to me was really scary and could have shaken them both.

So, that's why I feel really bad right now, sneaking out to go get groceries as a thanks. They've been taking care of me without complaining, so I decided the least I could do was go to the store really close to us.

Well, it was a good idea in hindsight, but I just kind of attract bad luck, you know? Sure, this time no fans came out and attacked me, but there was this really pushy person following me around the store, despite me exclaiming that I had a boyfriend multiple times. He was making me uncomfortable and I knew I couldn't trust the situation, so I grabbed my phone–charged this time–and filmed him.

He noticed.

"Think a camera will scare me away, babe?"

"No," I shrugged, "You're just really annoying so I'm going to show this to the police that you're harassing me."

"What the fuck? A little bitch like you wouldn't do that, I know you're attracted to me." He flexed, and I gagged.

"Gross. Please go away. You're not nearly tall enough to be my type."

"Excuse me? The fuck you say to me?"

"You're also ugly. And creepy."

He lunged at me, and I quickly dodged to the side, thankful for my reflexes. Somehow, situations were much less scary in a public setting. He smirked, thinking he scared me, but I only grinned in return.

I got him trying to attack me on film. That's all I needed. I'll just edit everything out but that portion and report him.

Now, the only problem was trying to get past him. "Look, I already got you attempting to attack me on tape, so unless you want to get in more trouble, back up, and let me go." I lifted my chin, not intimidated by this boy, who looks no older than eighteen.

He didn't say a word, and I walked forward, thinking that meant he was giving up. That is until he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back. I winced, realizing his was gripping a little too hard for my liking. "Bitch, you're not getting off so easily, give me the camera or else I'll–"

"Help! Help! This man is attacking me! Help!" I screeched, and only after a few moments people in the store had surrounded the situation and witnessed him grabbing me and threatening me. I hid my smirk, knowing I had won.

"Fuck you!" He yelled at me, before lifting his hand. My eyes widen as I was struck across the cheek, and tears stung in my eyes. Boy, he was weak. That barely even hurt. Something's caught in my eye.

I used the fake tears to my advantage and started sobbing, pretending to be extremely hurt. I must have done it well because people pulled me away from him and called the police. He ran away.

I thanked all the workers and bystanders for helping with the situation, and they gave me a complimentary basket of fruit for the 'scarring' event. Sure, I wasn't really as scared as I pretended to be, but I was extremely thankful for how they handled the situation.

Though, when I checked on my phone I noticed there was a red handprint on my cheek, my eyes were swollen from the fake crying, and my wrist was purple. Well, shit. Dan and Phil will _not_ react well to this.

Hopefully, they'll listen to my story and understand. Yeah, they will.

When I arrived home they didn't react the way I thought they would. After I showed them the video and explained how I was faking most of it, they both were still livid. Dan immediately rushed me to the bathroom and dumped water and soap where I was touched, mumbling about how I was 'contaminated' by the boy's touch. He handled me like I was a porcelain doll, tearing up when he saw my bruised wrist.

"Hey, it really didn't hurt that badly. I handled it."

"You really do attract bad luck, don't you?"

"Yeah..." I hung my head, embarrassed.

"Well, I know how to fix that!"

"How?"

"You're not going anywhere alone anymore."

"What." I blinked.

"I've been working out, (y/n)! I can protect you! And stop fucking scum of the earth from laying their disgusting hands on you. I feel like if too many of them touch you, I won't be able to anymore. We can't have that!" He laughed at the end, and I raised my eyebrow. Okay, so maybe Dan wasn't the most _normal_ person in how he handled things. But I still loved him–

WHAT. When did I start loving him? My whole face flushed scarlet, and Dan looked at me questioningly. I just shook my head, trampling the butterflies in my stomach. No, not now (y/n), not now.

Hm...

Where's Phil?

**Phil's P.O.V**

I breathed in, then out. In, then out, ten more times.

I read on a website this was supposed to calm anger.

But, it's not really working.

I clenched my fists then unclenched them, narrowing my eyes. She's not safe out there, she attracts too many bad people. Or...is everyone really bad but hiding behind a façade? It's hard to tell.

It was strange feeling this way. Usually, I'm very trusting of people and welcoming. But when it comes to (y/n) ...my emotions seemed to be multiplied tenfold.

I was too heated for my own good.

I needed some fresh air.

The boy had shaggy black hair. Blue eyes. Acne.

I remember very vividly what he looks like. It's hard to forget.

Whenever people walked past I smiled brightly, politely stepping out of anyone's way. On the inside, I felt my own emotions pecking at my heart and making it beat in my head. I sighed softly, brushing my feet against the ground.

What am I going to do with this feeling? I've never had it before.

How...do I get rid of it?

I thought for a moment before I tilted my head. Dan said when he touched (y/n) or did something for her all his anxieties faded away or channeled into something.

What if I...?

**No.**

I couldn't.

But...

Hm.

That'd be terrible if I did...channeling anger in that way...

Even Dan said he'd never do something as drastic–

I'm not Dan, though. I can do what I want.

I just need to tell myself it's for (y/n) because it is! I'm not doing anything wrong. I mean, maybe I'm just crazy, or maybe I have a disease. I don't want to do any terrible things. It seems like the whole worlds against her. Maybe I just need to tell the world to back off.

Yeah, that's what I'll do.

What I'm going to do is **not wrong.**

Haha...

I wonder if she could love someone like me?  
  



	13. Chapter 13 - Phil...

**Your P.O.V**

It was reported on the news. That boy that attacked me...he apparently disappeared. I was stunned, not sure what to think. Was it a coincidence? Or...just bad luck on his side? Maybe it was karma? I don't wish bad things upon others, so I felt kind of bad, especially since I know when someone goes missing...

They're usually dead.

"He deserved it." I heard Dan mutter under his breath, and I shot him a scolding look.

"You shouldn't say that!" I scowled, slapping his arm. He pouted, pushing out his bottom lip as he scooted closer to me.

"B-but he hurt you!" He seemed genuinely sad that I didn't agree with his words. "A-and I wasn't there to protect you..." I blushed. Is that why he said something so bitter? Because he was guilty himself?

"Dan, you can't always protect me, you know."

"That's true. Hey! Phil! Can you help me protect (y/n)?"

"Hm?" Phil looked up, eyes distracted by the TV. Maybe he was affected by the disappearance, I mean, he is such a ray of sunshine, so I wouldn't put it past him to take up other people's grief and sorrow. "Oh yeah, sure!" He smiled, before turning back to his tea.

"Hey, I'm not some little doll, I can protect myself!"

"I know you can," Dan grinned, "But that doesn't mean I can't protect you. I can protect you from...other things."  
"Like what?" I tilted my head.

"Oh...nothing."

I was going to question him but decided it was better not to. Sometimes Dan could be really confusing, and it's hard to know what he's thinking in that mind of his.

I wonder what he's thinking now?...

**Dans P.O.V**

That guy deserved it but...it's kind of a coincidence that he died the same day that happened to (y/n). I mean, technically he's not _dead_ but you know, he probably is.

Could it have been...?

I turned my head around to stare at Phil, who was calmly drinking his tear while staring down at his phone.

It couldn't. Right?

Phil looked up and made eye contact, and for a split second, I saw the corner of his lip quirk up. My eyes widened.

Did he really...?

"Take a picture, it lasts longer." (Y/n) murmured, and I stiffened at her words. "Get it? Cus' you guys are staring at each other?"

"Haha...yeah." I forced a laugh, nerves clenching around my throat. Oh god. Oh god does she know? Does she know what I've been doing? What I've done? I-I can't tell her ever, because then she'll leave.

She can't leave. **Ever.**

In the corner of my eye I saw Phil waving around my polaroid camera, and I felt my heart stop. What the fuck was he doing? "Hey, Phil, can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

" _Privately_." I strained a smile, clenching my teeth.

"Sure, _Danny_."

Oh my god.

We walked into my room, ignoring the confused stares of (y/n). I was too busy focused on what the hell Phil was doing that I didn't even realize I left her alone.

I closed the door, before whipping around and taking long strides toward Phil, who was only smiling gently at me. "What are you doing?!" I hissed, but he only smiled wider.

"I want to make a deal."

"A deal?"

"Yes. I want to share."

"What could you possibly mean by that?"

"(Y/n). I love her. I want us to share her."

I froze. My breathing became labored and uneven.

"W-what are you implying?"

"Well, you did say you wouldn't let me leave, so wouldn't this be easier? Plus, since I can already touch you I won't be contaminating her, and we'll be able to protect her together! Two is better than one."

"Are you fucking insane? No way in hell would I do that. She's mine! Plus, you're too much of a wimp to do anything anyways. Your too nice, you have to be able to push past anything, because only she matters."

"Well, I expected you to react this way. That's why I took initiative and did an act even you couldn't do, because you _can't touch people._ I'm not crippled, so I could be extra, much needed help. Because even though you work out now, it's not like you could fist fight someone, right?"

"Tch." I grunted, "And what do you mean an act I couldn't do? I've done everything!...wait, you don't mean–"

"Yup."

"Holy shit. Holy...oh my god." I began hyperventilating, thoughts speeding through my mind faster then I could comprehend. "Something isn't right with you, Phil. That's messed up, and so unlike you. Even _I_ , I wouldn't be able to _fucking_ ** _murder_** _someone!_ "

"Well, something isn't quite right with me. I just can't seem to let you too be in a happy relationship of two. I love her too, so it isn't fair."

"Fair? _Fair?_ You're kidding! You stole somebodies life!"

"You didn't have sympathy for them, though."

"I–"

"You must not be a good enough fit for her if you can't do _anything_ for her. I literally can do the most condemned act on earth just to protect her. But you? You can't. You both need me! And if that's not enough to convince you..." He smiled, pulling some polaroid's out of his pocket. It only took me a second to know what he was getting at.

"You're blackmailing me? How could you?"

"How could you force me to stay away from her?"

I stepped forward, as did he. I clenched my fists.

He pulled out a knife from behind his back.

My eyes widened. My body quivered without my permission. Was I afraid of Phil? The cinnamon roll of the internet? I have strangled him before.

I can do it again. I still see the faded marks around his neck, perfectly pinpointing the places I would go for again.

"If you don't agree, even with this dirt I have on you...well...hehe..." He twirled the knife, eyes wide and pupils constricted. "I'll just have to rid you before you get the guts to kill me too." He chuckled, taking another step forward.

"I-If we work together..." I stammer, "H-How about we make a compromise? I-I'll be the lover, and you can be the closest friend you can be and...I'll...I'll let you be near her...I'll...I'll..." I sniffed, scared shitless by Phil's behavior. Was he this scared when I strangled him? I'm sorry if he was.

"Hm..." He spun around, pacing around the room slowly, gliding his feet across the carpet as his eyes lolled side to side in thought. "You know what, maybe my love is platonic? I'm not sure. I've never felt these emotions before."

If I had a weapon...

"Okay. For you, Dan, I'll agree to those conditions."

I smiled nervously, teeth slightly chattering.

"Well, we better get back to (y/n)!"

"Yeah," I rubbed the back of my head, watching as he tucks away the knife and walks out the door, ruffling my hair as he left.

I stood, stunned at the situation, not knowing what to think of it. What am I going to do? Now I have to share her?

Fuck.


	14. Chapter 14 - Help me.

**Your P.O.V**

"Well, if I can't get food, one of you two have too, or we'll all starve."

"Aw. That's not fair! But...nose goes!"

"Damn it Phil! I'm the one with crippling anxiety. Here, (y/n), come with me!" Dan whined while Phil made a face at him.

"Just avoid people. I know you've been out plenty before." Dan glared at Phil, and I wondered what he was referring to. Doesn't he barely go outside? "Man up, Dan! I believe in you!" Phil pressed, pushing him towards the door.

Eventually, after some arguing, Dan eventually left. I sighed, slightly missing him when he's gone. I turned my head to the TV and grabbed the remote, flipping through random channels without any interest.

"Do you love him?"

"AH!" I squealed, not realizing Phil was so close behind me. He had a knowing smile on his face, urging me to answer. "W-well...what do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb, I'm asking you a question." He teased, "So, do you love Dan or not?"

"I-I...I don't know!" I puffed out my cheeks, turning to the side as my cheeks flushed. Why was he asking me this? "H-How should I know that? Are there signs or something? And why are you even asking this?"

"To protect my friend of course, if you don't love him then why continue the relationship? He loves you, you know."

"H-He does?" I stammer, eyes wide. He...loves me? A large smile stretches across my face, and I laugh in delight. "He loves me! Oh, my god! I think I do love him back, Phil! Oh my gosh, this is such a realization for me! Ah! I'm so excited to tell him!"

"I love you too, (y/n)."

"Um. What?" I blinked.

"As a friend of course."

"Oh...hahaha...of course! I love you too, Philly, as a friend." I awkwardly grin, almost misunderstanding him. Wouldn't that be funny?

I look to the side, disbelieving what's happening. I can't believe Dan loves me! And I can't believe I made such a friend as Phil! I'm so lucky, and I can't believe it. Our relationships are basically perfect.

It's like nothing's wrong with the two of them.

**Dan's P.O.V**

I looked side to side, nerves jittering. I was never this nervous when I was following (y/n), so I don't know why I am now. Is it because she's not here? Pushing my screaming thoughts aside I burst into the store, shuffling into the sections that I needed to get to.

As I was walking, I must not have been looking, because some random girl shoved into me, before shouting a 'Excuse you!'.

I breathed. In, then out. In, then out. Without thinking I ran into the store's public bathroom, bile rising in my throat. Quickly I locked the door, before collapsing onto the ground as the world swirled around me. Black spots dotted my vision, and noises echoed in my ears. I crawled over to the toilet, lifting my head over it, then throwing up.

I was always sensitive to touch. But this is...so much worse. This girl wasn't who I wanted it to be. I couldn't even pretend it was.

I started sobbing, curling up into a ball and rocking back and forth, comforting myself as best as I could by whispering comforting phrases. "(Y/n) ...help me...where are you...?" I cried, curling my hands into fists. I needed her.

Where is she? Why can't I see her?

Where am I?

Why am I so alone?

...

I can't breath.

Without thinking I pulled out my phone, forgetting every other contact but one. I clicked on it, not knowing why or how I did so. "Dan?" The voice that came back was soothing and gently, but also strong.

"...h-help..."

"Dan? Are you okay?"

"...sick...are you...the hospital?"

"Um, no, Dan, this is me, (y/n). Are you okay? Why do you need a hospital? Did somebody touch you? I thought you just get panic attacks? Did somebody hurt you. Dan, please answer I'm worried!"

I bent over the toilet and threw up again, sweat coating my body.

"so...not hospital...oh... _oh_...I'm sorry...this is a sign I should not have called..."

"Dan! Don't you know me? Dan, it's your girlfriend, (y/n)! Please, tell me what's wrong!"

"strong reaction...never like this before...can't think..."

"Dan, please... _please_ tell me what's wrong?"

"don't know on personal level...no one loves me...nobody cares..."

"Phil! Dan isn't okay!"

"...I do not matter..."

"No, no no no, Dan, you matter so much to me."

"...not normal...I've done bad things..."

"No Dan, wait, I lo–"

I dropped the phone, strength leaving.

**Your P.O.V**

"No. No. No. No." I immediately called back, but it just kept ringing. Tears gathered in my eyes as I wondered what could have possibly happened. Phil explained to me the symptoms but he never said anything was _this_ bad.

Did something happen that made it worse?

" _Please leave a message after the–"_

"Fuck! Phil! I'm going to go find Dan!" I ignored any of his words and left the house after grabbing a jacket, shuffling it over my shoulders as I ran down the hallway. I pulled out my phone and quickly texted him, praying for a reply.

_(Y/n):_

_Dan, please tell me you're there!_

He didn't reply. I ran down the stairs as fast as I could, bursting out the building and speeding down the side walk, narrowly avoiding people and their glares of disapproval.

_(Y/n):_

_Where are you!?_

_Dan:_

_In the middle of nowhere._

"He replied...thank god." I gasped for breath, definitely not in shape to be running for such a long period of time. I slowed down, not wanting to text and run.

_Dan:_

_are you trying to find out where i am_

I kept walking, reading over each word. It's like he doesn't know who I am anymore. Is temporary amnesia a side effect?...

_Dan:_

_im trying to remember but I dont_

_(Y/n):_

_I know where you are, I'm coming, please wait for me._

He didn't reply.

_Dan:_

_13902 sounds right for adress_

_but 3 seems lonely_

_3 should get together with another number_

_or a letter_

_maybe the letter a_

_a seems lonely_

Is he distracting himself? I don't reply, just hoping he stays oblivious to what he's feeling until I get there.

_Dan:_

_its lonely like me_

_(Y/n):_

_Dan, I'm here for you. You won't be lonely in a little bit._

_Dan?_

_Dan are you okay?_

_Please reply._

_Dan:_

_sorry i black out what did u say_

I sniffed, nearing my destination.

_Dan:_

_oh wait i can scroll up_

_so much white_

_before i die_

_(Y/n):_

_Die? Dan, why would you ever want to die?_

_Dan:_

_im so lonely that I feel like im dying_

_if u feel like ur dying dont u die?_

_im tired of waking up to no one_

_cant touch no one_

_seeing no one_

_i guess im talking to you now_

_(Y/n):_

_Yes! I'm here! I'm here, I can talk to you and be near you!_

_Dan:_

_but youll leave_

_like everyone else does_

_everyone gets tired of my handicap_

_or youll die_

_that can happen_

_haha_

_(Y/n):_

_I promise I won't leave you._

_Dan:_

_i have no idea whats going on_

_im_

_(Y/n):_

_Dan, I'm almost there. I'm so close._

_Dan:_

_im only close to the space around me_

I entered the store, heaving with worry. Where is he? I started marching around the store, asking people if they've seen a tall lanky man with brown hair and eyes. Nobody knows where he is.

_(Y/n):_

_I'm in the store where are you?_

_Dan:_

_notmakingsense_

_(Y/n):_

_Dan just tell me where you are! Are you in the back? The front!?_

_Dan:_

_icantbreath_

_help me_

_help_

_(Y/n):_

_Danny please, please tell me. What's around you? I'm going to call a hospital or the police._

_Dan:_

_helpme_

_cantbreath_

_help_

I call him again.

He picked up.

All I heard was choking and sobbing sounds from over the phone.

"Dan please! Oh my god...where are you!" Eventually I had gathered people around the store to find him. Everyone was frantically looking around. Someone told me they bumped into him with a bitter gaze, and I held myself back from lunging at her. Karma would catch her.

But at the moment all I heard from the phone was strangled breathing from him.

I called the police.

"The bathroom is locked!" Somebody yelled, and I immediately bolted toward that door as I gave the policemen the place, and hung up as they promised to come help right away.

We began banging on the door as I heard choked sobs come from behind it. "Dan! It's me! I'm here! I'm here for you! Please unlock the door..." I started crying, banging my hand on the door, before backing up and ramming into it, doing whatever I could to get through.

Why did the door have to be heavy and large and not tattered and easily breakable?

After a few agonizing moments police men were around me, pulling me away from the doors as I was now bruised from hitting into it too much.

After a few moments the door burst open, and what I saw would bring tears to my eyes every time I thought of it.

Dan was lying on the ground, quivering and gasping for air, hands tangled in his hair desperately pulling. I could see the sweat dripping down his skull as he struggled to breath. Pushing past the men I fell to the ground in front of him, putting my hand on his forehead and flinching at the heat.

"Hey...I'm hear now..." I whispered gently, before wrapping my arms around his torso and lifted him against the wall, pushing his legs down to open his lungs.

"w-who...you.......(y-y-y/n)..." His eyes barely open, half lidded, as his hands twitched. "y-you...came..." I nodded at his scratchy words, embracing him with every bit of emotion I could muster.

"Dan..." I brushed my fingers through his hair, making his hands release, and fall by his sides. I continued petting him as the police walked, calling an ambulance just in case. "Dan, I know this a weird time, but I just want you to know...that I...I really do love you." His eyes widened, and in those next few moments his breathing picked up, and I immediately regretted saying that, as he was struggling even more now.

"I-I...l-love you too...(y/n)..." He lifted his hand, shaking, and brushed my hair behind my ear. "n-never leave me...like the others do... _p-please..._ " He begged, and I only sniffed, hugging him harder and whispering sweet nothings in his ear, rubbing his back as I comforted him.

"Of course, I'll always be here for you."

If only I knew the weight my words had carried.


	15. Chapter 15 - Territory

**Your P.O.V**

Right now me, Dan, and Phil were in a relaxing movie marathon. And I had absolutely _no_ idea what we were watching, mostly focused on comforting poor Dan after what he experienced earlier today. The police were going to take him to the hospital, but after I explained his anxiety and they just brought us back to the flat, which I was thankful for.

Dan couldn't walk a few steps without tripping over his own feet or collapse out of weakness, so I half carried him into the elevator–ignoring the claustrophobia–and brought him into the living area then helped him sit on the couch.

Did I mention he was crying the whole time? No? Well, he was. I felt _so_ bad, and no matter what I said he wouldn't stop. I began cuddling him on the couch, brushing my fingers through his hair for who knows how long. Eventually, Phil came home...I wonder when he left? Anyways, he came and had a strange gleam in his eyes. He seemed...emotionless? But after a second a worried frown pulled his lips down.

I remember him asking about what happened, and I gave all the details. Whenever Dan would try to add something I would shush him softly, because when he tried to speak it came out as a stuttering mess and didn't make sense.

Phil smiled with sympathy, before sitting down next to me on the couch. He tried to reach out and ease Dan, but Dan reacted harshly, recoiling backward into the couch to avoid Phil's hand. My eyes widened in surprise as Dan gripped me harder. He whispered something I just couldn't quite make out.

"What'd you say?" I murmured, doing my best to keep my voice down.

"n-nothing...imp-p-portant..."

"Aw, Dan, everything you say is important to me." I nuzzled him, and he hummed in satisfaction.

What I didn't notice was Phil slowly putting his arm on my back, rubbing up in down in a soothing matter. He must have noticed how worn out I was as well.

It was a very peaceful moment.

Well, until Phil cried out in pain.

My head jolted to the side, and I saw Phil clutching the hand that was behind my back, shock on his face. "Phil!?" I exclaimed, eyes wide in worry. "Are you okay?"

"Dan just...just scratched me?" He was confused, and I noticed red lines trailing up his hand. I slowly turned to Dan, who was still nuzzling into my neck.

"Dan?"

"mm?"

"Why?"

"h-he..." Dan breathed heavily, clenching and unclenching his hands that were clutched onto my shirt, "w-wants to...to..."

"To?" Phil inquired, incredulous.

"t-take you away..." If I wasn't paying so much attention to his words, I wouldn't have heard them. It was barely a whisper.

"Dan, honey, I don't think Phil is trying to take me away. We're only friends, okay? I get that you've always been really lonely, but I promised already to stay with you. You should say sorry to Phil, hurting people isn't the answer." Instead of replying, he only buried his face further into my neck, but I wasn't having it. "Dan," I used a stern tone, knowing he wasn't himself at the moment. He was kind of acting like a child.

"...im..."

Phil turned to him.

"fuck off."

"DAN." I pulled away from him, and he let out a pathetic whine as I scooted closer to Phil. "Apologize you...you...spork!" I pointed with my pitiful insult. Okay, so maybe being assertive isn't my thing. But just because he's having a tough time doesn't mean he gets to hurt other people.

"w-why...why are you taking his side?" Dan looks up, meeting my gaze. I frowned when I noticed his chocolatey eyes watering. I shook my head, trying not to let the waterworks get to me. I wouldn't let up this time.

"I'm not, you just used violence in a very...weird?...way." Good job, (y/n), it's great to not be sure of your words.

Dan looked down, then slowly looked up. He looked _mad._ "Well, you are mine, aren't you?" For some reason, it seemed like this wasn't post-panic attack Dan. It was just Dan saying these things.

"Well...uh...I'm not a possession?"

"I think she's trying to say that even though you two are dating, she can still have other friends." Phil supplies, wrapping his arms around me and resting his chin on my shoulder. I felt his jaw move like he was mouthing words. I wonder what he was saying to Dan?

Frustration lined Dan's lips, that were now in a tight line.

"Fine. Okay, that's great. Just perfect." Dan stood up, eyes lingering on mine for a few moments before he quickly turned around and went in the direction of his room. I pursed my lips. He never said sorry.

"Don't be mad at him."

"I'm not...mad, just confused. Has he always been that territorial?"

"Yeah, he used to be like that with me. Fans even see it. His lips go is this tight line," He gestures to his lips as he demonstrates, "And he either looks away, smiles weirdly, or says something snappy or off."

"Oh." I pondered for a moment, connecting puzzle pieces in my mind. "So...unrelated but...when I was going to get him from the grocery store, he was talking about how he felt like dying and stuff and forgot who I was. He also kept saying how lonely he was, how nobody cared about him. Have people left him in the past because of his anxiety?"

"Well, it's a given. Some people aren't dedicated enough to have a friend in which they have to cautiously watch out for. People overlook his personality and traits and only see the parts of him that he can't control." His eyes had a serious light to them, "He was bullied too...you know...he wasn't always like this. He used to be able to be touched."

"What?" I whispered.

"Yeah." Phil's gaze darkened, "He was bullied pretty severely all throughout his school days. Sure, he always had anxiety, but anytime somebody _would_ touch him, it was always sinister. The one's at his schools weren't good people."

"Was he physically harmed?"

"Daily." He sighed, "It got so severe that he almost...gave up." I covered my mouth, knowing the meaning of those words. "It was around the time I met him, actually. The stories online are half true about him being 'Phil trash #1'. But, I was also determined to become his friend. I liked his channel. But, he would have bruises appear and disappear, scars and cuts from people hurting him littered across his body in early videos if you looked close enough."

"Dan always said to his fans that he was clumsy, but people really were out to get him. He was fed up, and done. Nobody protected him. He never had friends. And now, he couldn't even touch people or else he would get a panic attack because anyone that would touch him only did so to hurt him."

Phil looked down, a small, bitter smile on his lips.

"I found him on a roof."

Tears started dripping down my faces without permission.

"It was the first time we met. It was the hardest moment of my life, seeing a person I looked up to online at his lowest moment. It was just me, him, and the grey sky above. I had reached out, and he flinched back. If I didn't lunge for him...if I wasn't fast enough..." I hugged Phil.

"You don't have to continue."

"No, you need to know."

He sighed.

"I grabbed him, pulling him back. His eyes were wide, surprise in his gaze. In the next few moments, he broke down, shouting everything he's been through, confusion at how I didn't hurt him too. We decided that if somebody had no intentions toward a person, good or bad, they could touch him. A person has to have a certain clarity in their mind to touch him because their heart is different from others."

"But what if a person changes?"

"If you touch him once, he realizes so, and his brain must put into place that _that person_ doesn't give them overwhelming anxiety."

"Could it just be chance, though? And have nothing to do with clarity?"

"That could also be it."

We sat in silence, hugging, crying over his past and misfortune.

"You should go to Dan, he's probably thinking you're going to leave him."

I smile and nod in understanding.

Phil was a good person.

Nothing could change my mind about that.

**Phil P.O.V**

I think I'm losing myself.

How can I hide away the dark thoughts? How am I able to pretend that I did nothing? Especially since I did it again.

I followed (y/n) when she left the house to go after Dan. I needed to make sure she was safe, Dan would've wanted me to do so. I also wanted to know what was the cause of Dan's distress, because then I could **rid it**.

So, when I saw the woman bitterly tell (y/n) she bumped into him, I was livid. How in a panicked situation that everyone is in, could she be so rude? It was her fault. It still is her fault.

I had to do something, it was only right that I do so.

I trailed behind the woman, sickened by her. I was lucky she lived in a relatively secluded area.

I was also lucky she decided to take a shortcut.

_Through an alleyway._

A smile stretched across my face as I gripped the weapon in my back pocket, hidden by my shirt. She must have heard my footsteps because she stopped, and whipped around to face me. "Shortcut?" I smiled warmly, tilting my head to the side, pretending to not be completely disgusted by every fiber of her being.

She smirked, resting a hand on her hip. "What, trying to butter me up, little boy?"

My smile twitched. Okay, we're going to play this game.

"Sorry, I was...haha," I rubbed the back of my head, 'sheepish'. "I was a bit distracted by your beauty...ha...I'm sorry, I'll just make my way. This is very rude of me to be stopping you from your destination."

"Well," Her hand clamped onto my arm when I attempted to walk past her, "I wouldn't mind having a little fun before getting home." She winked, and I beamed.

"Oh, okay." As she leaned in, I felt bile rise in my throat. Was I really going to do this? I didn't really want to be anywhere near her. I pretended to be into it, leaning in slowly as well, right as our lips were about to touch...

I heard a blood-curdling scream.

My pupils constricted as a large grin masked my face.

The knife went right into her back. I pushed her onto the ground as hard as I could and watched as the blade dug deeper into her spine. I heard her blubbering, begging me for something.

"Oh? Now you're sorry? You weren't sorry when you caused my best friends to have a bit of a hiccup in their lives." I smiled sweetly, yanking it out of her back, before lifting it up high above my head. I laughed maniacally. "Do you have any last words?"

"P-Please d-don't do this! I promise I'll give you everything! I-I don't know your friends but I'll go and apologize and–"

I brought it down with all my strength to her throat.

"Oops! Haha, I accidently beheaded her. How funny!" I laughed, before looking around. No one was around but me.

"Dan, (y/n), I saved you guys from another bad person. I'll rid everyone bad in your lives, I promise. _I'll make everything perfect._ " I spoke aloud, a wide smile on my face before it dimmed into a blank expression. "Time to clean up, I guess."  
  



	16. Chapter 16 - Party

**Your P.O.V**

"A party?"

"Yeah, we were invited."

"I don't want to go," Dan whined. I rolled my eyes, before patting his head.

"I understand you're not fond of crowded places, but this is a one-time thing."

"Nooooooo...." Dan wailed, throwing his arms into the air and flailing his body around. He looks to me, then glares at Phil. "Why'd you have to tell her about it?"

"Come on, Dan, we miss it every year. I know you don't like my other friends, but maybe this will be a good chance to introduce (y/n) to some other people."

"Now why would I want her to know more people?" Dan scoffs, and I frown. Is he being jealous? How adorable. I watched as he puffed his cheeks out and crossed his arms, scowling as much as he could.

"Dan, it'll be fun! I _reeaalllyyy_ want to go. Plus, it'll take our minds off of everything. Don't worry, I'll be there to protect you the whole time!" I pointed a thumb to my chest, smiling proudly.

He looked unamused.

"Fine, Dan, if you don't go I'll just take (y/n) with me." Phil retorts, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. Dan opened his mouth wide, then closed it. Then opened it, then closed it. He was at a loss for words.

"You know what? Fine! I'll go! If I die it's both of yours faults."

"Yay!" Phil and I cheered happily, dancing around the room in victory.

Dan grumbled and sank into his chair.

This was going to be a blast!

**_~le few days later~_ **

I straightened my casual, (f/c) dress, smiling at myself in the mirror as I adjusted my hair into my favorite hairstyle. Shortly after a knock on the door alerted me of their arrival, and I checked one more time in the mirror before running to the front and opening it.

"Hey guys! I'm ready to go!" I slipped on some flats, not noticing their stares.

"Maybe this is a bad idea. Me and (y/n) should stay, she's too pretty to be seen by other people."

"Aw, Dan, that's so sweet of you!" I beamed, standing up straight and flushing from the compliment. He's so adorable when he's jealous.

"Too late to back out now!" Phil exclaims, grabbing both of our hands and dragging us along. They were both wearing casual shirts and jeans. Of course, Dan was wearing black, and Phil bright colors. I smiled, amused at their differences.

Hailing a taxi, we all three gathered into the back of the car, Phil directing the man driving as I comforted the pouting Dan. "You can't leave my sight for a second. I'll die."

"Sure, sure," I waved him off, patting his head. It was a feat possible because we were sitting down.

After a while, we arrived on a bumpy road, which led us to a mansion with loud music blaring from inside. I quirked my head to the side, never having thought a building this big would be located in such a random, isolated place.

"My...friends...rent this out every year for a party once December begins." Phil smiled, before paying the cab driver as we planted our feet on the ground. I sighed in relief, happy to be out of that cramped car.

Dan grabbed my hand, and I felt sad when it shook in mine. Maybe we were pushing him a bit too much? But it's good for him to get out some, right? Perhaps one day his anxiety would get better and-

(Y/n), don't say that. You're being insensitive, I thought to myself.

"Well, let's go!" Phil skipped ahead, as I dragged Dan with me. Eventually, we reached the two doors keeping whatever hell was inside in. I was excited and nervous, wanting so badly to meet new people.

Try not to be desperate, (y/n), I scolded myself.

When we were welcomed inside by an obviously drunk...seemingly twenty years old, I was in awe by how many people were actually here. It was a large open room, with people dancing in outfits ranging from way to formal to...uh...not much clothing.

To be honest, this place looked like a club.

"Phil...?"

"Yeah?"

"Who are you friends with?"

"Well, not all of these people, just a few of them," He rubbed his hands together nervously. "Here, let me lead you to one of the hang out rooms."

And he did just that. We walked all the way around the people, not wanting Dan to get bumped into by anyone. Phil led us into a room with many people holding drinks, but less. It was filled with the buzz of chatter until we heard someone shout Phil's name.

"Phillip? You actually came! And you brought a pretty lady," He winked, and I raised an eyebrow.

"She's taken, Will, by Dan."

'Will' rolled his eyes, his blond hair shaved on the sides. He was wearing a white wife beater and khaki shorts. "Whatever, but I'm glad you came!" Will lifted his hand into a fist bump, and Phil returned it. Will nodded with a smirk, before turning to me.

"Want a drink?"

"Uh-"

"She doesn't." Dan grips my hand, smiling menacingly. Will lifted his hands up in surrender, backing away before disappearing into the crowd. Dan sighed next to me, still squeezing my hand tightly.

"Hey, maybe we should get some drinks, help us loosen up, you know?"

I looked to the side, about to ask Phil. But...he was already gone, mingling in the crowd.

"Fine. Whatever." Dan mumbles, and I drag him along the wall to where the drinks were, and we both grabbed a cup.

"To being social!" I lifted my cup, and he did the same, smiling weakly.

I blinked.

How long has it been?

Damn it. That drink was strong. It's only been a few minutes and I feel tipsy. "Come on, (y/n), you know you can't hold your alcohol." I shook my head, scowling at myself. I continued walking around, weaving through everyone, occasionally greeting people as I passed.

Wait.

Where's Dan?

Frantically, I looked around. Oh no. Oh no.

I lost him.

**Dan P.O.V**

Where is she?

She was supposed to wait for me. I-I just went to the bathroom for a second! How could she have wandered off?

It's because of the fucking drink. I feel a buzzing sensation in my mind at the thought, but I push it away. I had a high tolerance.

But...did she?

Panic flared in my chest, forcing my legs to move as I pressed my back against a wall and slid against it as I scanned the people, searching for the one I love.

I kept looking and looking, fear muddling my senses. Until I finally saw her.

But a stupid woman got in my way.

"Hey,"

I looked past her, not wanting to talk to her.

"My name's Melissa."

I tried to walk past her, but she's in my way.

"You know, I've met (y/n)."

I froze.

"How-"

"Great, now I have your attention! I want you to meet my friends, they are your biggest fans!"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Sure, I cared for all my fans and loved them, but this girl was rubbing me the wrong way. Especially since she said she knew (y/n). It couldn't be from her past because she only recently moved here when we met...and I don't recall her mentioning any friends.

"Dan, this is Victoria and Lila."

"Cool, cool, um, I kind of need to find my date?...so could you please move aside?..."

"Date?" Lila scoffs, "Why would you want to find (y/n)? She's horrible! I heard she was a slut. You know, I think she's been cheating on you. I saw her in the mall a few weeks ago!"

"Hm?" My brow twitched. Could these girls possibly...be the ones who hurt **my** (y/n)?

"Yeah! You should leave her," Victoria nods, as does Melissa.

Fuck, why am I even bothering to remember their names? They're so suspicious. I don't trust them. "No thanks, I love my girlfriend. Please excuse me-"

"Dan?" I heard the voice of an angel, _my_ angel. Beaming, I looked up at her, excited to have found her and finally get away from these people. "Why are you...why are you talking to them?" Fear filled (y/n)'s eyes and my chest constricted.

No...nononononono...these are the girls...

"Ugh, look who it is. Dan was just leaving you."

I clenched my fist and teeth, before smiling at the three girls. "No, I love her, not you guys, now leave me alone. **I know what you did**."

"I...I mean...of course, you do! Haha..." Lila stammers nervously, and I smirk. "I mean, I did it for us, you know? Cus' we're meant to be!"

I stiffened. "Like hell we are."

I reached out to grab (y/n)s shaking hand, resisting the urge to strangle the girls.

"Lila? Who are you talking to, babe?"

Well, fan-fucking-tastic.

"Just a bitch who tried to punch me, and this handsome boy helped me." A strange, guttural sound escaped from my throat at what she called (y/n). I looked at the man who was obviously some buffed up narcissist. Just looking at him made me want to throw up.

"Oh? Well, how about I teach her a lesson."

"What?" I spat, glaring down at him. Being taller then everyone had its advantages. "Please step away from my girlfriend, tool."

"Who's a tool, tall lanky boy? I've been through more in a day then you have in your petty little life."

" **Excuse me**?" I spluttered, eyes wide. This fucking guy has _no way_ been through the hell that I've been through. I breathed heavily, gripping onto (y/n)s hand and squeezing tightly. "(Y/n), let's go."

"I'm not done with you-"

"Who the fuck cares about you!" I retorted, rolling my eyes.

I didn't have time to dodge the fist that came into my face.

I stumbled backward, separated from (y/n), panic and pain clouding my senses.

Not now. No...

My vision blurred as I watched through black spots when he lunged at me again. I braced myself for impact, but none came.

"Stay away from him! What did he do to you?!"

"(y-y/n)...n-no..." I gasped, breathing quickening. Why was I so fucking useless? I needed to protect her. I can't...I can't...she's going to get hurt...I need...weapon...

"Aw, little girly standing up for her guy?" People...crowding...no...too many...I can't breathe...

"You got a problem you ugly sack of steroids?"

"Don't test me bitch."

No...protect...

I...

Can't...

I screeched.

**Phil P.O.V**

I saw people crowding around a group, and I decided to follow suit, wondering what was going on. Did a drunk fight start?

"Don't test me bitch."

No way. That was (y/n)...and Dan was on the ground with a bruise forming on his eye.

"And what if I do?"

"Well," I started weaving through the crowd as fast as I could, knowing Dan was having a panic attack and (y/n) was in danger. 

"...move..." I shouted at people, squeezing through before I was finally where they were located in the middle.

I couldn't react quick enough.

_He attacked her_

_Dan screeched_

_I_

_Can't think straight_

_I have to_

_I have to_

**_I have to protect them_ **

I ran forward and jumped in front of (y/n), rage fueling my adrenalin as I socked him in the jaw, before kicking him in the stomach. I continued to pound him while people cheered, roaring with joy at the violence.

**_Kill._ **

**_Kill him._ **

**_Kill._ **

My mind repeated over and over as blood started pouring from his nose. I stood up then slammed my foot down onto his stomach before ramming my elbow into the same spot. He began coughing, begging me to stop.

"Stop? STOP? You hurt him. **_Y o u h u r t h e r._** "

"Phil! Stop! It's over! It's okay! I'm fine!"

I heard voice trying to reach me, but I was too focused.

Where's my blade.

_I forgot it._

I kept beating him.

_I don't need it._

"PHIL! PLEASE!" I heard sobbing.

I kept going, feeling arms wrap around my body.

"Phil...please stop...we're okay..."

I blinked, arms raised in the air, ready to push them down at any moment.

"Phil...let's go home..."

I breathed, looking at my hands.

_Red._

I looked around me. People had already moved on, too drunk out of their minds to notice what I did.

"Xavier! Oh my god!" A blonde girl bent down in front of him as I stood up, wrapping my arms around (y/n) protectively. "Damn it! Why didn't I film it! Could have blackmailed them." She cursed, and I narrowed my eyes dangerously. She didn't care for the man I almost killed. "Ugh, Phil! Why would you protect her? She's just some bitch! I'm so much better for you two!"

"No." I growled, tightening my arms around (y/n), before looking back and Dan and walking over to him, dragging (y/n) behind me.

"Comfort him." I murmured, watching as she did just so.

Eventually we managed to get him standing, balancing him and wrapping his arms around our shoulders as we walked out of the building.

"Phil..."

"Yeah?"

"Let's never do this again." She sighed.

"Of course."


	17. Chapter 17 - I'll Show you Crazy

**Your P.O.V**

I walked Dan to his room, laying him down on his bed. It was right to let him rest after what happened tonight.

After tucking him in I looked back at him softly, eyes trailing over his face from across the room. A small smile pricked the edge of my lips. I couldn't quite place what emotion I was feeling. Was it protective? I don't know, but taking care of him made my heart warm.

I really did love him, after all.

I sighed, before turning off the lights and shutting the door behind me.

"Phil," I stated.

"Yeah?"

I walked into the living room to face him, searching his eyes.

"Why'd you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Why did you hurt him so badly?"

Silence.

"He hurt you and Dan."

"I...I understand but...but why would you go that far? I mean, I appreciate you protecting me and Dan but it was like you lost yourself. I was looking at a different person for a few moments while you...you beat him."

"Look," Phil ran his fingers through his hair, sighing deeply. "I was really angry. I rarely get angry, and when I do I just can't really control it, you know? It's hard. It's really, really hard for me."

I looked at him, thinking. The way he reacted just was so violent and unlike him. It didn't seem normal at all. I never took him for the type to have anger issues. But maybe that's because I never witnessed him really angry besides that one time I came home with cut hair...

Oh. _Oh._ Phil didn't know that blonde girl was the one who did it to me.

Should I tell him?

"I was afraid...I mean...that girl was the one who uh...cut my hair and stuff...so I didn't pull you away fast enough..."

"She was the one?"

"Yeah, and I guess that guy was her boyfriend, maybe."

"Then I don't feel bad. Not one bit for what I did."

"W-well forgiveness is a virtue, right? I've already forgiven her because there's no point in holding a grudge, it only keeps you in the past." I shuffled back and forth on my feet, fiddling with my fingers. Did I sound stupid? I don't know, I just didn't want him to think beating people up is normal.

Though, I guess he was old enough to think for himself, so why should I even worry?

"You're too sweet for this world, (y/n)." He smiled gently, ruffling my hair. I blinked. Not quite what I wanted him to get out of this conversation.

"Hey, you won't hurt any more people right?"

"Of course I won't." I sighed in relief at his words. Maybe he really did feel bad for what he did, and just couldn't show it.

"I'm tired. I'll be off to sleep."

"Okay."

"Good night."

"Good night."

**Phil P.O.V**

It was late.

I left my room, changing into dark clothing and pulling a jacket on. I went into the kitchen, looking at the array of knives before choosing the sharpest, more agile one.

The party would still be going on.

I hope he's still there.

With that bitch, of course.

After hailing a taxi and waiting in the car anxiously, I was eventually dropped off in front of the same building where Dan and (y/n) were hurt.

I should burn this place down just because of that.

I clenched my fists, then unclenched them. Determined, my feet urged forward, my heartbeat drumming in my head in excitement.

I entered the building, pushing past everyone and keeping my head low, looking around for the two people.

Eventually, I spotted the blonde hair of the female and bruised body of the male. I smirked at that thought. They would both have more to worry about than a few bruises.

I stood against a wall, watching them, waiting for them to leave. Once they did I would follow them until there was a more secluded place. I licked my chapped lips, leaning my head back as I narrowed my eyes at them.

There wasn't a single doubt in my mind about what I was doing.

For some reason, that kind of scared me.

But then again, it was all for a good reason. If they didn't hurt (y/n) and Dan then I wouldn't even bat an eye. I would completely ignore their existence. But they had to go ahead and do the unforgivable.

Even if (y/n) could forgive them, I couldn't. They deserve to be damned to hell. 

"...look, it'll be great, don't you want revenge?" I overheard come from the bitch's mouth, and my brows furrowed.

"...yeah...yeah...okay...sounds like a plan...already told my friends..." the bastard replied, but I couldn't quite hear the whole conversation. They could be talking about anything, but why did I sense danger?

After what felt like an hour they finally made their way to the door, and I followed behind them closely, but far enough so I won't be seen.

They walked through the chilly night, before taking a detour into the woods around the mansion. Perfect. How lucky for me.

I watched as they eventually entered a tiny clearing, and he pushed the blonde up against a tree, feeling her body as they made out.

Absolutely revolting.

As they...kissed...I snuck up behind the male, heart thrumming faster and faster. Exhilaration pumped in my brain, and I felt my pupils constrict as a large grin masked my face. I raised the blade high above my head, before bringing it down onto the male, hitting him in the middle of the back as he cried out in agony.

I only laughed as the girl screamed, as I pulled the blade from the guys back roughly. I stalked up to the girl, letting the man writhe on the floor in pain. "Scared? Are you scared of me?" I chuckled, "You know, (y/n) was scared when you cut her hair...speaking off," I lunged forward, pinning her against the tree.

"I...I..." She stammered, eyes looking down at my lips before looking back up at me.

"In a moment like this, you should be looking at my eyes, sweetheart." I smile, grabbing a chunk of her hair and her forehead. I pushed her forehead back as I tugged as hard as I could at her hair. She yelped, and I furrowed my brow.

No, I won't just cut her hair.

I lifted the knife to where her part began, and let the sharp end rest against. "W-what are y-you going to d-do?"

"Oh, nothing too bad." I shrugged, before tensing my arm completely and focusing all of my strength in one place. With all the force I could muster I pushed down and forward.

Only the sound of screams filled the night as I ripped up the skin of her scalp little by little. I laughed through her suffering until her whole head of hair was removed.

She sobbed and choked, falling onto the ground, legs not supporting her. "Hm...what else did you do to her...?" I tapped my chin, before lighting up. "Oh yeah! You got cut marks all over her! Haha!"

And for the next few minutes, I spent time scraping and littering cuts across her body and face. "You don't even know the pain you made (y/n) and Dan feel. Did you know you made her break up with him? They got back together, but _you_ broke them apart."

"....d..." She gasped.

"Hm?"

"...good..."

I twitched.

I opened my mouth, panting.

" **What did you just say?** "

"Good!" She spat in my face, and my eyes widened further, a large smile stretching across my face.

"Oh? Is that so?" I lifted the blade, before sinking it into the bottom of her foot. She screamed as I continued to do the same to her ankles. I felt a hand grab at me from behind, and I turned around and quickly grabbed the man's neck, before stabbing the blade in both of his eyes. I also cut his tongue in half, disabling him from saying anything with that disgusting mouth of his.

When I turned back to her, she was crawling away on her knees, and I laughed hysterically, finding the situation oh too funny. I grabbed onto her shirt as she sobbed, about to end it all. But then...

I thought of a better idea.

I smirked, before pushing her back onto the ground so she was laying on her stomach. I straddled her legs, before positioning the blade right above the behinds of her knees.

And then I brought it down, hacking at the bones and joints continuously.

The screaming stopped. She must have passed out. I shrugged, before slicing her neck, letting the blood drip onto the dirt ground.

"Any last words?" I turned to the male.

"Y-You're insane!"

"There's not a single thing that's wrong with my mind."

"H-How c-can someone be so h-heartless?"

"Heartless? HEARTLESS? That's you. You punched Dan, and almost did the same to (y/n). How could I ever forgive you?"

"P-Please...I'll...I'll apologize!"

I laughed out loud.

"I don't think that's enough~" I sang.

"Y-You...you're crazy!"

"I'm tired of trying to be normal, that's all. I guess I've driven myself crazy!" I chuckled, "Just because you say I'm crazy, doesn't mean I'm fucking crazy."

"You are! Normal people don't kill others! Normal people don't torture!"

"I'll show you crazy!" I repeated the same process, from the scalping to the knees. Effectively disabling him before looked down on him.

I stabbed him once.

"Maniac!"

Again.

"Sick bastard!"

Again.

"Psychopath!" I screamed.

Again.

" **I'll show you crazy**. I'll show everyone crazy!" I screeched.

After repeatedly stabbing him over and over, I felt much better.

I giggled.

Then I chuckled.

Then I laughed hysterically.

"I protected you guys! They won't hurt you ever again!" I grinned, looking down at the two bodies with pride.

"Time to head home to my family!" I smiled brightly.

This felt right.

I did a good thing.

I protected my family.

That's what everybody does right? I just do it a little differently.

Yeah.

A little differently.

...

I'm not crazy.


	18. Chapter 18 - You made a Mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for me absent for so long!! This won't happen again so don't worry. A bunch of things happened with me and my family and I'm just glad to be back! Hope you enjoy this extra long chapter as an apology :D!

 

**Phil POV**

I softly opened the door to the flat, trying to be as quiet as I could. Softly, I ran the knife under the sink, watching with intrigue as the crimson stained the water. Sighing, I turned around to put the knife away.

"Where were you?"

I jumped in surprise, and the blade fell to the ground with a clang.

"Dan–"

I turned around.

That's not Dan.

"You're wearing this dark hoodie, and you left in the middle of the night. Also, you're holding a _knife_." (Y/n)'s eyes pierced into mine, questioning me with suspicion. My mouth opened, then closed. Damn it.

"Cooking." I coughed, "I was cold."

"Don't bullshit me." She snapped, and my eyes widened in surprise at her harsh words. My lip trembled, unsure how to handle the situation. I didn't plan for this. What do I do? I'm out of control. I can't predict what's going to happen. "Just tell me the truth, Phil. You and Dan have been sneaking around a lot. I'm not as oblivious as you think."

I resisted the urge to raise my eyebrow. She had no clue what Dan has been doing, or what I have been doing.

...

Did she?

"Look, I know you have problems with anger, and I don't want to assume what you were doing, but it kind of seems like you went back to the party." My heart pounded in my ears, and without consent, my head began twitching, eyes slightly rolling upwards as I blinked. "Phil, please just be honest. I'm here to support you!"

I gasped for air. No. This isn't what was supposed to happen.

"Guys? Why are you up?" My muscles tensed when I heard Dan's groggy voice walking into the living room. (Y/n) turned to him, acknowledging that he was there. I was hoping she would drop it since he's here.

"Dan, do you know why Phil would be sneaking out in the middle of the night? Especially with a knife." Dan's eyes snapped to mine in shock before panic laced his features. His lips held a grimace.

"I–I don't know."

(Y/n) looked at us with a disapproving gaze.

"You know; I've been wondering what's been going on with you two. After the fans showed hate towards me it's like you've both become a paranoid mess! It's like you know everything that's going on! It's almost as if–" She paused, looking at us. "When I broke up with Dan...suddenly...all these weird things started happening..."

No. She can't possibly be piecing this together.

"And I was being followed...and–and I–" Her eyes widen, and she suddenly sped past us, running for the door.

"(Y/n)! Where are you going?"

"To my room."

I looked at her questioningly. Wasn't she just figuring out what was happening? Why would she want to go to her room–

Oh.

Oh no.

She closed the door behind her.

"Dan, did you take the camera out?" He blinked at me, before shaking his head. "Damn it! She's going to check it! Dan! She will be able to find out where it's streaming too! Hurry and go disconnect it! And hide all of your creepy shit!"

"Fuck." Dan's brown eyes bulged before he sprinted to his room.

I hope he wasn't too late.

I paced around the room, pulling at my hair. How could I be so careless? I should have known this would happen. After a few moments of overwhelming anxiety, I saw the doorknob turning.

"Sorry, I can't believe I ever doubted you." (Y/n) walked in sheepishly, holding the camera in her hand. "This isn't even the type of camera you use. How could I ever think that? I'm sorry, Phil. Where's Dan?"

"I–In his room." I stuttered out of relief. Watching as she walked down the hallway to her destination.

I felt doubt clutching onto my mind. She's smart. She wouldn't just brush it off like that, why would she? If it was us she would probably assume we wouldn't use a camera that we were known to use. Or else it would be too obvious.

Could she–

**Dan POV**

I saw my door open, and in my teary eyed state I could barely make out that it was (Y/n). I clutched my chest, the pain overwhelming me. "Dan, I'm so sorry I ever doubted you guys." My head shot up, staring into her beautiful (e/c) eyes.

"H–Huh?" I stammered, eyes widening.

"You must hate me," she rubbed the back of her head, "I'm sorry."

"N–No! I would never hate you (Y/n)!" I smiled widely, joy filling my lungs at the fact she didn't know what we had done.

I suspected the reason Phil went out at night was to kill the two who attacked us. And for some reason, I felt no pity. If they hurt her, they deserved to die. Honestly, I'm grateful that Phil isn't in the same situation as me and can protect us both. Everything was going perfectly, and she didn't even suspect a thing!

"What are you doing?" I tilted my head, watching her as she walked around, eyes scanning the room before landing on my closet. I looked in the same direction, wondering what she was looking for.

"Nothing really..." She mumbled, "But I have always wanted to see what kind of clothes you actually have!" She giggles, and I stood up, walking up to her and pushing her back.

"U–Uh...maybe not. My closet is a mess really." I chuckled.

What I didn't expect was for her eyes to narrow, and a smirk to spread across her face. "What? Are you hiding something from me, _Danny_?" My breath caught in my throat, and my hands shook as I kept pushing her away from the wardrobe.

"No!" I shouted, before realizing my mistake. Her hard gaze met mine as she slammed me into the wall, catching me by surprise. I lunged for her, trying to grab her before she could get any further. I gasped for air, panic constricting my lungs as her hand landed on the handle. "(Y/n), stop! You don't understand!"

She whipped her head back to me, and I finally noticed the tears welling in her eyes. Her beautiful, sparkling, tantalizing eyes...

"I swear Dan! You and Phil–you've been acting so bizarre! Phil nearly beat that man at the party to death! Don't you find that strange? He has never shown signs of anger issues, and suddenly, once you and I are hurt, he goes crazy!" She panted, a wild look in her eyes. "And you! You're so...territorial! I just remembered how–how when I was harassed by that guy in the store you literally _washed_ me. You kept on repeating over and over how I was tainted, how you needed to cleanse me."

I was stunned.

"You even scratched Phil when he barely put his arm around my shoulder! I–I...how was I so oblivious! You were possessive, you didn't want anyone touching me. When that guy at the party winked at me jokingly, you actually _growled!_ You uploaded that video of me with my hair cut and scratches all over my face!"

"I–"

"You were the one following all those times, weren't you?" Her voice kept raising. Fear enveloped me. "Those dark, purple marks around Phil's neck that one time...how did that even happen! Did you strangle him? Did he strangle himself? You guys kept having these talks amongst yourselves. Phil would appear emotionless sometimes. Everything just doesn't make sense–!"

"It was for YOU!" I screamed, my grip on reality fading. "I...we did everything for _you!_ " I gasped for air, grabbing her shoulders tightly. "The world is cruel, all it does is _take_ and _take_ until it has nothing else to rip away from you!" I breathed heavily, "I should be able to make contact with anyone. I could have lived a happy life without the _torture_ school put me through. The world took everything! My ability to touch, to interact, to _love_!"

"I wanted to die! I tried to die!" I sobbed, lowering my head onto her shoulder. "The world almost took my ability to live."

"But...Phil saved me...And I hated him for it. I wanted to give up. I wanted to leave this world and never come back. What's even the point? I was slowly dying from my inability to create connections. All I had was Phil, who had many other friends. He could _easily_ replace me. But then _you_. came along."

"I...I have never felt this way before. I thought I lost the ability to love. But when we became friends I actually longed for you. It was a new feeling, and I didn't know–I didn't know how to control it. The overwhelming urge to hold you, to protect you. To _keep_ you."

"You had no friends and had just moved. You were like me. I could become your _everything_. You would love me, and cherish me like nobody else could. And–and I would finally, finally be _happy_." Tears streamed down my face, and I clutched onto her frozen form, feeling the warmth she radiated.

"You make me happy."

**Your POV**

"You make me happy." I didn't move. I couldn't. Here he was, pouring his heart out to me, clutching onto me like if he didn't I would disappear, and all I could do was stand still.

Why had he dragged me away from that closet?

Why did he do all of this?

It can't just be love, right? Because Phil doesn't even love me–

_"I love you too, (y/n)."_

_"Um. What?" I blinked._

_"As a friend of course."_

I thought he was joking. Damn it, I took it all to lightly, brushed too many things off. I should have noticed all these things before it got out of hand.

"You're my only source of happiness." He lifted his head, glistening brown eyes boring into mine. "You complete me."

I stared down at him. Normally, this would have been romantic and sweet. But the way his eyes twitched, and how his hands confined me, it wasn't. Something wasn't right in his head. He needs help. I tried to speak, but no words came out. Fear muted me.

"You...complete me." His eyes became half lidded, and he leaned forward, pushing my (h/c) hair behind my ear. "You wouldn't leave me, right, (y/n)?" He whispered into my ear, and I resisted every urge to say yes.

He was manipulating me.

I sighed, using every ounce of my power to push away from him. He looked shocked as I backed away, keeping my distance. "(Y–Y/n)? W–What–"

"I'm sorry, Dan, I really love you, I really do. But this obviously isn't healthy for you, nor is it for Phil." He eyes widened, back straightening. "Maybe we shouldn't see each other for a while, just until everything calms down and you come back to your senses."

"..." He stared emotionlessly. His silence unnerved me. I had the urge to call for Phil, just to break this suffocating atmosphere. "...you...you love me..."

"Yes."

"...so....why..." He stepped forward, "You're joking, right? Y–You shouldn't play such mean tricks! Don't make me so worried!"

"Dan." I hardened my gaze, sternly addressing him. "This isn't a joke. We can't be together, Dan."

Tears fell from his eyes freely, seemingly unending as they continued to trail down his face and hit the floor.

"I'm sorry..." I took a deep breath, feeling my own heart crack into pieces. "Goodbye, Dan." I lowered my head, trying so show how apologetic I was. He knows this hurts me too. He has to know. He didn't react as I walked past him, nor did he move when I opened his door and left.

He was wearing my necklace. I didn't have the heart to ask for it back.

I hesitated as I walked down the hall, feeling the urge to run back, and embrace him and tell him it would all be okay. But I knew I couldn't. He isn't in his right mind.

"(Y/n)? Where's Dan?" I just noticed Phil standing in front of me, a concerned look on his face as he stared down at me. I blinked away tears, before casting my gaze downward. I shook my head gently, before preparing to step past him.

"You should go to him." I said, "He needs you."

"What are you–" His eyes widened in realization. I thought I would see anger, as I had practically broken his friend's heart–it hurts me to even think about it–but it was different. Why did he look so terrified? "What have you done." He whispered face paling more than I had ever seen it. "I get you're scared of us at the moment but maybe think through your actions a little bit!" His eyes were focused on me before they slowly moved to the direction of the hallway.

I tilted my head, before turning in the same direction.

I wished I hadn't.

"So, Phil is the reason you left me?"

"No!" I burst, "I was just saying goodbye!" I jumped away from him, waving my arms frantically. "He was just talking to me!"

"Oh?" Dan looked straight at me, unmoving. "He was talking to you. And you were leaving. Ha-ha." His facial expression did not change. "I think, that he has done this so you would leave me."

"What?" I said, furrowing my brow.

"He purposely got caught sneaking out today, so you would try to leave me." When he said the last part of his sentence his head twitched, going completely side to side. "You've been tricked, (y/n)."

"Dan, I did nothing of that sort," Phil said, "(Y/n) came to this conclusion on her own! I was trying to convince her to stay with you! I promise."

"Oh, in that case," Dan smiled sweetly, "I'll make your death much less painful then I was planning." He blinked weirdly, eyes slightly rolling upwards before returning too normal.

"Dan! You can't be serious!" I gasped, hands covering my mouth after I spoke.

"I'm always serious, love." He smiled gently at me, "He has to go. He's tearing us a–a–apart." Along with his stammering, he continued to jerk his head around. It didn't look purposefully.

Fear formed a knot in my chest. Instead of being brave, I just wanted to run. I needed to leave quickly. Phil was right, I should have thought about this happening. I was stupid. What I said made him finally lose it.

"Dan, you're scaring her."

And you're not scared? Defend yourself, Phil!

"She scared me first." He grinned maniacally. "She had me convinced that she would leave me! But it was you all along pulling the strings!"

"Dan!" I screeched, running forward. I wouldn't let someone else get hurt because of me. "Snap out of it!" He continued to stare at me with that small smile. I had to do it. I had to. It was the only way.

Dan, I'm so, so sorry.

" _I don't love you!_ " I shouted, pouring as much emotion into those words as I could. "I lied earlier so you would let me leave!" I struggled to get the words out, wanting so badly to take them back. But I had to make him see me as the bad guy. He wouldn't be obsessed with me then. We would all be safe, despite being apart.

"(Y–Y/n)–"

" _I will never love you!_ "

I gasped.

"Wait, I didn't mean that, that wasn't supposed to come out like that–"

Giggling.

I slowly looked up, staring as Dan slowly began laughing harder, until it was coming out louder than I had ever heard before. I was paralyzed in fear as he slowly calmed down, before crossing his arms.

"Phil," He nodded in his direction, "Prove that you're loyal to all of this. Prove that you want us together. Show me what you promised me."

I looked between them, suddenly realizing I was in the middle. My heart skipped a beat. "D–Dan I didn't mean it–" He smiled menacingly, head twitching once again as his eyes slightly rolled back.

"Okay." I froze. I looked up at Phil. He frowned. "I'm sorry. This didn't have to happen." He took a step forward, and I urged my feet to move, to get me out of this situation. But I was scared.

It wasn't until Phil gently held my shoulder that I snapped out of it, using all my strength to run for the door. But I was roughly pulled back as Phil quickly restrained my thrashing, holding me still. His arms wrapped around me, creating a human cage. "Now, now, don't do anything rash!" Dan called, his head jerking in a way that made me understand the weight of this situation.

I was stuck in a madhouse.

I shouldn't have helped him in the hallway.

I shouldn't have let all these things slip by.

...

What have I done?

 

 

 

 

 


	19. Chapter 19 - Falling

**Your POV**

I blinked open my eyes. Softly sighing, I rubbed my eyes, wondering what type of video I will make today. Stretching, I prepared to hop off my bed.

Hm. Odd. I can't really move my legs.

Slowly, I adjusted myself and sat up, scanning the room I was in. Checkered bedsheets...I don't remember having those.

And then the memories flooded back to me.

Regret, anger, fear, and guilt all swirled around in my mind uncontrollably. I tried lifting my legs to hug to my chest, but found myself unable to do so. Panic clenched my lungs, making me want to see why I couldn't move my legs, but also afraid to do so.

"You're awake! Ugh, finally! You've been out for a long time." I heard Dan's detached voice call from the now open door, staring down at me. A smile adorned his lips as he walked over to me. Without thinking I shuffled away, instincts screaming about how this wasn't safe. "Hehe, sorry to make you sleep for so long. I guess I went overboard on the drugs."

My jaw dropped. "You–You drugged me?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah. I kind of had to, you were going nuts!" He chuckled, eyes sparkling with amusement. "But I think it was too much. You were out for a few days."

"Days?!" I said, incredulous.

"Yeah. But don't worry! You were never alone so don't be afraid! Phil and I would take turns checking in on you so we knew when you woke up." He smiled softly, before placing his hand gently on my forehead. "How are you feeling?"

Everything he did was so casual and calm, like he _didn't_ just drug me. I resisted the urge to shout, ' _How am I feeling? I'm feeling like leaving!'_ So instead, I just sat there like an idiot staring up at him. Despite being in this cracked state, he still had that sparkle in his eyes, like everything that was happening was just another day.

"Hey, you can talk to me. What's up?" His lips tugged down into a concerned frown, gently brushing his fingers through my hair. "We're together, so you can trust me with any secrets you've been keeping." He grinned playfully, bumping my shoulder with his fist lightly.

"Have you lost it?" I covered my mouth. God, why am I so stupid? Maybe I _shouldn't_ provoke him, brain! Last time that happened he _drugged_ me!

"What?" He tilted his head, brown eyes boring into mine. "That came out of nowhere. You've got something on your mind, don't you?"

I bit my lip.

"U–Uh, where's Phil?"

"Groceries."

"Ah."

And silence fell. I felt tense, before once again trying my hardest to move my legs, to at least make an effort to fend for myself. Soon panic set in as I realized they weren't responding. My breathing quickened. I couldn't walk like this! How was I supposed to get out of here?!

"Shh...calm down, (y/n), you're okay. Everything is fine so you can calm down."

"Fine? Fine?! I can't move my legs!"

He laughed softly.

"Oh, that. Well, I guess maybe the drugs paralyzed them for now. Don't worry, it's only temporary, so no freaking out on me."

' _I will flip my shit if you act all oblivious again!'_ I thought, not realizing that I was now glaring at him.

"Whoa, what's with this hostility? Relax, nobody is here to hurt you. I'm here to protect you now, so don't worry about others." He beamed kindly, before moving to sit on the comforter right beside my unmoving body. "I'm here now." He soothed, pulling me into an embrace.

It felt suffocating. He was hugging me like anyone else would normally, but the way his arms fully wrapped around me, and his head rested atop mine, I felt trapped. What am I going to do? How do I get him out of this state?

When he pulled away I looked down, not wanting to see his face. Instead of leaving me be, he lifted my chin with his index finger, eyes trailing over my features. His eyes settled on my lips, becoming half–lidded.

"You're so...beautiful..." He said breathlessly, now cupping my cheeks.

No, no thanks. Not right now. Back up.

As he leaned forward I leaned back, avoiding his touch. It wasn't that I didn't _want_ to kiss him, I just knew something was very off about how he was acting. He hasn't reacted to my avoidance, so I assumed it was safe to keep going.

A shiver ran down my spine as his thumb traced my lips, now using more force to keep me from leaning backward. "I don't need to kiss you," he sighed, smiling, "I'm just going to hold you."

The door opened.

"(Y/n)!" I heard Phil exclaim, rushing over to my side. "You woke up!" He grinned happily, excitement flashing in his eyes. "I missed talking to you." He pouted, grabbing one of my hands. "I'm so glad you're back!"

I smiled hesitantly at the two, before becoming aware of the strange way Dan looked at Phil. His lips went into a thin line, and he stared Phil up and down, piercing him with his gaze. Phil seemed unaffected. Dan kind of looks like he's jealous. Fear stirred in my chest for an unknown reason. I found his jealousy to be dangerous.

Once again I tried lifting my legs, this time they actually worked. Slowly, I shifted my body to the edge of the bed, propping my feet against the ground. I stood up steadily, balancing myself as feeling returned to my legs. I smiled triumphantly, before frowning as I looked to Dan and Phil.

"Can I ask _why_ you drugged me?"

"Simple," Dan chuckled, waving me off, "so I– _we_ can protect you." I opened my mouth to reply, but then closed it. I nodded hesitantly, the gears in my head turning. First goal is to get out of here, return to my room, and wait for them to return to their right minds. Maybe on their own they'll seek help.

Though, with the way their acting I doubt it.

"You should lay back down, you must be exhausted." Phil placed his hand on the middle of my back, gently leading me back to the bed. I planted my feet, furrowing my brow.

"But I just got up."

"Yes, yes, I understand, please get back in the bed."

He was treating me like a child. I looked at the door, trying to remember if he locked it or not. "I have to go to the bathroom, though." I sucked a breath through my teeth, hoping he would buy it.

"Oh! Let me take you–"

"No! I'm taking her!" Dan grabbed my wrist, pulling me away from Phil harshly. My feet stumbled over each other, making me fall into Dan's chest. I could hear his rapid heartbeat. I flinched at his tight grip.

"Dan, don't over react. We discussed this already." Phil narrowed his eyes, reaching out to grab my hand again. Dan immediately dragged me behind him, practically growling at Phil.

"I changed my mind. You can't touch her. _Ever_. Only I can."

I blinked. Do I get a say in this?

"Excuse me? I thought we made a deal."

"Hah," Dan spat, "that doesn't mean anything. I changed my mind _._ "

"If you don't cooperate then I'm _leaving_!"

I felt Dan stiffen.

"I...I..."

Phil smirked, knowing that he got him.

"I don't care."

Phil's smile fell. "What?"

"Go ahead, leave. If you're just going to try and take her away from me then leave." Dan rose his brow, confidently speaking. Though, I could feel his hands trembling around me.

"Really? You don't care if I just walk out?"

"N–Nope!"

"Okay." Phil sighed, shrugging before walking towards the door. He left the room, with Dan trailing behind him. I blinked. He was distracted.

Now's my chance.

**Dan POV**

****"If you leave you can't come back!" I pressed, watching as he made his way toward the door nonchalantly.

"Fine with me." I took in a sharp breath. I thought he would just give in. I thought if I told him to leave he would change his mind. I don't want him to leave. After everything we've been through, how could he just shrug it off like we never met? My eyes widened as he reached for the door, grasping the handle and turning it.

"Wait!" I screamed, but he had already left.

No.

"Come back!" I screeched, wanting to run after him, but knowing my (y/n) was still in the room. If I left, she wouldn't be safe. But, if I stayed, Phil might not come back.

What do I do?

I fell to the ground, the decisions swirling in my head. Sobs wracked my chest, feeling my world crumble apart. Why did I have to be so selfish? Why couldn't we just all live happily together?

...

I must go after him.

But first, I have to make sure (y/n) doesn't get any... _funny_...ideas.

**Your POV**

****Maybe I shouldn't have opened his closet. But, he made me curious with how much he was protecting it. I nearly screamed in fear and surprise with what I saw. In my mind, I knew right then that I had to leave. I couldn't fall for the pity.

I heard Dan screaming, probably going to run after Phil. It was my only chance to leave. Dan may be tall and pretty strong, but he wasn't as strong as Phil. I would have a better chance escaping Dan then Phil. Looking around I noticed that he had a window with the drapes pulled, and a frown pulled my lips down.

Sighing, I walked over and moved the curtains aside, staring out the window. "Oh...god..." I blinked. We're high up, not extremely, but high enough that jumping down would severely hinder my ability to function. I pushed on it, before trying to lift the glass. Damn it, it doesn't open.

And then I heard footsteps.

"Shit," I said, panic setting in. This is probably the last time I would be alone. I have to take the risk, but I could get severely hurt.

Without another thought I grabbed his bedside lamp and swung, shielding myself as the glass shattered and scattered across the floor.   
The door opened, and I turned around quickly with my legs already out the room. "(Y/n)! What the hell are you doing?!" Dan yelled, legs tensing to walk towards me but I pointed my arm at him, narrowing my eyes.

"Get any closer and I'll jump out!"

He froze, his chest taking quick, shallow breaths. "H–hey, don't be rash, think this through, okay? Please come back into the room." Dan said softly, smiling gently at me with beckoning arms. I eyed him warily, noting the puffiness of his eyes.

"Dan," I said slowly, "If I come back in, you have to see someone, get some kind of help. This isn't normal." I was tense, eyes darting across his face to view his reaction.

"I–I...you'll...still live in the flat, right? I promise to get help if you just stay in our flat. I'll even convince Phil to as well!" His hopeful, sparkling eyes almost made me say yes. But I knew I couldn't trust him. Once I stepped back into this room he might still get help, but it wouldn't do anything because I'd still be constantly around him. This would all just get worse the more we were together.

"I would really like to, but I can't. Dan, you wouldn't get better if I stayed around. I think I need to move back to my home."

"Your flat?"

"No...Dan...I mean where my family is. That home. B–But I promise to come back once you guys calm down! It's not like it would be forever. Just for a little while. Okay?" I said, before holding my breath. If I could have any wish in the world, it would just be for him to agree to this.

His eyes that were once hopeful and sparkling dulled, and I saw his fists clench tightly. "You're kidding, right?" He chuckled, knuckles turning white.

"Dan, calm down, it's only temporary–"

"I'm going to die if I don't have you. Are you still going to abandon me?" My eyes widened, watching as his head jerked back and forth and eyes twitched.

"I'm not abandoning you, Dan, we just need space."

"Space? Please...never say that word again...it makes me upset," He slightly giggled, "and when I get upset...I...do things I regret."

"Dan, I–"

"Don't forget, (y/n), we are in love."

"Dan please let me–"

"I'll protect you. I won't be afraid anymore! I'll do everything I can to keep you safe. I'll get rid of all risks that would take you out of my sight."

" _Listen to me!_ " I shouted, "I'm leaving, and that's _final_!" I narrowed my eyes, before looking back out the window. I could climb down as there were parts of the building jutting out. Fear kept me from getting out of there faster.

"You know..." Shivers crawled up my spine, sending goosebumps down my arms. "I always watched you. Every day, anytime, and even when you fall asleep. We will live together from now to before we die, and I will never let you get hurt, so don't worry about anything, okay? You understand me, right? You have too, since you love me."

"Y–You do love me, right? T–Then I'll warn you one last time... _step away from that window._ " I couldn't turn around. If I looked at him, I would lose all strength. His voice was petrifying, and I could feel his presence right behind me.

I swung my body around, preparing to scale down the building, but when I looked into his eyes, I thought of all the times we had together. I thought of everything we've been through. I thought about how he would be all alone without me and Phil. Would he become like he was in high school? Would he give up one life once again?

Was I willing to risk my freedom to keep him happy? He would never get better if I was around, but maybe he was always like this. Maybe there is no getting better. If I leave, I could be causing my family danger. Phil has hurt people, _badly_ , and who says Dan wouldn't do the same? Without another thought I began pulling myself up, deciding that climbing down this building would be too dangerous.

"O–Okay, there you go, j–just let me pull you up." Dan's voice shook, a strained smile on his face as he reached out to grab my hand to pull me up. I reached out to him, deciding that this would all get better, I could help him through this.

You know...I was never the strongest person in the world.

Maybe I should have waited for him to fully grab onto me before I started moving.

I reached out, heart stopping in fear as I felt myself start falling.

"( _Y/N)!"_ I heard his faint scream as my world darkened.

When I re–opened them, everything around me was unfocused, and the voices speaking echoed around me. I felt two different hands holding each of my arms as my body moved on its own. I blinked slowly, head lolling between the two familiar faces.

Was that Phil? I thought he left?

I tried to question him but found myself unable to move. I tried to take a deep breath, but felt what seemed like artificial air choke me. I began coughing violently, before a strange liquid that tasted of metal began filling my mouth. I kept coughing, trying to get it out of my mouth. I heard a slamming sound, and then a loud siren.

" _Help her! I swear to god I'll kill you if you don't help her!"_ I heard Phil's voice, wondering who he was talking about.

" _God, please, don't take her away from me! Don't you dare meddle with the fate of my women! You keep your hands off of her!_ " Dan's voice sounded so broken and desperate. I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but I kept coughing, body shaking violently.

" _Hey! Hey! What's happening to her? Somebody fucking help her!"_ More voices started interlacing together, making my head pound at all the different voices.

I tried to stay awake, I wanted to comfort them, but my body wouldn't respond. I felt my eyes roll to the back of my head as darkness overcame me.


	20. Chapter 20 - Memories

**Your POV**

_I opened my eyes to a foggy scene._

_Where am I?_ **  
**

_"What's your name?"_

_"...Dan..."_

_"Hello, Dan. Do you feel better now?"_

_That's my voice. I...remember this. This was how we met. I lifted my hands, looking downward at their transparent appearance. My gaze turned to the scene before me, noticing that I was there, looking up at the now standing Dan._

_"Cool! Then maybe I'll see you around."_

_"Yeah."_

_He regarded me in such disinterested way, in this moment, he couldn't care less about who I was, who I was going to be. I stepped forward, trying to reach out to him, wanting to tell him what would happen if we knew each other. But, my hand only phased through, and the me of the past returned to her room._

_His eyes still stayed on my door, a dull look on his face. He looked down at his hand, before shaking his head and returning to his own place._

_My vision shifted, and I blinked a few times to refocus._

_"I promised to meet (y/n) at the coffee shop near us!"_

_"Who the hell is (y/n)?"_

_"She's the girl who saved you, Dan!" Phil siled brightly,_ _"I met her in the elevator yesterday, and gave her my number to hang out. I wanted to treat her for helping you."_

_"Why would you do that?" Dan scoffed, "It's not like she's this amazing girl, I bet she's selfish, bitchy, and annoying. Just stay here for the morning." My eyes widened in surprise, not seeing this side of him before._

_But, a small, sad smile made its way onto my face. He doesn't trust anyone. He doesn't know anyone besides Phil. Everyone else in his life had hurt him, abandoning him, to the point where he stood at the top of his school building._

_Once again, my vision became unfocused and blurry, before clearing once again._

_"Hey! I want to try something. A little test to see how much Dan can handle you touching him." Oh, I knew this. I remember him basically forcing us into a hug. But if I can recall, wasn't that the moment when Dan started looking at me a certain way...?_

_"Um, Phil, we kinda just met. It's a little awkward don't you think"_

_After a few more protests from Dan and I, Phil eventually pushed me into him, causing me to stumble and fall. Of course, Dan caught me on reflex. But, he didn't let go. I watched as he slowly wrapped his arms further around me, before resting his chin on my head. We had kept calling his name, but he didn't reply._

_So this is where it began._

_My thoughts became foggy as everything changed again, but I remained in Dan and Phil's apartment. Dan was sitting in the room browsing on his computer, while Phil was a blushing mess, an innocent grin on his face._

_"Hey, Dan, so today I'm going to ask (y/n) out, is that okay?" I choked on air, not believing my ears. Was he going to ask me out? But...what happened? I don't remember him asking me–_

_"No." I blinked._

_"Okay! Thanks, I'm going–wait, what?"_

_"You heard me. No." My heartbeat thumped in my head, not able to process this moment. When had this happened? Perhaps he was still protective of Phil and didn't want him talking to anyone else. Yeah, that would make sense._

_"Yeah, I'd be jealous."_

_"Come on, I'm already your best friend what more could you–"_

_"I'd be jealous of you."_

_My breath caught in my throat, not expecting that answer. I looked around as they continued to speak, looking for the date to understand when this occurred. Eventually I looked at Dan's computer that was now resting on the table. I gasped when I saw the date. This wasn't long after we played video games together. The first time me and Dan hung out._

_"Are you getting in the way?" I froze, hearing the malic in Dan's voice. "You're my best friend, Phil...But I just can't give her to you." Fear clenched my lungs, my hands gripping the couch tightly in alarm._

_"D-Dan please, I think I love her–"_

_"WHAT?"_

_Phil was shaking in fear. Was this where it began? How did I not notice? How could I have been so oblivious?_

_"Phil...why do I feel like hurting you? Phil, I'm scared, I'm scared, imscaredimscaredimscared–"_

_Dan collapsed to the ground sobbing as Phil rushed forward, trying to comfort him. He kept saying how sorry he was, and tears began welling in my own eyes. He didn't want it to be like this. He was scared too._

_Dan, I'm so sorry I didn't notice sooner._

_Now, I was staring down the street at myself. I was walking with grocery bags, minding my own business. Slowly, my eyes trailed over to the tall figure that seemed to be walking in the same direction. I ran forward, jumping in front of him to see his face. As I feared, it was Dan. His eyes were locked on my form, continuing to follow me._

_A man ran into me, knocking the bags out of my hands before yelling at me. I've always been afraid of people raising their voice, and tears unwillingly trailed down my face. I turned back to Dan, wondering what his reaction would be._

_But, before I could see it my vision was shifted to an alley. It was the same man who knocked me over, and Dan somehow got a baseball bat. "No..." I murmured, not wanting to happen what I thought was going to happen._

_Dan raised the bat, and without mercy, slammed it down onto the man. I ran forward, trying to tell him it wasn't necessary, trying to snap him out of it, but I couldn't. He just continued to beat the man until the body didn't move anymore. I screamed, begging him to stop, telling him that this wasn't who he was._

_But yet again, everything faded into a different scene._

_"This was supposed to be perfect."_

_"I know, I know, it's okay. We'll be okay."_

_"We'll be okay."_

_I tried to stay in this place, to warn myself, to make myself leave before it just got worse. But I had no control._

_"H–Hey guys..." Tears fell down my cheeks, knowing when this happened. This was when my hair was cut, and face scratched. I think this was the moment nothing could be stopped anymore. This was the moment they snapped._

_"I can't do this anymore..."_

_"W–What do you mean?"_

_"Obviously the world is against us. Just look at me! I'm damaged mentally and physically, I can't make a living, and I'm probably going to have to move anyways. Dan, I'm breaking up with you."_

_And, Phil walked me home. I prepared to go to a different scene, to recollect more of what led up to them completely losing it. For some reason, I stayed. Dan collapsed to the floor, ripping at his hair with wide, glassy eyes._

_"Haha...haha...hahaAHAHAHAHA!"_

_W–What?_

_"We're meant to be, there's nothing wrong with our relationship. They're the problem. We need to be together. I need you. I know you love me, you just don't know it yet."_

_I wanted to throw up. I propped my hand against the wall, never knowing that this was the moment it all went downhill. I did this to him. I made him like this, didn't I? If I never met him this wouldn't have happened. God, why did it have to be me who saved him in the hallway? I should have minded my own business._

_"One day we'll have a pretty wedding and I'll be your everything. We'll be together forever, we will never ever part. You don't know it yet, but I've already got your heart."_

_I tried to scream, to cry, to do anything to get him to notice me, to know that I'm there. But, no matter what I did he didn't see me. Damn it, why didn't I see this sooner? Us being together isn't right. Obviously, it isn't healthy._

_I blinked, and when I opened them I was in Dan's room, watching as Phil walked into it._

_"You're crazy Dan, this isn't you."_

_Ah. I didn't want to remember the polaroids. I didn't want to remember his camera. I wouldn't mind forgetting this. They continued to argue, Phil accusing Dan of falling into an obsession._

_"Dan! She will **never love you**!"_

_My breath caught in my throat. I didn't expect that._

_"Haha...ha...Phil is being unreasonable...Dan needs to wake Phil up...yeah...I need to wake him up..."_

_"Dan, I'm going to call somebody, this is out of hand. I'm beyond worried."_

_"No, you're not going to do anything."_

_I cried out in shock when Dan rushed forward with his arms reaching out. I ran toward the scene, wanting to stop him, but I couldn't. I felt so helpless as Phil was choked into an unconscious state._

_Dan's screaming was the only thing I heard before my vision changed once again. But this time everything was a blur, speeding past my sight. Memories that weren't mine were being remembered, and I watched without any ability to help as things only got worse._

_Why did I go to them? I shouldn't have gone to them for help._

_From Dan washing me down to Phil sneaking out constantly, everything was so suspicious and I had been too oblivious._

_"Something isn't right with you, Phil. That's messed up, and so unlike you. Even _I_ , I wouldn't be able to _fucking **murder** someone!_"_

_..._

_Did I...did I hear that correctly?_

_No..._

_Right as I convinced myself what I heard was wrong, I felt my stomach churning at the sight before me._

_"Stop! Phil! Please! Don't do this to them!" I cried out, but it was no use as he led the woman into the alleyway. She leaned in for a kiss._

_"PHIL! NO!" I screeched, running so I was behind the woman, hoping he would see me. "PLEASE!" I screamed as he plunged the blade into her back, pushing her onto the floor as she begged him to stop._

_"P-Please d-don't do this! I promise I'll give you everything! I-I don't know your friends but I'll go and apologize and–"_

_I fell onto my knees, feeling the need to vomit but unable to do so._

_H–Her head...isn't...attached..._

_My mind was blank, unable to process what had happened. I wanted it to be over. I don't need to see anymore._

_"W–What are y–you going to do?"_

_"Oh, nothing too bad."_

_I closed my eyes, trying to block out the screams as he scalped the girl who had cut my hair. I opened my eyes to see if it was over, but it wasn't. He made it as painful as possible. He stabbed their feet, hacked at the back of their knees. And, after breaking their bones, he finally ended them with a slice to the throat._

_I sobbed, shrieking for it to stop. I grabbed my head and shook it back and forth, wanting to erase the images from my mind. I gasped for air, hiccupping through the tears. "...no more..." I whispered, gripping my hair and tugging at it._

_My body shook._

_A bright, white light slowly began crumbling the scene I was seeing._

_..._

_Is this...a hospital?_

*********

****My eyes adjusted to the bright light, rolling side to side to figure out where I was. I groaned, trying to sit up. But I felt hands holding me down. What's happening? Why am I being held down?

"Doctor! Doctor, she's awake!"

"Shit...what the hell!? Anesthesia, NOW!"

I tried sitting up once again, brain foggy from what I had just seen.

What I had just seen...

"NO! LET ME GO! I HAVE TO SAVE THEM!" I screamed, thrashing as much as I could. "HE KILLED THEM!" I screeched, fighting the hands that held me back. My arms were useless, so I resorted to using my legs.

My...legs...

W–What...?

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?" I bellowed, struggling even harder.

"Hold her down! She's reacting badly to the anesthesia!"

"God damn it."

I cried, looking down at my legs.

The air that I was breathing suddenly tasted different. And my mind returned to that foggy state it was in before.

Stay awake, (y/n).

Please...

Stay....awake...

**Dan POV**

It had been days since we heard from the hospital. Was (y/n) okay? Did the surgery go well? I gripped at my hair, regretting too many things. I pushed her off the edge. No, not literally, but she would not have climbed out there in the first place if I hadn't been so obsessive and...crazy.

Depression had hit me heard, immense pain filing every moment of my life. If she didn't make it, then I wouldn't be able to go on. I don't think Phil would either.

At least our fans all supported her. I had stated vaguely on twitter that she had to go into life–threatening surgery, and that everyone should hope for the best. I promised once we saw her again we would update so they wouldn't worry anymore.

At the moment I was clearing out everything in my room, getting rid of the items, polaroid's, and anything that had to do with her. It was for the best. But that doesn't mean it wasn't hard. Of course, I kept the necklace.

It felt like the only thing that kept us together.

I swore that if she came back, I wouldn't be how I was. I know I can't change completely. I know I'll probably be a jealous, protective mess. But, as long as she isn't hurt, as long as she isn't uncomfortable, it will be okay. It will be a learning process. It will take time. But I'm willing to do that for (y/n).

Phil hasn't left his room. The only reason I have was to sit by the phone, waiting for the call. I think Phil regrets his action, but don't know to what extent.

My thoughts were halted by a ringing noise.

...

"Phil! Get the fuck out here!" I yelled, only for him to slowly come out of the room, looking at me with an irritated expression.

"What?" He snapped, but then heard what I was hearing. He immediately rushed forward, grabbing onto my shoulder and looking me in the eye. We both stared at each other before I reached for the phone with a shaking hand.

"H–Hello?" I said.

"Hello, Mr. Howell. We thought you would like to know that the surgery went well, and (y/n) has woken up today. If you would like to visit we are open from–"

"I'll be right there!" I shoved the phone back where it belonged, before looking at Phil with a wide grin. "She's awake, Phil, she's awake!" I said, basically jumping up and down in excitement. His eyes lit up, and for the first time in a long time, I saw the innocent light return to his eyes. As though he's finally himself again.

"Well let's go!" He grabbed my hand, pulling me toward the door.

"Wait! I look like shit!"

"You look fine, Dan." He smiled at me. It was a real, genuine smile. I grinned back, slipping on my shoes.

"Okay, let's go!"

**Your POV**

I sat up quickly, eyes darting around me. I couldn't breathe. _I couldn't breathe._ I flailed my arms, trying to grab at anything to protect myself.

A loud beeping sound continued to ring in my ears, and before I knew it hands were once again holding me down. "Honey, please relax!" A soothing voice made its way into my head. I felt soft, dainty arms wrap around me, trying to hold me still. After a few moments of struggling the panic faded.

I took a deep breath, before finally looking at who had comforted me. It was a woman dressed in white clad. Age showed on her face, but the sparkling kindness in her eyes made her seem younger. She smiled up at me, before standing up, then sitting down next to the bed I was lying on.

I tilted my head, noticing that I was clearly in a hospital room. The walls were white, with beautiful flowers in a vase on a table next to the bed. There was a window, and suddenly my heartbeat picked up once again. "Close the window." I breathed shakily, covering my eyes to shield myself from the memory.

She complied, closing the drapes as well. It was late.

"How are you feeling?"

"Okay...I guess." I said, "But stiff, guess I haven't moved in a while right?" I stretched, before swinging my legs over the side of the mat.

...

W–What?

My vision clouded over as the woman started calling my name. How did she know my name? Terror clenched my throat as tears started falling down my face. "What happened to me...?"

"Sweetie, this had to be done to save your life."

And then I finally lost it.

I don't know how long I sobbed for, how long I screamed that it was unfair. Why did this have to happen? Why _me?_ What did I do to deserve this? I grabbed the vase and threw it as hard as I could, watching it shatter into pieces when it hit the wall.

"Please calm down! We can explain the procedure in detail, and what would have happened if we didn't go through with it. I'm so sorry..." I saw tears well up in the woman's eyes, and suddenly I realized she probably didn't want this to happen either. Despite not knowing me, this was something no one should go through.

"How will I walk...?"

"You will be in a wheelchair until we can create mechanical legs to replace what you had before. Hopefully, it will replicate the feeling of real legs."

"I never...who...why...I don't deserve this, do I?" I said, desperation lacing my words.

"No, honey, nobody deserves this. I'm so sorry, but this was the only way to save your life."

"Do Dan and Phil know?" I said.

"Oh, the gentleman who brought you here? Well, they seemed to care for you very dearly. Unfortunately, we had to escort them from the facility as they refused to leave your side, threatening the doctors. Even though they knew you would take part in life-saving surgery, they wouldn't know the details."

"Do not worry though, when you woke up I informed the nurses to contact them so they can support you through this tough time." She smiled gently, "Oh, and by the way, just call me Mrs. Penelope. I'll be taking care of you through your stay."

I looked up at her, feeling detached from my mind. I smiled hesitantly, wondering if maybe this incident had snapped Dan and Phil out of it.

I hope when they saw me they wouldn't blame the doctors. It wasn't their fault; they were just trying to save me. Even though it had to happen in such a way.

"Thank you," I said, nodding at her and shifting back into bed, covering myself with the warm blanket. "I would like some alone time if that is okay."

"It's no problem. Please get a good rest, dear."

And the door shut.


	21. Chapter 21 - The Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uploading the rest today-including both endings-sorry for the wait

**Your POV**

My eyes trailed across the ceiling, pondering on what I should do once they come. It was a difficult choice. A choice I wasn't ready to make. It would take courage to go either path, to accept them, or to reject them. I could hope that they have changed, but what they had done still remains.

I feel sorrow just thinking about the lost lives, despite them have all been people who hurt me or Dan. Did Phil regret it? I don't know. He doesn't even know that I know. Maybe it was all a fever dream, something that wasn't real and my mind made up to fear them. But part of me also thought of the logic behind it. I mean, why else would he return with a blade?

I sighed, rolling over, tears silently falling down my cheeks. "I don't deserve this," I mumbled, hugging myself for comfort. What was life going to be like after this? I could only hope for a happy ending to this. I looked down at the stumps that were my legs, feeling helpless. A part of me wanted to hate the two because they were the reason I wanted to climb out the window in the first place. But, it was also my choice to do so.

God. And they don't even know what the surgery was for. How would they react? It's bad that I'm afraid. I shouldn't be afraid. They've never hurt me...purposefully. I don't want to keep thinking it but it was partly their fault that I fell. I was pushed to that point.

I heard knocking.

"Hello?" I said, sitting back up and adjusting the blanket so it would cover me from the waist down.

"(Y/n)! Is that you?" I heard an excited voice. I smiled slightly, but still felt a pang of fear in my chest.

"Yes, come in."

Instantly I saw the two barge in, Dan with his hobbit hair, and Phil with his bright eyes. I haven't see the light in Phil's eyes for who knows how long. They both froze, staring at me. "I'm here," I chuckled, "I'm alive." At my words, the two rushed forward, before suffocating me in their hugs without letting up.

"I'm sorry! (Y/n)! I can't believe I put you through this! God, I feel horrible! I let my insecurities take control of me and...and I just didn't know what to do!"

"Me too. I'm ashamed of everything I have done. I will never do it again if you ask me not too."

They continued to ramble, begging me for forgiveness and consoling me. I leaned back so I could face them, before realizing what I had to tell them. Why was I put in these difficult positions? A few months ago I was minding my own business, newly moved in. I missed my family. I missed my home.

"What's wrong?" Dan said, concern pulling his lips into a frown. I wiped away the tears, not wanting to fall into deeper sadness.

"It's just...I'm so overwhelmed."

"You have reason to be. You f–f–f–fell..." Dan trailed off, struggling to finish the sentence. My gaze softened, watching him fight himself. I could tell he didn't want to come to terms with what happened. He sighed, rubbing the back of his head. "No. You fell. It was my f–fault." He choked at the end, eyes glistening.

I didn't say anything. I couldn't say it wasn't because, in reality, it was. He body was tense, eyes looking over me for some kind of reassurance. "Don't worry, I...I will forgive you. Just, maybe not right now. I need time to process everything you two have done." They nodded, looking ashamed of themselves. I smiled gently, not wanting them to flip out when I had to show them what happened to me. "You know, I'm quite thirsty, could you get me the water by my bed?"

"Of course," Phil said, looking at me curiously. I knew that if I was like before I would just shift to the side, and reach for it. But my arms alone aren't long enough to grab it without falling out of the bed. Sadly, I wouldn't be able to catch myself. He handed me the cup and I grabbed it thankfully. "You seem well."

I almost snorted. "As well as I can be. I think I'm just in shock."

"I understand. You did fall from a high place–"

Somebody knocked on the door, and I saw Dan glare at it. I looked at him warily, and he seemed to notice. "Sorry," He mumbled.

"(Y/n), we need to get measurements." Mrs. Penelope walked in, before looking at the two boys next to me. "Oh, is this a bad time?" She tilted her head, but I waved my hand.

"No, you're fine. The faster we get the measurements the faster I'm back on my feet." She nodded, walking past the two before looking at me worriedly.

"Did you...tell them yet?" Dan's head jerked towards me and her, prying with his eyes. I sighed, knowing this won't be good.

"Well, they were going to find out eventually." I rubbed my face. I should be more worried about myself, not how they'll react. I guess I'm afraid. A deep, insecure part of me thought they wouldn't want to be near me anymore. I'd just be a handicap. But, that would also be a good thing. Even if I'd be all alone.

Mrs. Penelope nodded slowly, before pulling the blanket off of me. I took a sharp breath, afraid to look at their reactions.

It was silent.

**Dan POV**

****I heard a knock on the door and immediately glared at it. We just get reunited and somebody's already interrupting? I softened my gaze when I saw the look (y/n) was giving me. "Sorry," I said, looking away sheepishly.

"(Y/n), we need to get measurements." An older woman walked in, dressed as a nurse. "Oh, is this a bad time?" I wanted to say yes but curiosity got the better of me. Measurements for what?

"No, you're fine. The faster we get the measurements the faster I'm back on my feet." I blinked. What the hell is she talking about?

"Did you...tell them yet?" I felt my heart thump in my ears. What does she mean? Is (y/n) okay? Don't tell me the fucking doctors did something to her.

"Well, they were going to find out eventually." I looked over to Phil, watching as his gaze stayed bright, curiosity filling them.

The woman grabbed the blanket and I felt my protective urges take over. I didn't want her to be touched. She was nurse, Dan, she wouldn't hurt her–

My mind went blank.

Then my breathing turned into panting.

"Is...is this a joke?" I laughed, trying to calm myself down. No, this couldn't be. (Y/n) is pranking us for revenge. Of course, she wouldn't  _actually_ lose her legs. Right? Right!?

"Dan this was the only way to save my life. When I fell from the building I landed on my feet...When they were doing the surgery they were trying to...they didn't want this...they had to...understand."

I wasn't listening fully. My world spun. I backed away from the bed, staring at the place where her legs should be. I grabbed my head, hearing the echoing voices taunting me, telling me it was all my fault. It was all my fault. I did this to her. To the one I love. I felt hands grabbing me, shaking me. I pushed them away, my back crashing into something. I didn't care.

I'm a horrible person. I took away her ability to walk, to run.

             _But then again, now she can't run away._

As soon as the thought entered my mind I wanted to slam my head against the wall, hating that it was a part of me. Maybe if I kept hitting my head it would eventually go away. Before I could do it I was pulled back. I frantically lashed out, looking around as panic gripped my heart. Where am I going?

My hazy vision landed on her. Her (h/c) hair, her (s/c) skin, and her bright (e/c) eyes. I Lunged forward, wrapping her in my embrace. "I'm so sorry! I'm sorry...you don't deserve this! I...I..." I cried, holding her close to me. Soon I felt two other arms wrap around us.

"Dan, I'll be okay. I can adapt. And, they're getting me prosthetics! Sure, they won't really help me walk, but I'll look just like I used to."

"I don't care about that!" I spat, "Doesn't matter if you're old, deformed, burned, scarred. I will always be here for you! God, I wish I could take away your pain. It's all my fault."

"It's also my fault. I'm so, so sorry." I heard Phil's voice as I began to calm down. I had to be strong for her.

I had to be strong.

****  **(le time skip so I don't have to write boring fillers~)**

**Your POV**

****Today is the day I'm finally discharged. And today is the day I have to make a choice. Every day Dan and Phil have been bringing me gifts, taking care of me. Dan would wheel me around the halls, avoiding anyone that got too close to me. It's progress. He's letting me talk to other people so that's good.

Phil had come in a week back and got a picture with the three of us in it. He posted it to his twitter and told everyone that I was okay. Despite the overwhelming pity and sadness that I now have stumps for legs, everyone was very supportive.

Honestly, everything was going well. Better than I thought it would go. That doesn't mean that I still didn't struggle. My family reacted overwhelmingly. They had no idea what happened and I didn't go into detail. They understood, but that doesn't mean they were happy.

Over the past few weeks, I've been texting and calling my family. They were kind to be strong for me. But I knew how much this affected them too. They wanted me to return home, so we could get through this together.

I still haven't made up my mind.

But today is the day I have too because once I return with Dan and Phil, there won't be a possibility for leaving. I feel sad because I would miss them. But, they still are dangerous. They could snap back into that crazy state again at any moment.

What do I do?

"(Y/n)!" Dan pounced on me, hugging me tightly and snuggling into me. "You're getting discharged! I'm so excited! Yes!" He cheered, before completely lifting me out of the bed and spinning me around.

"Dan! I'm not a ragdoll," I laughed, "I haven't even put on the prosthetics yet!" He rolled his eyes, before plopping me down onto the bed.

"I've got so many plans!" He jumped as Phil walked in, grinning.

"I've taken care of everything. Just hop into the wheelchair and we're ready to go." Phil smiled gently, now standing next to Dan.

I looked at them both.

God, what do I say? I'm still afraid. Can I put everything that they've done behind me? Can I really do that?

I have to make a choice.

I opened my mouth to speak.

**End 1: Home**

"Actually, I..."

**End 2: Stay**

"Alright, let's go."


	22. End 1 - Home

**Your POV**

****"Actually, I..." I rubbed the back of my head, "My family wants me to go back home to them. I at least owe them that. So..." I coughed awkwardly, avoiding their eyes. I looked up, trying to read their faces. I wanted them to be calm. Though, I was basically saying goodbye. It's hard, I want to cry. After all we've been through, it's time for me to leave.

I should have left a long time ago.

"So you're going to visit your family then come back?" Dan tilted his head, eyes still sparkling.

"Uh...no. I–I'm afraid not. I...this is...probably a goodbye? I mean...yeah. I think it's time I go home." I nodded, convincing myself as I spoke. My vision became blurry as tears started welling in my eyes. I blinked, quickly wiping the liquid away. Strong. I had to be strong. This is for the best.

"Oh."

I looked up.

**Dan POV**

"O–Of course...you would want to leave...haha..." I looked down, rubbing the back of my head and biting my lip. "I don't blame you. You've even lost mobility because of us." Tears poured from my eyes, but I hastily rubbed them away. But they kept coming. I sniffed, trying to stop them from falling. But they keep falling.

"Dan..." Her soft, sweet voice. Is this the last time I'll hear it? Is this really goodbye? This is all my fault. I drove her away.

"I­–I'm fine! You need to see your family...they deserve to see you." I choked, every word breaking my heart into more pieces. I needed to take this well. This was for her. I looked over to Phil, watching his blank expression with caution.

A small smile form on his lips. "We can take you to the airport." Phil nods at her, but something felt off about his smile.

I shook my head. It was nothing. I'm being paranoid.

"Thank you." (Y/n) lowers her head, brushing her (h/c) hair behind her ear. Phil briskly walked past me, lifting her up gently and placing her in the wheelchair. His blue eyes met mine. Why did he look angry?

******

I exited through the door, walking towards the edge of the building. It was beautiful. The sun was lowering as colors filled the once bland sky. I smiled, lifting my phone and taking a picture, before sending it to (y/n).

_Dan:_

_thinkin of u_

_(Y/n):_

_Aw, I think of me too. Pretty sunset! It's all cloudy here ;(_

I smiled down at the text. Thankfully before she left I managed to convince her to keep in contact. Though, she hasn't mentioned the idea of visiting. I can understand. Even though I miss her beautiful (e/c) eyes, and (h/c) locks, being with her family is best.

I feel like I've grown in that sense. If you love someone, let them go. Even if it pains you more than anything has before.

_Dan:_

_lol. unfortunate._

I could practically see her rolling her eyes.

_(Y/n):_

_Aw, don't be mean. I'll cry ;-;_

_Dan:_

_n o o o dun cry_

We kept texting until the sun finally fell behind the horizon. A strange feeling of content washed over me, leaving a serene peace. All though she isn't here right now, I know we will meet again one day. We  _are_ meant to be.

I chuckled at those words. "I really was crazy," I sighed, resting my arms on the railing. I closed my eyes, feeling the wind run its fingers threw my hair.

"I have to agree with you there." I spun around, heart beating rapidly. It immediately calmed when I noticed it was Phil.

"You scared me!" I grinned, before turning back to the star filled sky. "Isn't it pretty?" I rested my chin on my palm.

"Reminds me of someone," Phil's footsteps get louder and louder, till' he was standing right next to me. I watched his dark fringe slowly flowing to the side, his sad eyes staring forward. "I...I miss her."  
"Me too. We'll just have to wait and see when she'll be ready to come back."

"But what if she doesn't?" Phil's eyes bore into mine, and I noticed the dark circles under his eyes. It was strange. It's been a while since (y/n) has left and yet Phil is still broken. He can't sleep and even when he does its filled with night terrors. I thought it would be me who would fall into depression when she left, but it was him.

"Well...as much as I hate to say it...that's her choice." My brown eyes once again faced the night sky, "we can't force her to come back. So all we can do is wait."

Phil remained silent. I turned to him once again, watching his stoic expression. It was so strange seeing him like this. Usually, it was me who would need to be cheered up. I tried to think of something, anything, to bring him back to his normal self.

"Have you been texting her?"

"It's not the same." He rubbed his face, before pulling out his phone. "It's...not the same." He breathed. The way his brows were slowly furrowing, and how his eyes were subtly widening showed that his mind was turning. He slowly looked to me, before resting his fist against his chin.

"What is it? Something on my face?" I joked, trying to dissolve the tense atmosphere. He just kept staring. I kept looking away, not wanting to meet his intense gaze.

"No. I just thought of an idea."

"What kind of idea?" Something in my mind told me to tread cautiously over the next few sentences. Whatever he was thinking about gave him that look in his eyes...that...that look he would hold when he lost all rational thinking.

"An idea on how to get (y/n) to come back, and stay."

"Phil, I don't–I don't think we should go down that path again. It didn't end well. Let's just go back inside and think this through–"

"I'm still holding a grudge."

"About what?"

"You let her leave."

I froze. Shivers crawled up my spine before latching onto my throat.

"P–Phil don't be unreasonable."

"Unreasonable? I'm being perfectly reasonable. She  _literally_ couldn't run away this time! I would finally be able to protect her!  _We_ would be able too!"

"P–Please c–calm d–d–down." I stuttered out, backing away from his form. This was not the time to remember what he was capable of. This was not the time to remember everything he did. Oh god. Oh god, I'm shaking.

"I think the least you could do is help me get her to come back."

"Phil! I'm not doing any of that shit again! Snap out of it." I waved my hands in rapid motions, trying to get across my reluctance. I wished the sun was still up. I couldn't read his expression. All I could see was his looming figure stalking towards me.

"Dan, I'm so sorry you've been so sad since she's left," He smiled gently, "I can't believe you would hide your overwhelming sadness from me!"

"Uh...what?"

"You should have told me," He feigned sorrow, "I could have stopped you from making such a rash decision."

"Where are you going with this?"

"It's just like high school when I saved you. Oh, I'm so broken hearted. I can't believe this time I couldn't."

"What?"

Before I could react he had run towards me, pinning me against the flimsy railing with strong arms. "Dan! Don't do it!" He yelled like he was so concerned and desperate, but the maniacal grin on his face told otherwise.

"Phil? What the hell–"

I felt myself being pushed backwards. My eyes widened in horror at what he was doing. "Oh, my dear best friend, how could this happen?" I started struggling against him, trying to get away and run. He was always stronger than me.

"Phil! STOP!" I screamed, kicked and flailing as I felt myself being pushed backward. I latched onto him, trying to stop him.

"Goodbye, Dan."

I screamed, falling backwards into the busy streets. I thought about everything that has led up to this moment, the mistakes I made, the wonderful times, and how much I would miss living.

Reaching forward, I thought maybe he would somehow save me, but I knew nothing would work.

And everything went black.

For the last time.

**Your POV**

****"You're getting better every day!" My mom cheered, patting me on the back as I wobbled around using my crutches. I couldn't go very fast, but at least I was able to be upright. I beamed happily.

"(Y/n), your phone is ringing." She turned around, before handing me my device. I slowly sat down in the wheelchair, before staring down at the contact. Phil? Why was he calling me? I shrugged, before answering.

"Hello?"

"(Y–Y/n)...D–Dan just...he just..." His breathing was shallow, and his voice stuttering out of control.

"Phil? Phil, what happened?" My brows furrowed.

"I–I tried...I tried to stop him! I...I wasn't fast enough!" He was sobbing now. I sat up straight, and my mother stared at me with worry.

"Phil. What happened?"

"He...he jumped...I couldn't...I couldn't save him this time...I called the police...there's no way he could survive this fall..."

The phone fell out of my hand.

Bile rose in my throat.

Everything around me started spinning as the words rung in my head. I rested my hands against my head, shock halting my thoughts.

"(Y/n)? What was that? Are you okay? Honey?!"

He seemed fine. He was texting me and he was happy.

The sunset he sent me...

Oh.  _Oh_.

Was that his goodbye? Was this all my fault? If I just stayed, then maybe he wouldn't have been pushed over the edge. Oh, this was my fault.

I slowly bent down and picked back up the phone, before lifting it to my ear. "Please come. Please! I need you right now. I don't...I don't...I'm alone and...he just..."

"I'm coming now."

*****

The wind whipped around me, rain pelting me in the face. I stared forward, watching the coffin being lowered into the ground. No tears fell. I was out of tears to cry. I looked up at Phil, who had a wounded look. I lifted my hand and grabbed his, pulling it off of the handle that was pushing my wheelchair. I didn't say anything.

This was much more painful for him than it was for me. They were best friends. I looked back down, watching as it was buried. Phil thought it was best that we don't reveal the location of the burial. His fans were mourning, as was all of YouTube. This death shook everyone.

Soon the ceremony was finished, and Phil left me to be alone while he payed respects to Dan's parents. I looked down at my hands. I shouldn't feel guilty. It wasn't my fault. I couldn't have stopped this. But inside of me knew. If I didn't leave, this wouldn't have happened. It was my fault.

I could have stopped this.

I gazed up at the cloudy sky not caring that my hair and clothing were soaked. Some dark, angry part of me thought that maybe he deserved this for everything that he's done to me. But I shake the thought away because he definitely didn't deserve death.

Looking down, I felt the weight of the situation pulling me down. Will I be able to live with this guilt?

"(Y/n)." I didn't move. "It isn't your fault."

"Of course it is!" I spun my head around, tears welling in my eyes. "If I stayed, this wouldn't have happened! He was probably suffering without anyone knowing! Hell, even I didn't know." Phil stared down at me, his bright blue eyes dark with grief. He didn't say anything else. He blamed me too, didn't he?

"It was his choice in the end." His voice cracked, shoulders shaking. "Oh god...what have I done?"

"Phil, you did your best to save him."

"No!" He spat, "No, I didn't. I'm a horrible, awful person."

"We have to be strong!" I yelled back, turning the wheels so I was facing him fully. "Dan...we...he's been struggling for so long. I think I may have given him the hope of interaction again, but then I ripped it away. I took away his last chance at normal life." I sobbed, "So he took his life in return."

"(Y/n). Please..." I watched him collapse to his knees, holding his head in his hands. "I think...I think I..." His head shot up, his gaze piercing. "I've just realized what I've done."

"Phil?"

"Fuck...I...I didn't think it through. I was lost in the moment and...oh god." He gripped the ground, sinking his fingers into the dirt. My heart thumped.

"What do you mean?"

"I...I loved him...he was my best friend. How could I have done this to him?" His head started jerking, eyes twitching upwards. "(Y/n), go."

"W–What? I can't leave you like this!"

"GO!" He screamed, "GET AWAY FROM ME!"

My wheels were stuck in the mud. I couldn't go if I wanted to.

"Police...I need the POLICE! SOMEBODY CALL 911!" He screamed, gripping his hair, "DON'T LET ME HURT ANYONE ELSE!" He roared, and suddenly all eyes were on him. They sadly turned away, thinking it was grief. No. I knew this side of him.

"Phil...was it you?"

He grinned menacingly, before snapping out of it. "Go. Leave. Please! I'm losing my mind! CALL SOMEBODY!" I quickly pulled out my phone, not having to think twice.

"Hello this is 911, what's your emergency?"

My mind was blank. I tried to speak, but couldn't.

"Hello?"

"A murderer."

"Miss, what's going on?"

My chest heaved, panic sinking in. "PHIL!" I screamed, "HOW COULD YOU?" The pieces connected.

"Miss?! Do you need assistance?"

"He's insane. Oh god, he killed multiple people!"

"We are tracking your phone. Please calm down and tell me what is happening."

"I can't–I can't walk! I don't–I can't run. He killed his best friend, he killed two women, and a man." I managed to get the words out, "He admitted to it! Come! QUICKLY!" I looked up at the people, my hands shaking so badly the phone dropped out of my hand. I watched people leaving, thinking he needed peace.

It was safer for them to leave. But now I'm alone. With this  _psychopath_.

"...did you call?"

I nodded, throat clenched leaving me mute.

"..." His head raised, cloudy eyes meeting mine. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry? SORRY? Say that to Dan! Oh wait, he's fucking DEAD!" I bawled, wanting him to feel the pain of his actions.

"I–I wasn't in my right mind! I couldn't control it!"

"Yeah right." I scoffed, "everything was finally going back too normal and–and you go and  _ruin_  it!"

"L–Let me explain–"

"What is there to explain!?" I said, the rain showering harder. "You killed Dan! You tricked me! I–I should have told somebody all that you had done."

"You knew?"

"I didn't, but I had this dream and it made everything make sense. I thought I was crazy. I thought it couldn't be true! But now, now I see it's just you. Phil Lester, a murderer, and a psychopath."

"I thought I was doing the right thing!"

"Well, you thought wrong!" I heard sirens pulling up.

"B–But...I–I love you! Please! Give me a chance to explain!"

"No.  _I hate you_!" I cried, pointing at his quivering form.

He laughed. 

"You don't! I did all of this for you! For us!" His maniacal laughter echoed. "You don't see it yet!" He stood up, before stalking towards me. I tried to get away, but ended up falling into the mud. I've never wanted the ability to run more than now. "Aw, you can't run? What a shame." He cooed, and my eyes widened.

I was petrified.

Doors slammed in the distance.

"SAVE ME!" I screeched, dragging myself away from him. I was swooped off the ground into the arms of Phil, leaving my prosthetics behind. "LET GO!" I squirmed, but his grip was firm.

"Let's go back to the flat."

I waved rapidly, signaling the officers. I screamed as loud as I could, struggling to get out of his grip. "Stop. Moving." He growled out, eyes blazing with madness.

"Freeze!"

Phil looked up, raising his brow. "Hm?"

"Save me!" I sobbed, reaching towards them desperately.

"Aw, are you scared of them, (y/n)? Let me save you from them!" He grinned down at me as I continued to fight him.

"Put her down!" I heard the clicking of a gun.

"NO!" Phil roared, "She's  _mine!_ " He turned on his heal and started running, wind and rain pelting against us.

He sprinted until he was yanked backward. I was pulled out of his arms while he thrashed wildly. "Let me go!" He yelled, swinging his fists and kicking his legs. Eventually, they had him held down, pinning him to the ground and injecting some type of liquid.

He struggled for a bit longer, before becoming completely still.

I breathed heavily, clutching onto the man holding me desperately. "H–He tried to...and then...they found me...and–and–"

"We've got you now. You're safe." My eyes slowly closed as I continued begging to be saved, rambling on until darkness overcame me.

*****

**Phil POV**

****I opened my eyes.

All I can see is white.

I slowly sat up, cautiously looking around. "Hello?" I called.

I reached up to scratch my head but found myself unable to do so. I looked down and saw that my arms were bound by a strange jacket. Was I wearing a straightjacket? I looked around, noticing that the walls were in fact padded. I stood up, walking around the room.

A knock on the door awoke me from my trance. I watched as the heavy door was pushed open before a security man and a woman walked in. I stared at them blankly, before tilting my head as I recollected the moments before I woke up. Huh, they really did lock me up. That's kind of funny.

"Phil Lester?" I nodded. She wrote something down, before gesturing for me to sit down. I listened, leaning against the wall. She did the same but on the opposite side. She brushed her curly, ugly brown hair behind her ears. I looked at her eyes, comparing their eye color to (y/n)'s. Everyone is ugly compared to her.

"Do you know why you're here?"

I didn't move.

"Well, you've been convicted of murder and been placed here after deciding it was unsafe for you to be around others."

"So you're saying I'm insane?" I had already known that. Once I get too angry it's like I detach from my mind, and act without thinking.

"We don't like using those words, Lester. We still have not diagnosed your condition as we need to talk to you personally. We got a lot of information from (y/n) (l/n)–"

"(Y/n)? Is she okay? Where is she? Can I see her?" I leaned forward, widening my eyes in hope. "I swear to  _god_ if any of you hurt her I'll rip your fucking throats out!" I growled out, unable to regulate the words coming out of my mouth. She quickly wrote something down again before looking back up.

"I assure you, Lester, that she is safe. She is being taken care of by therapists and–"

"Male?"

"Gender should not matter–"

" _Male?_ "

She looked up at me, a flash of wariness crossing her face.

"Some of the people making sure she is safe are male."

My body without my permission started struggling in the jacket, trying to break free and strangle her. "No! They'll hurt her! Anyone that's not me will  _hurt her_!" I snarled, thrashing in my restraints.

"I guarantee you that she is completely safe–"

"Bullshit. Let me see her!" I said, anger starting to take over my mind.

"I'm afraid we can't let you see her, Lester, as you are not in your right mind."

"Let. Me. See. Her.  ** _NOW!_** " I roared, thrashing towards her. I smirked mentally when I saw her fearful expression, but she sat still, standing her ground.

"That is impossible at the moment. So please relax." She looked back down and wrote some more, before crossing her arms and staring at me. I felt my eye start twitching.

"I–I–Impossible? Hah." I scoffed, feeling my head twitch. "I'm starting to get angry. Ha...ha..." I grinned. "You should leave."

She sighed, before standing up. I was surprised she actually listened. She said something about a schedule but I was too busy ignoring her to care.

I lay down, staring back up at the ceiling.

Is this my life now?

*****

I stopped counting the days I've been here. It's been so long that I've grown accustomed to the white walls of the room. The only thing keeping me from losing it was the hope that I would see (y/n) again. All though, remembering what I did to Dan has really been messing with my mind. Grief hits me in waves, and I sob for hours on hours when it knocks.

The door creaked open.

I rolled my eyes, preparing for the ugly woman, whom I never bothered to learn the name of. But instead, the security guard that usually follows her walks in. I raise my brow, questioning his actions.

"I was told to watch you for a little bit until Ms. Walker comes for your session."

I groaned in annoyance, which I could tell irked the man.

"God, I hate being around these freaks." I heard him mutter, probably thinking I didn't hear him. But I did.

"That's not nice." I pretended to be hurt.

"I think you're the worst. I can't believe you still think you're going to see that girl again."

"Hm?"

"She's a pretty one. I can see why you're so crazy over her." He laughed at his own joke, before looking back at me. "Since you're never getting out of this mad house I'll take care of her for you."

I slowly lifted my head, staring at him. "What did you just say?"

"Whoa," He lifted his hands, "Oh no, I'm so scared. What are you going to do, yell at me? I wonder how mad I can get you before you start screaming." He grinned tauntingly, crossing his arms.

My breathing steadied, forgetting his sentence from earlier. I should just ignore him. He's just some human scum.

"I bet me and, (y/n), is it? We'll have a great time together." He sighed, and I tried to tell myself he was trying to get a reaction. He wanted me to flip out, so I can't give him what he wants. "Poor girl, losing her legs like that. Such a shame. I bet she had really nice ones too."

"Stop," I said. My chest started heaving.

"Aw, offended?"

"P–Please just..." I needed to control myself. I can't lose control.

"She seems so innocent, but I bet underneath she's into some slutty shit."

_I can't lose control._

I tried tuning him out but he kept talking. He wouldn't stop. He wouldn't leave me alone.

"Probably a whore too. Think she'd let me in on that?"

I froze.

"Wonder how easy it would be to just leave afterward too. She seems so broken so obviously, it can't get any worse–"

 _Snap_.

His eyes widened. I lifted my hands, watching my now free arms in awe. Before he could react I had lunged forward, lifting my hands towards him. My hands securely wrapped around his neck, tightening to the point of suffocation.

He clawed at my hands, but I only grinned in return. "You deserve this. You deserve this. Die.  _Die. **DIE.**_ " I roared, watching as he weakened little by little.

And soon, he fell limp.

I kicked his body, laughing. I grabbed his pass and keys.

"I'm coming to save you, (y/n)!"

**Your POV**

****I picked up my phone, groggily wiping my eyes. I watched the time ticking by, feeling choked by the numbers. Quickly, I grabbed a bottle from besides my bed, plopping a pill in my mouth before drinking water.

At the moment I was in a new apartment close to all the resources I needed. I also had a constant caregiver who was assigned to me after everything that happened. My parents were informed that I would be under protection for the time being and couldn't travel, which made them beyond concerned.

I sat up so I was leaning against the wall, looking around the almost pitch black room. My thoughts swirled, unable to forget the horrifying things I was put through.

Now, Dan was dead.

I never stopped loving him, despite his craziness. Even though I would probably never be able to be with him because of it. I can't even test my theory now, because he's gone.

My phone rang. I picked it up and held it to my ear.

"Hello–"

"(Y/n) (L/n)?" The voice sounded panicked.

"Yes, that is me."

"You will soon be transferred to a safer place. Your caregiver will give you the details."

"What's going on?"

"He escaped."

My heart dropped as the door opened, revealing the woman taking care of me. I quickly began putting on my prosthetics, looking up at her in fear. "Could you help me–"

She collapsed. I stared in shock until I noticed the blade protruding from her back. "No...no–nonononono–" My chest clenched in terror, knowing what this meant. I quickly fell to the floor, climbing under the bed as footsteps neared.

"Like the surprise I left you?"

I shook my head, despite him being unable to see me.

"Oh? Are you hiding?"

I curled into a ball, plugging my ears. No. This isn't happening. I'm imagining this. This isn't real. It must be a nightmare.

His footsteps traveled around the room, searching. I muffled my whimpers with my hand, trying to be as quiet as possible.

Silence fell.

Did he leave?

I was grabbed from under the bed and pulled out right as I thought those words. I screamed, thrashing in his grip. No–no! "Let me go!"

"And why would I do that?"

"...crazy, you're CRAZY!" I screeched, before realizing I never hung up. Hope sparked in my heart as I realized the possibility of being saved. I knew I was near a police station. They would be here soon. I had to stall him.

"Crazy? Of course, I am! Crazy for you~!"

I wanted to throw up.

I tried to smile, to distract him from the oncoming officers, but he knew it was fake. He saw right through my façade.

"Hm? What's wrong? Aren't you happy to see me?"

I heard the clicking of a gun.

"I will not hesitate to shoot!"

My head shot up. I reached toward the man, longing for the security and safety it would bring me by nearing him. But, that probably wasn't the best idea. Phil immediately looked where I was reaching, and scowled.

The man lunged forward to detain him, but failed when Phil put me down, and kicked him hard in the chest. Somehow, Phil was faster than the officer, able to disarm him and take the gun for himself. I covered my mouth in shock as he shot the man that was trying to save me. "NO!" I screamed, watching as more officers came to put a stop to this.

It felt like forever as gunshots rang throughout the room. Phil backtracked as a bullet went into his shoulder, before glaring at them with rage. "Please! Stop–"

I tried to stop them.

"Oh..."

**_"(Y/N)!_ ** _**NO!"**_

I watched as everyone froze and stared at me. I tilted my head in confusion before I felt my body give out from under me. Was I...?  
" ** _You BASTARDS!_** " Phil roared, before running over to me and lifting my head up. I blinked, everything becoming foggy. "No...no stay awake. Please! Don't disappear!" He sobbed, but I couldn't reply.

Everything wavered around me as I looked down at my hands. A crimson liquid covered them.

" _(Y/n)! No!_   ** _DON'T LEAVE ME!_** "

His voice echoed.

I was suddenly very tired. I let my eyes fall shut.

I heard screaming.

And everything went black.

For the last time.

**Phil POV**

****I watched her body go limp.

No...

My mind stopped functioning.

A blind rage consumed me. I didn't know what was happening. My body moved on its own.

And then it went silent.

"What have I done?"

I looked down.

I brought the gun up to my head, tears streaming down my face.

"I'm sorry..."

I whispered, before pulling the trigger.

And everything went black.

_For the last time._

 

 

 

**_Bad end. Try again?_ **


	23. End 2 - Stay

**Your POV**

"Alright! Let's go," my gaze traveled to the blue eyes of Phil, which lit up in happiness. The side of his lip twitched upwards into a smirk before his whole head turned to watch Dan, who smiled brightly.

"Let me help you up," Dan smiled, carefully picking me up as a sudden headache caused my vision to flash white. I clutched my skull, the taste of metal filling my mouth as liquid seeped out from my lips.

"(Y/n)!?" The voices of the two boys merged together, and seemed to grow far away. Were they even there? Everything warped and waved like a dream, disconnecting and jumping into different scenes.

_Wake up._

I gasped for air, drowning from the blood being coughed up.

_Wake up!_

I looked down, and saw my legs back where they were before the surgery. My eyes widened and shot upwards, studying the white room that was now coated with red. Standing up, I felt the world around me tip, everything tilting to the opposite direction and spinning around me.

_WAKE UP!_

I shut my eyes tightly, covering my ears as ringing and whispers nipped at my sensitive brain.

" _Please! Wake up!"_

Drowning in my own blood; what a way to go. My vision was obscured when the red fluid seeped into my iris's.

And then electricity surged through me. I couldn't breathe when my chest compressed under itself, pushing the rest of the oxygen in my lungs out.

"WAKE UP!"

And everything was quiet.

My eyes fluttered open, before looking at the room around me.

"You're awake! Ugh, finally! You've been out for a long time." Was that...Dan? A smile adorned his lips as he walked over to me. I looked around, realizing that I was in fact in his bed, with him walking over to me. "Hehe, sorry to make you sleep for so long. I guess I went overboard on the drugs."

My jaw dropped.

"I know, I kind of had to, you were going nuts!" He chuckled, eyes sparkling with amusement. "But I think it was too much. You were out for a few days."

I tried to think but my brain was mushed. Was that all a drug induced dream? Quickly the blanket was flung off by my frantic hands, and my legs were revealed.

"Oh, that. Well, I guess maybe the drugs paralyzed your legs for now. Don't worry, it's only temporary, so no freaking out on me."

My chest heaved, the realization dawning on me. I never fell. I never left. I didn't lose my legs.

"(Y/n)?" My head snapped upwards towards Dan's sparkling brown eyes, that held that hint of insanity. Oh god. Oh  _god._  Does this mean that dream about the murder wasn't real? Does that mean they haven't hurt anyone like I had thought? What was real and what wasn't?

I can't remember anymore.

"T–The drugs...they...I dreamed...that you guys hurt ..." I gasped for air, "The window!" I scrambled to my feet, now realizing why I had lost my legs in the dream. They were  _paralyzed,_  of course I couldn't feel them. Without thinking I slammed the window closed, hyperventilating. I remembered the drop.

"Uh, maybe the drugs were a bad idea..." I heard Dan murmur to himself, but I paid no attention. I flipped around to face him, wondering if what I dreamed was the future, or just some acid trip.

I pinched myself, reaffirming that it was reality. "I'm alive. I'm alive." The words I used to reassure myself made Dan's brows furrow. He turned around to get who I think is Phil, but the fear I felt towards him may be real or fake.

Did he kill anyone? Was that real? I can't tell.

I forced myself down to reckoning, trying to piece together my memories.

My feet carried me out of the room, pushing past Dan and running towards where I remembered Phil to be. His eyes widened when he saw me, and I noted the messiness of his black hair which was usually straight.

Don't cry. Don't be scared. Why do I feel such fear? My body quakes as he steps closer, a joyful and relieved smile on his face. "Oh! You're awake. How are you?"  _Don't get closer,_  I thought as I backed away. Was I this scared of him in my dream? No, I wasn't. What else could drive this fear–

My head pounded as images of a coffin being lowered entered my cognizance. Briefly I saw Phil stalking towards me with a predatorily stare, before the scene changed and a gun was pointed at my face while he screamed for my sake.

This can't be real. This can't be right.

"You okay? You seem frazzled." Phil chuckled, before looking past me.

"Yeah, I think we overdid it." Dan said, and I could hear the concern in his voice.

Dan...was dead. The images of death haunted me, the shackles of my fears pinning me to the moment that I wanted to escape. "(Y/n), calm down. You're okay. You're safe with us."

No. No. They're here. They're so close to me. I can't breathe. "Get away from me!" I screeched, the touch of another sending me into a frenzy of panic. My body stumbled into the kitchen, picking up the sharpest knife I could find. "Don't come any closer." The threatening tone seemed to throw them off guard, but they continued to step forward. I pointed the blade towards them, hoping to scare them.

"Now, now, you need to calm down." Dan said, eyes filled with warmth. But I saw through this charade. I can't be scared. I have to be brave. But every step they took struck fear in my heart. "Come on, we're here for you."

They weren't stopping.

They weren't scared of me.

But maybe, they were scared of something happening to me. The next step they took caused my reaction, resulting in the knife being pointed at my chest. Phil's eyes widened in shock while Dan seemed lost in panic.

"Any closer and I will do it."

"You wouldn't." Phil assured, but knew otherwise. My mind was twisting as the clocks churned around me. Reality and fantasy merged when the dreams and my memories started combining, creating a hybrid of consciousness in front of me.

Instead of the concerned faces of the two facing me, I saw the bloodied Phil standing menacingly, ready to kill me. And I saw Dan with binds in his hands, ready to chain me up and leave me for dead.

Terror crawled up my throat making me shed the tears I tried to hold back.

"Get away from me!"

**Dan POV**

I stared as (Y/n) pulled the knife toward her chest, causing my heartbeat to pick up alarmingly. My eyes traveled to Phil, hoping to find reassurance in his gaze. But the same panic I was feeling matched his. Why is she acting like this? I would understand some concern but this is too far.

"Get away from me!" She screeched, her (h/c) hair framing her crazed (e/c) eyes.

"H–Hey...I don't know why you're so scared right now...I mean probably because of the shock of what happened before we knocked you out. That would make sense. But, we would never hurt you! So don't be scared, okay?" I tried to reason, but instead of comfort I only saw petrified confusion in her gaze.

"You were dead. You weren't alive!" She turned to me, "Wait...no that was a different dream. Was it a dream? Dear God I have legs!" Her body began to sway as her pupils dilated, almost expanding past her irises.

Phil rushed forward, pulling the knife from her hands before catching her when she fell. The fists I had formed relaxed when her eyes finally closed. I sighed deeply, studying (Y/n)'s features as they relaxed into slumber.

"She probably had some kind of fever dream," Phil said, picking her up and walking out of the kitchen. I watched as he set her down gently on the couch, smoothing out her messy hair. For some reason that didn't seem it, but I wanted–no,  _needed_ to brush it off.

"The dream must've freaked her out a lot. But we can make her forget," Phil continued, the strange gleam in his eyes returning. "It'll take time, but she'll slowly come to accept us and her new reality."

My gaze didn't leave her, thoughts swirling in my head. Was this the right choice? Should we really ignore everything she said? "Dan," my head snapped up, "don't overthink it, please. She's just recovering from the shock of the circumstance, and the medication."

I nodded. Yeah, it'll only take a little bit to get her to rely on us again.

She won't remember this even happened.

Just in case though...

"Maybe we should restrict her a bit. Just in case she becomes... _rash..._ again." I said, rubbing the back of my neck.

"I agree," Phil smiled, "we know what's best for her, after all." Chills crept up my spine at his words, causing my lips to pull back into a smile as I felt the darkness consume my heart. This was for the best.

She doesn't need to be free to be happy.

She only needs us.

She only needs me.

_Just me._

*****

 ****"Hey, and if you don't mind, why not click that subscribe button if you want to see more gaming videos." I smiled, letting Phil end the video recording. As soon as the camera closed I heard a yawn from the other room, causing a grin to brighten my face.

I rushed out of Phil's room and into mine, only to see (e/c) eyes staring back at mind. "Dan?" (Y/n) rubbed her eyes, yawning cutely as she stretched. "Oh. How did recording go?" Her head tilted with curiosity.

"It went great! We were celebrating Dil's birthday in the Sims, super funny." I said, sitting down on the end of the bed and staring back at her. "How was your nap?"

"I had funny dreams."

The room became chilled. The smile on my face strained, trying to make sure I stayed calm. "Oh? What were they about?"

She giggled, "they were silly. Like, you guys were all scary and stuff. Something about how I was here against my will. Funny right? Why wouldn't I want to be here?"

My hands gripped the sheets, trying to stay radiating positivity. "Wow, what a ridiculous dream," my teeth clenched, trying to remain composed.

"Yeah..." Her eyes seemed to cloud over, and I quickly reached past her and grabbed the bottle of pills on the desk beside the bed.

"Did you forget to take your medicine? It's okay, but you'll have to take it now." (Y/n) stared at me, and for a second I saw terror on her face. But it disappeared once she downed the pills. Her gaze returned to normal, the innocent happiness taking over her.

She giggled again, before grabbing my hand. "I wuv you!" She said, purposefully babying her words. I chuckled, before pulling her into a hug.

"I love you too, (Y/n)."

My smile stretched farther, and my eyes widened without consent. My body began twitching and I quickly suppressed that tick that I had developed.

"How much?" She playfully asked.

I grasped onto her shirt, letting my fingers curl around the fabric.

" _Too much_."

*********

"(Y/n)!"

I couldn't find her.

Where was she?

I sprinted through the house, before realizing one of the bathroom doors were closed. I began to pound on it, hearing a whimper from the inside. "(Y/n)! Open the door!"

I received no reply.

Without thinking I began ramming into it. Eventually, the lock broke and I pushed in. I sighed when I saw her.

Her (e/c) eyes were clouded as pills surrounded her. I watched as she continued to stuff more into her mouth and swallow. Quickly I snapped out of it and grabbed the bottle from her. "What are you doing?" I said, trying to remain collected.

Her eyes watered, "I'm getting scary images. I keep having weird dreams." She curled into a ball, before sobbing into her knees. "You were so scary. But I know it's not real. You told me it's not real and I believe you."

My gaze darkened.

"Yes. It's not real."

I pulled her into my arms.

"The only thing that's real is you and me. Everyone else is fake and evil. Everybody just wants to hurt you, and me."

She nodded, curling into me.

My hold tightened possessively, her reliance on me filling my heart with warmth.

"I love you (Y/n)."

"I love you more." She giggled. I rested my chin on her (h/c) hair, before smirking to myself.

" _If only you did._ "

*********

**Your POV**

****Everything swirled around me as the days passed by. Happiness clenched my chest through the fogginess in my brain. It didn't matter what was real and what wasn't. As long as I feel the dopamine rush in my brain nothing else matters.

My vision blurred.

My lips molded with the brown-haired brit in front of me, butterflies jumping around in my beating heart.

"By the way, you've been uninvited."

His brow raised, before reaching for the bottle of magic happy capsules on the table. I must be relapsing into my nightmares. Into the fake. I felt my mouth open and swallow, letting myself be consumed by false memories.

"You don't get to come to the funeral. You're not important enough."

Flashes of blood and terror cross my gaze, and the feeling of air entering my lungs is a feeling of lucid dreaming. It feels as though my brain is trying to copy the feeling the happiness to forget what I had seen and experienced.

_"(Y/n) I think we need to up the dose. You seem to be experiencing some...troubling things. I don't want to see you in pain."_

My stomach churned and the happiness exited my body through fluid leaving my mouth. Clarity was etching its way into my brain and forcing my body to exhale the falseness I have been living.

"I'm your crime. You're a criminal. I don't–I don't­–"

_"Phil!"_

I loved the panic I heard.

The fear I heard brought a smile to my trembling lips.

"You're uninvited. You don't get to come to the funeral."

_"(Y/n), snap out of it. This is the bad nightmares talking, okay? It's the fake things. I love you, okay? Just listen to my voice."_

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry–sorry–sorry–" I cried.

_"Phil she's breaking down I think."_

"You're not real. You're just a copycat. Dan is dead. I'm dead. Phil is dead. I don't have legs. You committed and the finger on the trigger is mine and I'm dead–dead–dead–dead–"

_"Phil, hurry up!"_

"You're not invited to the funeral. By the way, I'm actually dead."

_"What's going on with her?"_

"I'm yours. I would hate to see me go. I'd hate to tell you that you crossed the line. I'm so sorry, sorry, sorry my love. But I feel like I have to see you go."

Laughter bubbled in my chest.

"Nothing is real, everything is fake. Everything is wrong and I'm right. Why aren't the happiness bubbles working– _Murderer!_ You are a killer, a freak, obsessed with a false fantasy that will never happen. And by the way, you're uninvited to the funeral. The casket couldn't hold you in, could it? You copycat. Copycat–copycat– the copycat. Cocky boy because you love me doesn't mean you're not real."

The click-clacking sound of the bat rang in my head as it played along a breathing ribcage. Blood seeped through the scalped head of scum. "I did it too, I copied–I copied the happy and my back was watched when I didn't watch mine because he followed and followed and followed."

"I don't belong to you. You're not invited in my heart you corpse copycat. Don't cop my lover's manners. Die. Die. Die. Die. You can't love me you're just a clone."

The bat swung and darkness took away my consciousness.

 **DAn P** o **V**

"She's losing it."

I whispered.

"Phil, why didn't you help me?"

I stared into the dull eyes of my pale friend, watching the flies rush into his mouth and out through his sockets.

"She keeps yelling at me."

Dark stains rested into his skin after dripping for days.

"Next time _please_  find it in you to put in some effort." I chuckled, bumping his shoulder playfully, and he collapsed onto the floor afterwards. Maggots feasted on his opened throat, and I chuckled once again.

"You should probably shower too. You've got an infestation problem because of how bad you smell."

I heard shuffling from the other room and walked out, seeing (Y/n) and smiling.

"Morning doll~" I smiled, walking over to her and adjusting the strings around her and lifting her into a sitting position. "You lazy bum, can't even get up on your own." I sat down next to her and wrapped my arm around her, "Good thing I love you so much."

_"I'm dead. I'm dead and you're dead in a casket."_

"You're so funny."

 _"Uninvited. You're uninvited to the funeral. Dead. Dead. Copycat! Copycat! Stop trying to cop his manners."_ Her voice fluttered lovingly, and I smiled back and kissed her cheek.

"I love you too sweetheart, you don't have to tell me all the time." I moved closer to her, eyes closing, "Though I don't mind since I love your voice."

_"Copycat trying to cop my lover. Too far, you are too far. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I want to go."_

"Aw, honey. You're mine, and I love you. Be careful what you say, since you just crossed the line. I'd hate to see you go."

_"I'm sorry I had to tell you. Sorry. Sorry sorry sorry sorry–Psych!"_

"Okay doll, I know life is hard, but our love will get us through."

_"Copycat. Copycat. Copycat."_

"Alright, alright, we will watch your favorite show."

I turned on the TV, and static rested across the screen.

"There you go."

Her eyes gleamed.

 

 **D _a_** N p **O** _V_

_"Uninvited. Uninvited. Dead. Dead."_

"Love you too."

_"Am corpse. Wake up. Dead. Copycat. My lover gone. I'm dead. Gone."_

"Hehe, you're so cute when you laugh."

 

d ** _N_**   _p **O**_ **v**

_"You're dead."_

"Love you."

_"...no...dn.wo..wh–U **djl IE**iem–be,,"_

"I would hate to see you go."

 **D** –– p ** _v,,,,_**

_Lowering casket._

_Dirt shuffle left gone._

_"Copycat. Coping with my lover,, "!._

_"committed bye crime. !!"??!?_

_gun trigger""!_

_bb–lack last time._

_Foever,,,, **de** ad gone._

 

 

 

_**enD >,,,,,DAN,,,,** _

**_tRy,,///aagGaainn?????!!_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you like a last, happy ending?


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